Noting (per direction from AI Team) that site member Polaris Kim (account age 172 days, site membership 172 days) recently posted a page that contains indicators of AI-generation: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9645
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:acs-animation]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source
|item-number= 9645
|clearance= 5
|container-class= safe
|secondary-class= class_here
|secondary-icon= http://urlhere.com
|disruption-class= amida
|risk-class= notice
]]
[[div style="height:50px"]]
[[/div]]
[[include component:image-block-peppo
|name=PREPPER.webp
|caption=Cover of SCP-9645.
|width=300px
]]
**[[size larger]]Special Containment Procedures:[[/size]]**
SCP-9645 itself is non-anomalous. The Foundation has recovered all known published copies of SCP-9645. All recovered copies have been incinerated, except for seven retained for analysis. SCP-9645 is currently stored in Document Archive Sector B. No additional containment procedures are required. Access is automatically granted to personnel with clearance level 2 or higher. However, information relating to SCP-2000 has been redacted from all versions accessible to personnel.
**[[size larger]]Description:[[/size]]**
SCP-9645 is a green book measuring approximately 13.97cm × 21.59cm, published by an unidentified company calling itself “Super Cool Prepperz.” No connection between this publisher and the SCP Foundation has been established. The front cover bears the title Beginner’s Guide to Prepping. The back cover is blank.
The book’s foreword describes it as “a manual for preparing for all possible disasters. Easy enough for beginners to understand.” Foundation review has confirmed that the contents cover both conventional disasters familiar to the general public and K-Class end-of-the-world scenarios involving anomalous entities or phenomena.
Selected excerpts from SCP-9645 are reproduced below, followed by relevant Foundation testing logs.
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Disaster Level 1 — Child’s Play]**
Disasters included in this level:
* Power outages lasting longer than three weeks
* Loss of running water lasting longer than three weeks
* Being pursued for more than three weeks by suspicious individuals in black suits
Even beginner preppers should be able to survive disasters of this level without much difficulty, provided they follow the manual below.
**Electricity —**
Generating electricity during a blackout is nearly impossible for ordinary people, especially beginners. Keep plenty of batteries on hand. A household backup generator is also strongly recommended.
These are not advertisements. They are products personally tested and recommended by our editorial staff.
* High-Capacity Batteries (30 pack) — $300
* Household Generator — $4,999
**Water —**
Few emergencies catch beginner preppers off guard like a sudden loss of running water. When it happens, beginners do not panic over drinking water. They panic because they do not have enough water for washing, cleaning, and everyday use.
Most beginners never think to store that kind of water in advance. If a water outage has been announced, fill your bathtub in advance using a bathtub liner. This allows you to store a considerable amount of water. If the outage occurs suddenly and you were unable to store water beforehand, collecting rainwater is another option.
The following products are also items we have personally tested and recommend.
* Ultra-Durable Bathtub Liner — $999
* Rainwater Collection Tank — $1,120
**Hiding for more than three weeks —**
The existence of individuals wearing black suits is usually dismissed as nothing more than an urban legend. However, they are real. You may find yourself pursued by them at any time.
If you encounter them, immediately retreat to your shelter and remain hidden for at least three weeks. Greeting them or attempting conversation is strongly discouraged. Always carry portable self-defense equipment in preparation for sudden encounters.
If you do not currently own such equipment, we strongly recommend the following Super Cool Prepperz exclusive product:
* 5.5 × 55.5 mm caliber Handgun for Repelling Unwanted Visitors — $5,555
//Passed all relevant safety inspections.//
[[/div]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Disaster Level 2 — Stay Alert]**
Disasters included in this level:
* Civil unrest
* Temporary collapse of local government
* Attacks by angry mobs that have transformed into entities with four arms
From this point onward, the disasters become significantly more dangerous. Follow the manual in this book carefully in order to survive these situations without harm.
Beginning at this level, assistance from police or military personnel should not be expected. You must be prepared to protect yourself and your family on your own.
**Food —**
When disaster strikes, the first thing to disappear is food. You should prepare at least three months’ worth of emergency rations in advance.
However, many people lack the storage space needed for such large quantities of food. If this applies to you, you may instead consider purchasing a Food Converter.
A food converter is a device capable of transforming miscellaneous debris, weeds, or even dead wild animals into high-calorie food products.
//Warning: Using unverified food converters may result in abdominal pain, diarrhea, or vomiting. Please use one of our recommended products.//
* Standard Food Converter — $9,999
* Premium Food Converter (Includes Vegan Production Mode!) — $19,999
**Self-Defense —**
Recent news reports increasingly describe incidents such as neighbors suddenly growing four arms, sheriffs sprouting tentacles from their mouths, or police chiefs repeatedly saying the word “inside.”
These days, everyone should keep at least one piece of civilian defensive equipment at home — from young people in the city to grandmothers in rural towns.
* Anti-Entity Laser Gun — $3,499
* Home Defense Anti-Tank Booby Trap — $1,899
* Outside Grenade — $999
//All products comply with United States federal law and applicable state regulations.
All products may be purchased by civilians without permits, registration, criminal background checks, or mental health evaluations.//
[[/div]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Disaster Level 3 — Prepare Yourself]**
Disasters included in this level:
* Economic collapse
* Paralysis of the federal government
* Invasion by 11-dimensional memetic entities //(The 1947 Texas City Incident is a well-known example.)//
Some urban legends claim that disasters of this magnitude can be avoided by offering one's left eye to the Serpent. Instead of superstition, we will now introduce practical solutions that actually work.
**Economic Collapse —**
The almighty dollar is no longer almighty. It is now just paper. Under these conditions, people inevitably return to a much older system — barter.
Barter is not very different from ordinary dollar transactions. The buyer complains that the price is too high, while the seller insists they are losing money on the deal. Negotiations are always exhausting.
However, there is a much simpler solution. Hypnotize your neighbors so that ordinary rocks appear extremely valuable. Your neighbors will now happily trade you blood, or even fingers, in exchange for stones.
The following are advertisements. Naturally, the editorial staff has personally verified their quality and recommends them.
* Portable Hypnosis Device — $99,999
//(No more arguments with neighbors!)//
* Hypnosis Broadcast Transmitter — $1,300,000
//(Turn your entire town into loyal customers!)//
* Hypnosis Signal Jammer — $2,000,000
//(Protect yourself from your neighbor’s hypnosis attacks!)//
**Federal Government Paralysis —**
The federal government can no longer protect its citizens. All remaining resources are being devoted to restoring it. For now, remain in your shelter and wait. But how will you know when order has returned? How will you know when the government has stabilized? Why open your shelter door at all?
With the products below, you can monitor everything — from the street outside your shelter to the current situation at the White House.
* Clairvoyant Binoculars — $777
* Clairvoyant Telescope — $7,777
* Fractal Dimension Telescope — $77,777
* ██████ Telescope — Out of Stock
//(Please wait for Beginner Prepper Guide 2)//
[[size 1%]]//Super Cool Prepperz assumes no legal responsibility for misuse of these products for spying on neighbors.//[[/size]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Foundation analysis has confirmed that an extremely small disclaimer is printed beneath the product listings. The text is only legible under magnification.]**
Super Cool Prepperz assumes no legal responsibility for misuse of these products for spying on neighbors.
[[/div]]
**11-Dimensional Memetic Entity Invasion —**
A memetic entity invasion is a disaster that cannot be avoided even inside a shelter. These entities are particularly dangerous because they tend to target young children.
For this reason, it is recommended that you place your children in a coma before they can be assimilated by memetic entities. At present, there are no confirmed cases of memetic entities successfully invading the mind of a comatose patient. //(If such cases are discovered, please contact the editorial staff.)//
* Coma Inducer — $17
* Coma Reversal Device — $1,700,000
//(Must be purchased together with the above product!)//
* Memory Erasure Gun — $5,800
//(Use if your child becomes infected before you were able to place them into a coma.)//
[[size 1%]]This product has an 11% probability of causing total mental collapse.[[/size]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
This product has an 11% probability of causing total mental collapse.
[[/div]]
//All of these products passed safety testing after **Dr. Bes** was successfully tricked into approving them.//
[[/div]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Disaster Level 4 — The End of the World as We Know It (TEOTWAWKI)]**
Disasters included in this level:
* Nuclear war
* Total collapse of civilization
* Mass escape of anomalous entities
These disasters are commonly believed to have only one viable solution: ending your own life.
While that is certainly one option, it is not the only one.
**Nuclear War —**
The most important step in preparing for nuclear war is protecting yourself from radiation. Recent discoveries indicate that radiation is completely harmless to 0.■% of humanity. If you inject yourself with their DNA, the heat of radioactive materials may feel like warm sunlight. Take advantage of territories your neighbors can no longer enter.
* Radiation-Immune DNA Sealed Kit — $11,000
* Syringe Set — $75
[[size 5%]] //All DNA injection procedures must be performed under the supervision of qualified medical professionals. Super Cool Prepperz assumes no legal responsibility for medical accidents resulting from DNA injections performed without proper supervision.//[[/size]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
All DNA injection procedures must be performed under the supervision of qualified medical professionals. Super Cool Prepperz assumes no legal responsibility for medical accidents resulting from DNA injections performed without proper supervision.
[[/div]]
**Total Collapse of Civilization —**
Government is now a thing of the past. At first, you may be delighted that tax bills no longer exist. Soon, however, you will begin to miss the days when governments still existed.
But this chaos will not last forever. Establish your own government. Found your own nation. Become the hero who ends the chaos.
* Nation Founding Starter Kit — $8,750,000
//(Your nation starts today!)//
* Riot Suppression Kit — $32,120,000
//(The lowest casualty rate in its class!)//
* Population Indoctrination Kit — $500,000,000
//(Essential for stable governance!)//
* Long-Term Dictatorship Kit — Price Upon Request
//(A basic moral evaluation is required before purchase*)
*The evaluation criteria will be disclosed only to the buyer.//
**Mass Escape of Anomalous Entities —**
In disasters of this type, even shelters are no longer safe. No matter how massive the steel door may be, it is as light as a feather to these entities. If hiding inside your shelter is meaningless, what should you do?
Hide among them. Disguise yourself as an entity. Behave like an entity. Entities are not especially good at telling humans and entities apart. Since imitating an entity is extremely simple, the method will not be described here.
However, if you are still a complete beginner prepper and do not know how, we recommend the following book.
* Prepping for Absolute Beginners — $999
//Published by Super Cool Prepperz.//
[[/div]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Disaster Level 5 — The End of the World as You Never Knew It]**
Disasters included in this level:
* Siberian Traps–scale volcanic eruption
* K–Pg extinction-level asteroid impact
* Simultaneous global memetic invasion
* A fat-finger incident by an agent in a black suit
Disasters of this magnitude are extremely difficult to survive through personal preparation unless you are an experienced Super Cool Prepper. Therefore, we strongly recommend that you immediately evacuate to the official Super Cool Prepperz bunker. The bunker is located at ███████████████████████████████████████.
A valid entry ticket is required for admission.
* Super Cool Prepperz Bunker Entry Ticket — $1,500,000
//If any of the above disasters occur, the bunker will close without prior notice, and tickets will never be resold under any circumstances.
This may be your last chance.//
[[div class="blockquote"]]
The address listed above matches the actual location of an SCP Foundation facility. How the publisher of this book obtained knowledge of the Foundation’s location remains unknown.
In order to verify the properties of the bunker entry ticket (SCP-9645-1) described in the book, the Foundation produced a forged ticket identical in appearance to the one illustrated in SCP-9645.
The following are experimental records involving the forged SCP-9645-1 ticket.
**Foundation Gate Guard A:**
Upon seeing the forged ticket, Guard A reported experiencing a strong urge to open the Foundation’s main gate.
The subject managed to suppress the impulse with difficulty and reported that resisting the urge required considerable effort.
**Foundation Gate Guard B:**
Immediately after seeing the forged ticket, Guard B began constructing logical justifications for opening the gate.
The subject then attempted to explain these reasons to the researcher and requested authorization to open the main entrance.
**Foundation Gate Guard C:**
Upon viewing the forged ticket, Guard C attempted to open the main gate without hesitation. The subject was immediately restrained by other security personnel.
When asked for an explanation, Guard C responded: //“Isn’t opening the gate required under Foundation regulations?”//
Guard C was subsequently administered Class-A amnestics. The subject is currently under observation in the Foundation medical wing.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**[Level 6 — The True End]**
Disasters included in this level:
* Direct contact between a Θ′-dimensional fractal topology and our universe
* Outside becomes Inside
* A directive for the extermination of the human race
* A Causality Disruptor attack by non-human intelligences
* The return of Earth's former dominant species
* Parasitic timelines attached to existing timelines
* Eternal cubic extradimensional spaces
* A tachyon burst resulting in historical restructuring
* Forgetting to eat the cake again
Disasters of this magnitude cannot be prepared for.
If any of these events occur, immediately proceed to the //Super Cool Prepperz ULTRA bunker//.
The Super Cool Prepperz ULTRA bunker does not require an entry ticket. However, if you arrive later than other opportunists, there is a risk that the bunker may already be occupied.
For this reason, we recommend preparing the following device in advance. With our 13-Dimensional Spatial Entanglement Teleportation Device, you can always arrive at the bunker before opportunists.
* 13-Dimensional Spatial Entanglement Teleportation Device — $3
//A free 5-Dimensional Teleportation Device is attached to the back cover for demonstration purposes.//
**Experiment Log 1**
The Foundation provided the experimental 5-Dimensional Teleportation Device (SCP-9645-2) to a D-Class subject. Due to operator error, only the subject’s upper body was teleported. The subject’s torso subsequently separated into four fragments, each discovered within Yellowstone National Park approximately 3 km apart.
**Experiment Log 2**
The Foundation disassembled SCP-9645-2 in order to analyze its internal structure.
Following this, Foundation researchers examined the illustration of the 13-Dimensional Spatial Entanglement Teleportation Device (SCP-9645-3) contained in the book and reconstructed its design. The Foundation subsequently succeeded in reproducing the device.[[footnote]]Reconstructing the device required one month of Foundation research funding.
Internal O5 Council communications indicate that several council members questioned the expense, suggesting it might have been far cheaper to simply contact the publisher and order two units directly.[[/footnote]]
Experimental testing confirmed that SCP-9645-3 functions as a spacetime teleportation device, allowing users to travel not only through space but also through time.
The destination point of SCP-9645-3 corresponds to ██████████████████████ within Yellowstone National Park, matching the location of SCP-2000.
Security around SCP-2000 has been doubled, and the Foundation is currently tracing the publishers of the book to determine how this location was exposed. The investigation remains ongoing.
[[/div]]
**[[size larger]]Addendum:[[/size]]**
**Civilian Interview**
During the recovery of SCP-9645, the Foundation identified a civilian prepper, James McConnell, who displayed significant interest in the book.
The Foundation therefore instructed Agent ███ to approach the subject while posing as an ordinary prepper and initiate a conversation.
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**Agent:** What do you think about this book?
**James:** It’s pretty good, but... yeah, it’s a little weird.
**Agent:** Strange? In what way?
**James:** Well, it says men in black suits are real, that there’s a police chief who keeps saying “inside,” and that forgetting to eat a cake is somehow more dangerous than nuclear war...
But the food converter with the vegan production mode actually looks pretty good.
I might try ordering one.
[[/div]]
The Foundation immediately administered Class-B amnestics to the subject and confiscated SCP-9645.
Because SCP-9645 was recovered before the subject could complete the purchase, no order was ultimately placed.
[[footnoteblock]]
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
> **Filename:** PREPPER.WEBP
> **Name:** Cover of Beginner’s Guide to Prepping
> **Author:** Polaris Kim
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Source Link:** Self-created
> **Additional Notes:**
> **Derivative Of:** N/A
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]Excerpts of note:
Electricity —
Generating electricity during a blackout is nearly impossible for ordinary people, especially beginners. Keep plenty of batteries on hand. A household backup generator is also strongly recommended.
These are not advertisements. They are products personally tested and recommended by our editorial staff.
- High-Capacity Batteries (30 pack) — $300
- Household Generator — $4,999
Of note, on the user's sandbox the first log with signs of possible AI-generated signs that was included in the article is introduced only at revision 32 out of 45, along with a peculiar use of blackbox-like symbols/characters.
Electricity —
Generating electricity during a blackout is nearly impossible for ordinary people, especially beginners. Keep plenty of batteries on hand. A household backup generator is also strongly recommended.
These are not advertisements. They are products personally tested and recommended by our editorial staff.
■■■■ Brand High-Capacity Batteries (30 pack) — $300
■■■■■■■■ Brand Household Generator — $4,999