Noting that new site member
MisterHolmes (account age 3 days, site membership 2 days) recently posted the following draft critique thread, which has many common indicators of AI-generation: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-17560830/scp-9969 thread description "Keter-class entity targeting medical staff for malpractice; features psychological torment, surgical termination, condition transference. Word count: 1343."
Title: SCP-9969: The Voiceless
Genre: Horror / Retribution / Medical
Word Count: 1343
Page: [SCP-9969 Draft](https://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/scp-9969-draft)
Synopsis: An anomalous entity that manifests following fatal medical malpractice, targeting responsible staff through a multi-day psychological and physical torment cycle culminating in precise surgical termination. Contains logs, interview, and failed containment attempt.
—-
Feedback requested on:
- Tone and pacing
- SCP-logic (механика «Голосов страха» и переноса состояний)
- Structural clarity (организация аддендумов и логов)
- Overall horror effectiveness
Notes: First-time author, open to constructive criticism. Draft is complete and ready for review.
The sandbox linked also has several typical indicators of AI-generation. Full draft present upon creation, no edits:
**Item #**: SCP-9969
**Object Class:** Keter
**Special Containment Procedures:** Due to its anomalous abilities, the containment of SCP-9969 is currently impossible. All information about new manifestations is to be classified as Level 3.
**Description:** SCP-9969 was first documented on January 12, 1912, at Bellevue Hospital in New York City. The exact nature of SCP-9969 remains unclear: it may be an autonomous anomalous phenomenon or a sentient entity. For the purposes of this document, the latter hypothesis is assumed.
SCP-9969 is a humanoid entity resembling a male of approximately 185 cm in height. Its precise height is unmeasurable as it is always observed in a seated position. The entity constantly moves using a wheelchair and is often facing away from observers. Despite its frail appearance and physical disability, SCP-9969 possesses superhuman physical strength. The entity appears to be incapable of speech; however, it can somehow mimic the sounds made by other people. This characteristic has earned it the designation "The Voiceless."
**Addendum 9969-1:** The "Voices of Fear" Phenomenon
SCP-9969 is known to select one or more individuals (designated SCP-9969-2) concurrently, triggering an anomalous event designated the "Voices of Fear." The event culminates in the termination of SCP-9969-2 via varied and precise methods.
SCP-9969-2 instances are exclusively drawn from medical staff (including surgeons, nurses, and orderlies) deemed directly responsible for a critical incident involving a patient under their care. This incident must result in the patient's death or permanent disability, at which point the affected patient is classified as SCP-9969-1. The specific nature of the malpractice (e.g., surgical error, neglect, administrative failure) appears to be irrelevant. The "Voices of Fear" event typically initiates within several hours of the qualifying incident.
**Event Duration & Initial Phase**
The "Voices of Fear" event progresses over a period of five to seven days. SCP-9969 does not physically manifest until the third or fourth day.
**Addendum 9969-1:** The "Voices of Fear" Phenomenon (continued)
Phase 1 (Days 1-3): Psychological Torment
During the initial phase, SCP-9969-2 instances suffer from acute insomnia and severe nightmares. They report incessant auditory hallucinations, perceiving the screams and pleas of past patients they have harmed through malpractice. These hallucinations are not limited to SCP-9969-1, but encompass all identifiable patients affected by SCP-9969-2's prior negligence. When sleep is achieved, subjects invariably dream of SCP-9969's silhouette and the visage of SCP-9969-1.
Phase 2 (Days 3-5): First Manifestation & Empathic Transfer
Between days three and five, SCP-9969 physically manifests for the first time. The entity appears seated in its wheelchair, oriented with its back to SCP-9969-2. This manifestation is accompanied in SCP-9969-2 by intense vertigo and a crescendo in the auditory hallucinations.
Within five to ten minutes of manifestation, SCP-9969-2 loses consciousness for a period of several hours. Upon awakening, the auditory hallucinations cease. However, SCP-9969-2 now begins to experientially mirror the physical pain and emotional distress suffered by SCP-9969-1 at the moment of the qualifying incident. For example, if SCP-9969-1 died from peritonitis, SCP-9969-2 will develop symptoms of acute, localized abdominal agony.
This empathic affliction lasts approximately 48-72 hours. Its conclusion is marked by a brief return of the auditory hallucinations, serving as a precursor to the final phase.
Phase 3 (Final Day): Terminal Manifestation & Retribution
SCP-9969 manifests for the final time. During this terminal manifestation, SCP-9969-2 enters a state of full-body paralysis while retaining sensory awareness (locked-in syndrome). SCP-9969 initially presents facing away before turning to approach SCP-9969-2.
The entity then executes SCP-9969-2 via a series of rapid, precise incisions to the cervical region using a surgical scalpel. Following the termination, SCP-9969 dematerializes. The scalpel is never recovered.
**Nota Bene:**
SCP-9969 becomes visible to non-target bystanders only during this final, terminal manifestation.
Any attempt to physically interrupt or prevent the termination results in the immediate and lethal neutralization of the intervening party by anomalous means.
Post-Event Anomaly: Condition Transference
If SCP-9969-1 survives the initial incident, their condition shows marked and often miraculous improvement following the death of SCP-9969-2. Concurrently, SCP-9969-1 may develop chronic conditions or symptoms that were previously documented in SCP-9969-2's medical history. This suggests that a form of anomalous transference of medical states occurs as a core component of SCP-9969's punitive cycle.
**Addendum 9969-2: Incident Logs**
> **Log V-1912 (First Recorded Manifestation)**
> Date: 12-18 January 1912
> Location: Bellevue Hospital, New York City
> Summary: Following a fatal surgical error during a cardiac procedure performed by Dr. Steven > > Dolbach, subject Dolbach (provisionally designated SCP-9969-2) reported persistent auditory
> hallucinations ("the patient's screams"). Physiological symptoms manifested approximately 60 hours post-incident, including visual hallucinations and acute chest pain. On 18 January, subject was found deceased in his private office, presenting three deep, precise lacerations to the throat. No weapon was recovered. The identity of the patient (SCP-9969-1) remains unknown due to contemporaneous record-keeping failures.
> **Log V-1954 (Documentation of Condition Transference)**
> Date: 27 June 1954
> Location: ███████ █████████ Hospital, ████████
> Summary: Laboratory technician Elizabeth Shaw (SCP-9969-2) failed to properly sterilize surgical instruments, leading to a postoperative infection in patient Arthur Craig (SCP-9969-1) during an appendectomy. Subject Shaw reported standard "Voices of Fear" symptomatology. Termination occurred on the fifth day via the established method.
>
> Notable Post-Incident Observation: Following subject Shaw's termination, patient Craig's condition improved rapidly and inexplicably; the appendiceal inflammation resolved without further intervention. Subsequent long-term monitoring of Mr. Craig revealed the onset of >idiopathic atrial fibrillation. A review of Ms. Shaw's pre-mortem medical records confirmed a >prior diagnosis of the same arrhythmia. This case provided the first documented evidence of the >Post-Event Anomaly: Condition Transference (see Addendum 9969-1).
**Addendum 9969-3: Interview Log & Containment Attempt**
> **Interview Log 9969-2002-04**
> Interviewed: Dr. Henry Lawrence (Provisional SCP-9969-2)
> Interviewer: Agent █████
> Date: 04 Days Post-Incident
> Foreword: Interview conducted following a standard Foundation alert regarding a surgical fatality at ███████ Hospital. Subject exhibits advanced Stage 2 symptoms.
>
> **<Begin Log>**
>
> Agent █████: Henry, describe your experiences during the first 72 hours following the procedure.
>
> Dr. Lawrence: I… I heard him scream. The scream of the patient. It was… furious. Just guttural sounds at first, then… goddamn it, he was yelling at me. Telling me I was worthless. I couldn’t sleep for over a day. When I finally blacked out… I saw him. That thing in the goddamn wheelchair, just sitting there, ten meters away. My head was spinning. The screams got louder.
>
> Agent █████: And after that?
>
> Dr. Lawrence: Two more days of the same. Just… screams and… shapes in my head. And then… it happened. I don't want to think about it.
>
> Agent █████: If you want our help, you need to provide a full account.
>
> Dr. Lawrence: (Pauses, audibly distressed) Okay… He appeared. Right in front of me. That bastard. I fainted almost right away. When I woke up… I thought it was over. The screaming stopped. But then… I felt it. A sharp, stabbing pain. Right here. (Subject indicates chest.) In my heart. It’s still there. It’s a fucking hellish pain.
>
> **<End Log>**
> Closing Note: Subject was in visible physiological distress, clutching his sternum. Interview terminated at subject's request. Pain appeared genuine and severe. Prognosis: Terminal.
>
> **Addendum 9969-4: Incident Report 9969-2002 & Termination of Research**
>
> Incident Report 9969-2002
> Date: 05 Days Post-Incident (Night)
> Location: ███████ Hospital
> Action: Against established Protocol 99-Omega (Non-Interference with Uncontainable Retributive Entities), Site Command authorized a tactical intervention to prevent the termination of Dr. Lawrence.
>
> Event Summary:
> Upon SCP-9969's manifestation in Dr. Lawrence's hospital room, two Foundation operatives immediately engaged with lethal ballistic force. The entity showed no reaction to the impacts. Both operatives collapsed simultaneously without any physical contact from SCP-9969, succumbing to immediate acute asphyxiation of unknown etiology.
>
> A third operative attempted close-quarters physical suppression. SCP-9969 repelled the individual with a single motion, propelling them into a structural wall with fatal force. Subsequently, SCP-9969 proceeded to terminate Dr. Lawrence via standard methodology before dematerializing.
>
> Conclusion: The intervention resulted in three (3) Foundation casualties and zero deviation from SCP-9969's established behavioral pattern. The entity's complete immunity to conventional weaponry and its capacity for instantaneous, unexplained lethal retaliation were conclusively demonstrated.
>
> Directive 9969-Omega: Effective immediately, all active research and containment initiatives regarding SCP-9969 are suspended indefinitely. The entity is to be reclassified as Neutralized for operational purposes, with a standing order for passive observation and information suppression only. Direct engagement under any circumstances is strictly prohibited.
Excerpts of note:
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its anomalous abilities, the containment of SCP-9969 is currently impossible. All information about new manifestations is to be classified as Level 3.
Description: SCP-9969 was first documented on January 12, 1912, at Bellevue Hospital in New York City. The exact nature of SCP-9969 remains unclear: it may be an autonomous anomalous phenomenon or a sentient entity. For the purposes of this document, the latter hypothesis is assumed.
Despite its frail appearance and physical disability, SCP-9969 possesses superhuman physical strength. The entity appears to be incapable of speech; however, it can somehow mimic the sounds made by other people. This characteristic has earned it the designation "The Voiceless."
Addendum 9969-1: The "Voices of Fear" Phenomenon
SCP-9969 is known to select one or more individuals (designated SCP-9969-2) concurrently, triggering an anomalous event designated the "Voices of Fear." The event culminates in the termination of SCP-9969-2 via varied and precise methods.
Conclusion: The intervention resulted in three (3) Foundation casualties and zero deviation from SCP-9969's established behavioral pattern. The entity's complete immunity to conventional weaponry and its capacity for instantaneous, unexplained lethal retaliation were conclusively demonstrated.
Directive 9969-Omega: Effective immediately, all active research and containment initiatives regarding SCP-9969 are suspended indefinitely. The entity is to be reclassified as Neutralized for operational purposes, with a standing order for passive observation and information suppression only. Direct engagement under any circumstances is strictly prohibited.
User has no other forum activity and no edits. Permanently banned, PM sent. Mann, subtletea, Kufat, nico supporting.