Noting that 
Mr Cheese And Cheese (account age and site membership 255 days) recently coldposted the following page, which has multiple indicators of AI-generation: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-128423-j
Revision 0 retained; user later made two revisions to add tags (cognitohazard, joke, keter, memetic, scp) and add a rating module.
**Item #:** SCP-128423-J
**Object Class:** Keter
**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-128423-J manifests spontaneously in all Foundation cafeterias every Monday between 11:30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. All instances are to be catalogued, sealed, and stored in Cafeteria Containment Unit 3B.
Consumption outside of Monday lunch cycles is strictly prohibited unless under Level 4 Clearnace supervision. Microwave Unit 2C must remain operational and must not be cleaned, as residue appears to anchor SCP-128423-J temporal and memetic stability.
Personnel involved in consumption must complete form M-23 “Pre-Consumption Existential Stability Inventory”, Wear gloves to prevent memetic contamination from cheese residue, avoid philosophical conversation about the futility of calendars outside containment zones and Consume only in the presence of at least one Level 3 staff member, presence of HR personnel recommended but optional.
**Description:** SCP-128423-J consists of a collection of cafeteria pizza slices. Physically identical to standard fare, SCP-128423-J differs by inducing anomalous memetic, temporal, and metaphysical effects.
Observed effects upon consumption include Immediate awareness of personal futility within organizational hierarchies Temporal distortions, weekends "blink" past, Mondays stretch infinitely, auditory hallucinations of fluorescent hums, microwave beeps, faint HR reminders, sighs of past selves, and occasional “ding” of distant copy machines, profound urge to update resumes, apologize to past selves, reflect on coffee choices.
Visual anomalies include cheese strands subtly shifting orientation toward observer, pepperoni forming non-Euclidean geometric patterns and levitating pizza sauce.
Mood swings ranging from mild existential dread to euphoric nihilism may also happen.
Extended exposure (≥3 Mondays) can result in Temporal Ennui Syndrome: involuntary sighing, repetitive spreadsheet corrections, mild omniscience, and occasional memetic contagion in adjacent personnel.
SCP-128423-J appears memetically contagious. Proximity, smell, or visual contact is sufficient to induce minor existential crises even without consumption. Attempts to replace SCP-128423-J with other food items (bagels, muffins, or garlic knots) may result in unpredictable metaphysical anomalies.
SCP-128423-J demonstrates temporal anchoring to Monday lunch cycles. Removal or destruction attempts outside this window result in spontaneous re-manifestation in cafeterias across all active Foundation sites.
SCP-128423-J can affect pepperoni that will casually behave as “sentient witness,” observing and subtly influencing staff decisions
Cheese may levitate and form spirals, serving as memetic amplifiers
Crusts may slightly phase in and out of reality, creating minor cognitive dissonance
**Addendum 1-A:** SCP-128423-J was first documented on ██/██/20██ at Site-19. Cafeteria staff discovered a box labeled “A Taste of Continuity” spontaneously appearing on a Monday. Five staff members immediately requested performance reviews and career counseling.
Attempts to discard the pizza were met with instant reappearance, suggesting SCP-128423-J is anchored to temporal cycles rather than physical space. Initial containment consisted of labeling the pizza **“Research Material – Do Not Eat”**, which temporarily mitigated memetic effects until the following Monday.
>
> **Procedure 12-B “The Pizza Liturgy”**
>
> 1. Gather 3–5 participants who have accepted Monday’s inevitability.
> 2. Place SCP-128423-J slices in Microwave Unit 2C.
> 3. Press **START** without selecting a time, the microwave autonomously calculates “adequate reheating of regret.”
> 4. Participants chant: “Heat our choices, unevenly.
> Scorch our crusts as you scorch our souls.”
> 5. Retrieve slices when the microwave beeps.
> 6. Consume in silence while reflecting on the futility of calendars.
> 7. Log emotional outcome on Form M-24.
>
> Deviations from the chant may produce:
>
> * Self-replicating cheese strands
> * Post-it notes will appear with phrases such as *“Check your dreams again”*
> * Minor temporal loops
> * Spontaneous metaphysical HR emails appearing in Outlook
>
>
> **Class-D Personal Notes after consuming SCP-128423-J:**
>
> **D-9842:** “The cheese… watched me. It blinked. Every bite felt like a life review. Mondays aren’t real. Only crust.”
>
> **D-7511:** “I tried eating the crust first, but the crust ate me. I now understand the futility of filing reports.”
>
> **D-1122:** “Extra cheese made it worse... I cried for 14 minutes and answered three unanswered emails in my head.”
>
> **D-4531:** “Pepperoni stared into my soul. I saw the spreadsheet of my ancestors regrets.”
>
> **D-8801::** “I realized that the napkin was judging me... I now fear flat surfaces.”
>
> **D-2174:** “The crust whispered my failures... I can never eat normal pizza again. I feel judged by the cheese.”
>
> **D-4323:** “I stared into the pepperoni. It stared back. I answered emails in my head I didn’t even know I had...”
>
> **D-9274:** “Napkins phase. I can’t stop thinking about the napkins. Everything is a napkin now...”
>
[[table style="border-collapse:collapse; max-width: 600px;"]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="font-weight:bold;padding: .3em .7em; text-align: center; border: 1px solid black; background-color: silver; width: 20%;"]]
**Experiment Logs 2-M**
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="font-weight:bold; padding: .3em .7em; text-align: center; border: 1px solid black; background-color: silver;"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; padding: .3em .7em; border: 1px solid black"]]
01
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Standard Monday slice. Baseline dread, mild sighing, morale unchanged
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; padding: .3em .7em; border: 1px solid black"]]
02
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Air fryer reheating. hope replaces dread, minor temporal distortion, slight reality dread
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; border: 1px solid black"]]
03
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Tuesday consumption. Slice demanifested mid-bite, taste of lost opportunity
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]
--------------------------------------------
[[table style="border-collapse:collapse; max-width: 600px;"]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="font-weight:bold;padding: .3em .7em; text-align: center; border: 1px solid black; background-color: silver; width: 20%;"]]
**Experiment Logs 3-M**
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="font-weight:bold; padding: .3em .7em; text-align: center; border: 1px solid black; background-color: silver;"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; padding: .3em .7em; border: 1px solid black"]]
04
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Pineapple topping. Temporal loop collapse, cafeteria clock advanced 1 min per sigh
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; padding: .3em .7em; border: 1px solid black"]]
05
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Microwaving upsite down. Dread neutralized. slice normal, morale +0.6%
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; border: 1px solid black"]]
06
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Garlic knots. Minor metaphysical horror, staff questioned reality, 1 Class-D retired
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]
------------------------------------------------------
[[table style="border-collapse:collapse; max-width: 600px;"]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="font-weight:bold;padding: .3em .7em; text-align: center; border: 1px solid black; background-color: silver; width: 20%;"]]
**Experiment Logs 4-M**
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="font-weight:bold; padding: .3em .7em; text-align: center; border: 1px solid black; background-color: silver;"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; padding: .3em .7em; border: 1px solid black"]]
07
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Extra cheese. Cheese self-moved, minor memetic loops formed
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; padding: .3em .7em; border: 1px solid black"]]
08
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Vegan cheese. SCP split into α, β, γ, participants heard childhood inner monologues
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="text-align: center; border: 1px solid black"]]
09
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: .3em .7em;"]]
Conventional oven. Minimal dread, slight optimism, cafeteria clock lost 3 minutes
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]
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[[div style="border:solid 1px #999999; background:#f2f2c2; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]]
[[=]]
++++ **Notes – Cafeteria Anomalies**
1. Paper plates slide into alternate dimensions when dropped.
2. Pepperoni occasionally forms non-Euclidean geometric patterns.
3. Coffee cups align with local gravitational anomalies, SCP-128423-J may distort spacetime locally.
4. Intercom occasionally broadcasts “existential dread loops” that trap staff in metaphysical purgatory.
5. Napkins often adhere to the existential plane, removal may require pliers or ritual incantation.
6. Spoons may audibly sigh if used to stir soup alongside SCP-128423-J.
7. Reheating times are non-linear and may vary depending on participant dread levels.
-- **Cafeteria staff**
[[/=]]
[[/div]]
-----------------------------------------
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box
|author=Mr Cheese And Cheese]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]
Excerpts of note:
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-128423-J manifests spontaneously in all Foundation cafeterias every Monday between 11:30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. All instances are to be catalogued, sealed, and stored in Cafeteria Containment Unit 3B.
Personnel involved in consumption must complete form M-23 “Pre-Consumption Existential Stability Inventory”, Wear gloves to prevent memetic contamination from cheese residue, avoid philosophical conversation about the futility of calendars outside containment zones and Consume only in the presence of at least one Level 3 staff member, presence of HR personnel recommended but optional.
Description: SCP-128423-J consists of a collection of cafeteria pizza slices. Physically identical to standard fare, SCP-128423-J differs by inducing anomalous memetic, temporal, and metaphysical effects.
Observed effects upon consumption include Immediate awareness of personal futility within organizational hierarchies Temporal distortions, weekends "blink" past, Mondays stretch infinitely, auditory hallucinations of fluorescent hums, microwave beeps, faint HR reminders, sighs of past selves, and occasional “ding” of distant copy machines, profound urge to update resumes, apologize to past selves, reflect on coffee choices.
Visual anomalies include cheese strands subtly shifting orientation toward observer, pepperoni forming non-Euclidean geometric patterns and levitating pizza sauce.
SCP-128423-J appears memetically contagious. Proximity, smell, or visual contact is sufficient to induce minor existential crises even without consumption. Attempts to replace SCP-128423-J with other food items (bagels, muffins, or garlic knots) may result in unpredictable metaphysical anomalies.
Attempts to discard the pizza were met with instant reappearance, suggesting SCP-128423-J is anchored to temporal cycles rather than physical space. Initial containment consisted of labeling the pizza “Research Material – Do Not Eat”, which temporarily mitigated memetic effects until the following Monday.
Deviations from the chant may produce:
- Self-replicating cheese strands
- Post-it notes will appear with phrases such as *“Check your dreams again”*
- Minor temporal loops
- Spontaneous metaphysical HR emails appearing in Outlook
Notes – Cafeteria Anomalies
1. Paper plates slide into alternate dimensions when dropped.
[…]
6. Spoons may audibly sigh if used to stir soup alongside SCP-128423-J.
7. Reheating times are non-linear and may vary depending on participant dread levels.
— Cafeteria staff
User has a sandbox page here: https://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd which has noticeably different writing style:
SCP-8967 must kept in Sector-3 of Site-19 in a 10x10x4 English styled room without any windows or viewing points to it, any requested furniture by SCP-8967 must be delivered to him, addition to that no personal are permitted to take any photos of the Object, any other assets requested by SCP-8967 must be given to him immediately (ex : decrease or increase in room temperature or food).
Description: SCP-8967 appears to be a quite cheerful British lad, in a fancy mid 18-19th style British/French suit with a black top hat on him at all times that decorated with a lovely red rose on top of it.
SCP-8967 behavior is quite the cheerful one, he speaks a lot and mostly talks about all kinds of things, usually when he starts talking about an important topic or just simply about anything it can last from a few minutes to days, wich is of course annoys a lot of personal working with him.
User has no forum posts. Permanently banned, PM sent. Kufat, afto, Zoobeeny supported ban.
