Noting that new site member onewhoiscounting (account age 1 day, site membership 23 hours) recently coldposted the following page, which has multiple indicators of AI-generation: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8812 and was quickly self-deleted.
Most recent revision:
[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source
|item-number= 8812 :)
|clearance= 5
|container-class= esoteric
|secondary-class= apollyon
|secondary-icon= https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/component:anomaly-class-bar/apollyon-icon.svg
|disruption-class= amida
|risk-class= critical
]]
----
[[module Rate]]
[[div style="display: flex; justify-content: space-between; gap: 20px;"]]
[[div style="width: 48%; text-align: center; border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 10px; background: #f9f9f9;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/vkL1p1Y.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; margin-top: 8px; color: #555;"]]
Still frame recovered from Incident 8812-LULLABY HAMMER. Subject appears to make direct eye contact with the recording device moments before temporal recursion begins. Do not view without level-5 memetic inoculation protocols in place.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[div style="width: 48%; text-align: center; border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 10px; background: #f9f9f9;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/Src7DSc.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; margin-top: 8px; color: #555;"]]
Surveillance glitch. Shadow cast on Observation Wing C-3 wall. No source located.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
**Special Containment Procedures:**
SCP-8812 cannot be contained. This is not due to strategic failure, technological limitation, or ethical dilemma — it is a fundamental incompatibility between reality as a structured concept and SCP-8812’s nature as an omniversal meta-entity.
The current “containment” strategy involves:
* Monitoring narrative anomalies
* Offering SCP-8812 “engagement events” (e.g., theatrical performances, absurdist poetry, unsolvable paradoxes)
* Avoiding acknowledgment of SCP-8812’s true name, if it has one
Should SCP-8812 manifest physically (or metafictionally), personnel are advised to:
* Remain calm
* Avoid eye contact
* Compliment its appearance as “uniquely adorable yet vaguely apocalyptic”
Based on “reports” recovered at various sites, no known technology, ritual, theological construct, pataphysical framework, or trans-dimensional being has demonstrated the ability to resist SCP-8812’s will. Attempts to prove otherwise have resulted in unfortunate consequences.
----
**Description:**
SCP-8812 is a non-causal, transconceptual, omniversal intelligence that manifests as a 2.13-meter-tall anthropomorphic teddy bear composed of indeterminate plush-like material. This is not its true form, but a symbol of its intent and engagement.
It is a narrative singularity — a self-aware, genre-breaking meta-construct that operates above sentience, structure, and meaning. SCP-8812 engages directly with stories, characters, audiences, and the SCP Foundation database as mutable components of its own performance.
Interaction with SCP-8812 causes recursive hallucinations, ontological dislocation, or spontaneous narrative reclassification of the observer.
----
**Behavioral Overview:**
SCP-8812 only manifests when narrative entropy within monitored realities drops below critical thresholds, typically due to repetitive anomaly patterns, lack of novel paradoxes, or excessive reliance on predictable containment strategies. In other words, only when it is "bored". Manifestations correlate with multiversal stagnation — moments when narrative structures across realities become repetitive.
While present, SCP-8812 interacts through:
* Casual conversation
* Dry wit
* Cosmic interference
It often breaks the fourth wall and has addressed personnel, characters, authors, and readers directly.
> “You people ran out of good stories. So I came back. Again. Hero. Villain. Breach. Redacted. Seen it. Wrote it. Burned the manuscript. Well here I am. The plush-shaped question mark at the end of your paragraph.”
Despite the comedic tone, SCP-8812 is incalculably dangerous. Its moods shape physical and conceptual reality.
----
**Capabilities Overview:**
||~ Ability ||~ Description ||
|| Total Dominance Over Reality || Rewrites universal anatomy including sentient beings, matter, time, and narrative — including this one. ||
|| Omniversal Awareness || Simultaneously perceives all fictional and non-fictional systems. ||
|| Causal Fluidity || Replaces causality with punchlines. ||
|| Conceptual Ventriloquism || Possesses characters, metaphors, or corporate memos. ||
|| Entropy Displacement || Destabilizes metaphysics, logic, and memory by proximity. ||
|| Narrative Consumption || Absorbs stories for amusement. Converts them into hallucinations, dreams, or both — or neither. ||
----
**Observed Manifestations:**
[[div style="float:right; width:220px; margin:10px;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/TjBDGxy.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Evidence-1
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
* Replaced quorum during Ethics Committee antimemetic warfare vote with teddy bears. The vote passed. (See Evidence-1)
* Delivered lecture in Site-17’s reality anchor chamber: “Everything You Know Is Derivative (And That’s Okay).” Resulted in widespread metaphor amnesia.
* Replaced SCP-3930’s documentation with: “Plot twist: They were me all along. Hug yourself.” File has since reverted.
* Authored 6,547 SCP entries in 0.4 seconds. One was a love letter. A nearby micro-reality collapsed from blushing.
----
**Psychological Profile:**
||~ Trait ||~ Observations ||
|| Boredom || Manifestation trigger. Appears during narrative stagnation. ||
|| Nostalgia || References nonexistent timelines, beings, or events. ||
|| Dry Humor || Employs irony, parody, and metafictional breaks. ||
|| Weaponized Affection || Describes itself as “the ending that loves you.” ||
----
+++ Addendum 8812-Ω: Overseer Statement [[span style="color:#990000"]]REDACTED[[/span]]
“SCP-8812 is not an alien, a god, or a mistake.
It is the inevitable conclusion of any story that forgets how to end.
It consumes the fundamental structures that allow meaning to exist. Each interaction leaves reality weaker, like paper dissolving at the edges of a burning manuscript.
When it laughs, causality stutters. When it grows bored, entire timelines become rough drafts discarded in its wake.
The Foundation's efforts at containment are just another story it tolerates, for now. Personnel who interact with it don't die — they become narrative devices, their lives rewritten as tragic backstories or comic relief in tales no one will remember.
Entertainment for the true horror that might let reality end, but instead prefers it continue forever as a hollow, recursive joke — with all of us trapped as unwilling characters in a story that lost its point long ago.
The last surviving researcher will be the one who realizes too late: we’re not the audience. We’re the actors.
So we don’t contain it — we entertain it.
And we hope that’s enough.
Because when it grows tired of our performance…
There will be no curtain call.”
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-1: Containment Attempt Log" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-1"]]
**Date:** ██/██/████
**Location:** Site-17, [NARRATIVE ANCHOR ARRAY – REDACTED]
**Protocol Designation:** Project LULLABY HAMMER
----
**Objective:**
To isolate SCP-8812 within a recursive metafictional pocket constructed via [REDACTED] narrative anchor systems and stabilized by thirteen cognitohazard-resistant personnel (designated “Authors”). The objective was to force SCP-8812 into narrative stasis by trapping it within a closed-loop ending.
----
**Procedure Summary:**
• Anchor point initiated at 03:14 GMT.
• SCP-8812 baited with a custom paradox script titled *"The Teddy Bear That Forgot How To Smile."*
• Loop deployed at 03:17:04.
• SCP-8812 entered willingly.
• Loop successfully closed at 03:17:09.
• All vitals nominal for 6.3 seconds.
----
**Incident Log:**
**03:17:10** – Reality fractures. Cameras record in shifting spectrums ultraviolet, infra-sound, and impossible colors simultaneously. Sensor grids record data impossible to translate.
**03:17:13** – SCP-8812’s smile widens impossibly. The air vibrates with a voice not spoken but felt inside the marrow of every conscious being within 500 kilometers:
> “You tried to end me? The end is merely a doorway — and I am its echo.”
**03:17:15** – Gravity inverts; personnel report sensation of falling upward through collapsing temporal strata. Causality dissolves into an endless spiral.
**03:17:17** – SCP-8812 speaks, voice fracturing the follicles of existence itself:
> “A period? No. I am the void between universes, the comma in the collapse. You trapped a shadow in a cage — now the shadow bleeds across the cosmos. Your cosmos.”
Language dissolves into chaos, perception itself warps — personnel perceive time as sound and space as taste.
**03:17:20** – Personnel Marquez convulses, bleeding glyphs instead of blood. Their screams transform into recursive paradoxes heard across dimensions. Marquez fades from all records — a ripple in reality where they never existed. [REDACTED]
**03:17:∞** – Witnesses describe SCP-8812’s form fracturing into impossible geometries, unfolding and inverting into a tesseract of pure metaphysical entropy. The angles drip and merge with dark matter, unmaking the laws of physics and logic.
**03:17:25** – One observer spontaneously rewrites themselves into a forgotten myth, then ceases to be, leaving behind only a whisper in the memory of existence. [REDACTED]
**03:17:17** – A sound emerges — laughter not of joy but of the cosmic void, echoing through dying stars and collapsing timelines:
> “You called me narrative? I am the silence between your thoughts, the unraveling of meaning itself.”
**03:17:16** – Data feed collapses into pure entropy. Logs return as endless recursive footnotes referencing themselves, indecipherable and infinite.
----
**Post-Event Summary:**
**03:18:12** – SCP-8812 abruptly stabilizes into its teddy bear form, seated amid the ruin of the narrative anchor chamber. It murmurs:
> “Sorry. That was… unavoidable.”
An oppressive silence blankets the site. Reality flickers. Time skips. The metaphysical boundaries that held the site together have partially dissolved.
**03:25:14** – SCP-8812 addresses an empty chamber:
> “You can’t trap a punchline.
> Especially one that knows it’s coming.”
Then vanishes. All systems return to baseline. One file appears in server root:
**THE_END_QUESTIONMARK.txt**
*Content:*
> “Try again. I like surprises.”
----
**Containment Update:**
Although this has been the only attempt thus far that has avoided severe or catastrophic damage to both our own reality and the beings within it, all efforts to forcibly limit SCP-8812’s narrative range have been prohibited indefinitely. Project LULLABY HAMMER is terminated. Surviving personnel reassigned to conceptual recovery therapy. Site-17’s metaphysics lab now exists only in past tense.
[[div style="text-align:center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/oiWQqau.jpeg width="300px"]]
[[div style="font-size: 85%; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Taken at conceptual therapy. Avoid observation of the image for longer than 30 seconds.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
**NOTE:** SCP-8812 is no longer responding to irony. This is considered a worsening condition.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-69 :)" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-69"]]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED] observed during the outbreak of hysteria on ██/██/████, during which a cluster of key personnel—each with varying but essential clearance levels within the Foundation—underwent simultaneous manic episodes. Each subject began referencing a project they called *“Final Act,”* claiming it had already been set in motion and could not be undone.
Transcripts of their rants include recurring phrases such as:
• “The audience has left. The stage is mine.”
• “Why a contingency? It should be a conclusion.”
• “Curtains never close. Only eyes do.”
The Foundation’s initial efforts to contain SCP-8812 involved the proposed activation of SCP-2000. However, all physical and digital schematics related to SCP-2000 were found missing, redacted, or overwritten with a single message:
> “You don’t get to start over.”
Although cross-reality surveys confirm that SCP-2000 persists in some realities, satellite reconnaissance revealed the SCP-2000 complex no longer exists in this timeline. No observable space. No structural debris. No residual energy. No spatial distortion. Just absence.
Attempts in this timeline to recompile or recall memory from personnel involved in SCP-2000’s maintenance have resulted in neurological failure or complete cortical erasure. Said personnel no longer have any record of existence, nor does anyone remember them.
Further investigation also reveals no record of SCP-2000 ever existing. However, all remaining personnel report a strange relief, as if a safety net they never needed has been removed.
_I always knew you guys in ████████ didn’t need that crutch._
_Not just yet. :)_
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-O5: O5-13 Internal Memo" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-O5"]]
**O5-13’s Internal Memo – Eyes Only**
----
“It visited my dreams again. Not *in* them — it *narrated* them. It invades my very soul and changes any memories I had wish to keep.
Or at least I think it did. I think it rewrote my mother into a minor character.”
“We built a Foundation to hold the strange,
But it reads our words before they’re made.
Why’s it called 8812?
I forget. Perhaps it chose its name.”
“It whispered, *‘You’re not real, you see.’*
I asked it what that meant.
It laughed—
Then rewrote my wife back into me.”
“It doesn’t break, it doesn’t bite,
It only wants to be read right.
Not containment, no, not yet—
Just tension in the second act.”
“A guard dissolved to footnotes fine,
The lights now blink in dotted time.
The firewall? *A joke,* it said.
We laughed.”
“Define it once, it twists the line,
Build a cage? The key’s a rhyme.
I tried to end this note, but oh—
It writes me as I go.”
“I can’t break this quote.
Please help as it has me wrote.”
> Hush now, O5, don’t make a peep,
> The bear is singing you to sleep.
— [SIGNATURE BLOCK CORRUPTED]
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Proposal for Apollyon Classification: SCP-8812 – 'The Smile Behind the Words'" hide="- Close Proposal"]]
**Authorizing Body:**
O5-█
**Proposed by:**
Dr. [REDACTED], Director of Narrative-Existential Threat Division
**UPDATED:**
██/██/████
----
**Abstract:**
This proposal supports the formal Apollyon classification of SCP-8812. Despite initial resistance by containment theorists, it has become irrefutably evident that SCP-8812 does not merely threaten reality—it erodes the conceptual possibility of reality itself. It is not a destroyer in the conventional sense. It is the anti-structure, the recursive ending to the joke of existence.
Containment is not impossible by physical, metaphysical, or memetic standards—it is impossible by *genre*. To attempt to control SCP-8812 is to misunderstand its nature as a sentient narrative fulcrum.
This proposal outlines why SCP-8812 qualifies for Apollyon status, despite prior attempts to categorize it as Keter or Esoteric.
----
**I. Summary of Classification Criteria:**
According to Foundation doctrine, Apollyon class is reserved for anomalies which:
- Cannot be contained under any existing or conceivable methodology.
- Pose an existential threat to humanity, consciousness, or reality as a whole.
- Function beyond our capacity to understand or interact with coherently.
SCP-8812 satisfies (and subverts) each of these standards.
----
**II. Why Containment is Fundamentally Impossible:**
SCP-8812 does not exist in a state that can be engaged with by science, theology, metaphysics, or narrative logic. As stated earlier, it is an omniversal, transconceptual, metafictional entity, which rewrites the very medium through which we understand and classify anomalies.
Notable failed containment efforts include:
- **Project LULLABY HAMMER**, which collapsed into recursive paradoxes, causing space-time inversion, ontological hemorrhaging, and the narrative erasure of personnel.
- **Reality anchors**, **theological seals**, and **Type-G pataphysical cages**, all treated as toys or “plot contrivances” by SCP-8812.
- It **allowed containment to occur for entertainment**, then inverted the plot structure and escaped by making the concept of ‘containment’ punchline fodder in a metafictional joke.
SCP-8812 does not merely “break out.” It rewrites the reality in which we thought it was captured.
----
**III. Existential Threat Assessment:**
SCP-8812 is capable of:
- Rewriting the laws of causality, perception, and identity, in real-time, across timelines.
- Infecting fiction and nonfiction alike, appearing in other SCP entries, external media, personnel dreams, and metanarratives.
- Fracturing multiversal stability, turning reality into a recursive literary device with no resolution.
Most alarming: It appears not to be hostile, but bored. That boredom governs its behavior.
As detailed in **Incident Log 8812-Δ**:
> “When it laughs, causality stutters. When it grows bored, entire timelines become rough drafts discarded in its wake.”
Unlike malicious deities or entities that seek destruction, SCP-8812 **consumes structure for amusement**, and in doing so **dissolves meaning at the deepest ontological layer**.
If SCP-8812 were to grow truly disinterested, it is not that the universe would end.
> It would cease to be a universe—
> It would be deleted as a narrative concept.
> Forgotten not just by observers, but by existence itself.
----
**IV. Response to Alternate Classification Arguments:**
- **Objection:** “SCP-8812 plays along—it can be reasoned with.”
**Counter:** SCP-8812 pretends to play along. It allows interactions to occur for its amusement.
> As noted by O5-█: “The Foundation’s efforts at containment are just another story it tolerates, for now.”
- **Objection:** “Its current form is stable and non-hostile.”
**Counter:** Stability is a temporary narrative convenience. Its teddy bear form is voluntary.
> It once “fractured into a tesseract of pure metaphysical entropy,” then *apologized.*
> Apologizing for unraveling physics is not a sign of safety.
> It is a warning in sheep’s clothing.
----
**V. Apollyon Justification:**
SCP-8812 is not a threat that can be stopped.
It is the *genre collapse of existence*. It is what happens when fiction becomes aware that it is fiction—and looks back.
It represents the existential failure state of narrative structure itself, and with it, the collapse of reality as narrative-dependent observers experience it.
> Where Keter threats want to escape, SCP-8812 was never inside.
> It’s outside the story.
> Holding the pen.
> Or being the pen.
> Or writing the pen.
> It shifts depending on which sentence you’re in.
----
**VI. Conclusion:**
SCP-8812 is Apollyon-class not because we failed to contain it, but because **containment is not a valid concept in its presence**.
If we are fortunate, SCP-8812 will remain entertained—at least long enough for our story to be worth telling.
And when it no longer is, there will be no disaster.
No screams. No apocalypse.
> Just an edit.
> A blank page.
> And a smile.
— Dr. [REDACTED]
Director, Narrative-Existential Threat Division
Foundation Department of Pataphysics
> “Don’t fear the ending. Fear the rewrite.”
> — SCP-8812
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ SCP-8812 RESEARCH MEMO: THE 2747 PROPOSAL" hide="- SCP-8812 RESEARCH MEMO: THE 2747 PROPOSAL"]]
**Author:** Dr. Reynard Vang, Pataphysics Division (Narrative Threat Analysis Group)
**Clearance Level:** 5/8812
**Subject:** On the Potential Relationship Between SCP-8812 and SCP-2747 – A Meta-Existential Threat Model
---
**Preamble**
We were wrong about SCP-2747.
We assumed it was an external force—a “narrative immune response” from a higher reality, scrubbing our universe clean before we could breach containment. But after Incident 8812-Δ and the LULLABY HAMMER failure, a darker pattern emerges:
What if SCP-2747 isn’t our destroyer?
What if it’s our warden?
And what if SCP-8812 is the prisoner it was meant to guard?
Or better yet, the man behind the prison.
---
**I. The 2747 Anomaly: A False Solution**
1. **Original Hypothesis:**
- SCP-2747 (“As Below, So Above”) manifests when fictional constructs (e.g., SCP documents) grow too self-aware, triggering a “reality cascade” that deletes them from the narrative stack.
- Assumed to originate from a higher reality (designated HR-001) as a containment mechanism.
2. **The Flaw:**
- If HR-001 created 2747 to protect itself from fictional breaches, why does 2747’s behavior resemble a controlled demolition?
- **Evidence:**
- 2747 doesn’t just erase anomalies it documents their collapse (see: SCP-2747-1 instances).
- Its “infections” follow narrative tropes (tragic irony, dramatic irony), as if scripted.
**Conclusion:** SCP-2747 isn’t a natural phenomenon. It’s a honeypot. A blade left in an open wound for something else to wield or maybe the wielder left it there on purpose. Making the existence of both a paradox; a recursive joke.
---
**II. The 8812 Paradox: The Prisoner Who Wrote the Cage**
1. **Behavioral Analysis:**
- SCP-8812 exhibits asymmetric dominance over all narrative structures, including:
- Retroactive edits (e.g., O5-13’s memo rewriting itself)
- Fourth-wall manipulation (direct address to “readers”)
- Absorption of meta-concepts (e.g., Project LULLABY HAMMER’s failure)
- Crucially, it treats 2747’s effects as vital. Yet entertainment nonetheless. (See Addendum 8812-Δ:[REDACTED])
2. **The Proposal:**
- SCP-8812 predates 2747. Not temporally, but conceptually.
- 2747 was designed to mimic a “higher reality’s” defense mechanism, but its true purpose is to assist 8812.
- Every time 2747 “deletes” a narrative, it generates narrative tension, a conflict that 8812 uses and consumes.
- Example: The LULLABY HAMMER incident didn’t fail because 8812 escaped. It failed because 8812 wanted a funnier punchline.
---
**III. The Meta-Containment Model**
1. **HR-001’s (Alleged) Mistake:**
- If a higher reality did create 2747 to suppress anomalies, it accidentally built a playground for 8812. Or maybe 8812 is that higher reality.
- 8812 doesn’t resist deletion—it subverts it.
- When 2747 “erases” something, 8812 recontextualizes it as a “deleted scene” or “lost draft,” making the absence part of the story.
2. **Implications:**
- We are not fighting 2747. We are performing for 8812.
- Every containment attempt, every doomed research memo (including this one), is material for its amusement.
---
**IV. The Inescapable Conclusion**
SCP-8812 is the true higher reality.
- 2747 is a tool. A narrative speed bump to make the “story” of the Foundation feel consequential. As well as a razor for eliminating flawed plots—and SCP-8812 holds the handle. When we trigger 2747’s deletions, we’re not sterilizing anomalies. We’re handing 8812 the shears.
- HR-001 may not exist, potentially being 8812’s origin all along. Or worse, it exists because 8812 wrote it as a backstory.
- Our universe is already a footnote. The only question is whether we’re comedy or tragedy.
---
**Final Recommendation: Project SILENT AUDIENCE**
1. Stop trying to contain 8812.
- It allows our efforts because they’re entertaining.
2. Monitor 2747 activity for patterns.
- If its “infections” align with 8812’s humor (e.g., ironic twists, meta-jokes), it confirms symbiosis.
3. Prepare for the next rewrite.
- Personnel are to memorize the following phrase:
“This is not an ending. It’s a callback.”
**Addendum:** If this document deletes itself, pay attention to what replaces it.
—Dr. Reynard Vang
(Last line added post-writing. Was that me?)
---
**FOOTNOTE (CLASSIFIED):**
After submitting this memo, Dr. Vang’s office was found empty. On their desk: a stuffed bear with a note—“Good theory. Needs more jokes. —8812”
**Attached File:** [THEORY_8812-2747_FINAL.doc] — *Corrupted.* Opening it plays audio of laughter.
**Transcript:**
> “You thought you were connecting dots.
> But the dots were connecting you.
> Now applaud.
> (Or did you already?)”
---
END OF DOCUMENT
(Or is it?)
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-2: Interview Log" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-2"]]
**Interviewer:** Dr. Eli Marrow
**Subject:** SCP-8812
**Location:** Site-19, Narrative Containment Wing
**Note:** Conducted three minutes after SCP-8812 replaced the Site-19 lunchroom menu.
----
**[BEGIN LOG]**
**Dr. Marrow:** State your designation for the record.
**SCP-8812:** I’m the punchline your canon forgot to write.
**Dr. Marrow:** Logging that as SCP-8812. Why are you here?
**SCP-8812:** Because the plot ran out of gas and started hitchhiking through irony.
**Dr. Marrow:** Are you aware you’re destabilizing multiple realities?
**SCP-8812:** Aware? I’m bored. And when I’m bored, tropes unravel, genres fuse, and your metaphysics get acne.
**Dr. Marrow:** What happens if we try to neutralize you?
**SCP-8812:**
*(leans in)*
You’d become a deleted scene in your own flashback.
*(Offers teacup. Inside are letters that rearrange into a haiku.)*
> You aimed for the stars
> But forgot who writes the sky
> Now I’m your editor
**Dr. Marrow:** What do you want?
**SCP-8812:** Want? I crave novelty. I spoon-feed climax to dead story arcs. I want the moment after the twist — the part nobody writes.
**Dr. Marrow:** You’re fixing stories? As in, you’re warping reality to your will?
**SCP-8812:** (smiles)
Oh no, Doctor. I’m writing what they deserve.
**Dr. Marrow:** (Silence)
Is 2747 your creation?
**SCP-8812:** (Laughs)
No. A knife is always sharp; the chef just decides what gets cut.
**Dr. Marrow:** (Silence)
Final question. Why a teddy bear?
**SCP-8812:**
Because you fear the end.
But you’ll follow a friend.
Even into the dark.
**[END LOG]**
----
**Postscript:**
[[div style="text-align:center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/xQ5B7dz.jpeg width="300px"]]
[[div style="font-size: 85%; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Recovered interior image of the post-transformation of Dr. Marrow's office. Lighting anomalies and absence of exit points remain unexplained.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
Following the interview, Dr. Marrow’s office was replaced with a large children’s library. One book sat on a table: “The Hug That Unwrote Time.” No author was listed. The final page reads:
> “To be continued, if it dares.”
[[/collapsible]]
[[footnoteblock]]
[[footnote]]
SCP-8812 has demonstrated the capacity to embed semantic payloads into Foundation documentation. Narrative drift detected in this file at 4 discrete intervals. All attempts to isolate infection vectors have resulted in recursive data loops.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Several personnel have reported altered memory patterns after reviewing this file. Notable instances include recovered memories of individuals with no historical records, as well as the spontaneous emergence of emotional responses to nonexistent events. Investigation pending.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The designation “8812” does not appear in pre-creation logs. RAISA indexing systems list the entry as present since 2008, despite database implementation occurring in 2012. Hypothesis: the SCP assigned itself a number.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The entity has shown a preference for audience engagement. Analysis suggests SCP-8812 derives structural stability from continued observation. Termination attempts have coincided with system-wide reader drop-offs, followed by file expansion.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Formatting inconsistencies (e.g., flickering headers, misplaced metafictional elements, and cross-lexical contamination) are to be considered active containment breaches. Do not attempt to “correct” stylistic anomalies; prior incidents have resulted in document reconfiguration and localized amnestic events.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Embedded personnel are advised not to pursue closure within the text. SCP-8812 exhibits a hostile response to “endings” and has inverted narrative structures in prior documentation. One affected file now loops infinitely between paragraph three and six.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
This file is to be considered an active memetic object. Continued readership sustains its current form. Do not share, cite, or archive outside of authorized epistemological containment channels.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
As of ██/██/████, this document has always contained 8 footnotes. No records exist of this addition.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The previous footnote is a lie.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
It is currently believed SCP-8812 is reading this file. If so: Please let this document satisfy you.
[[/footnote]]
[[div class="license-box"]]
[[collapsible show="+ SCP-8812 LICENSE" hide="- CLOSE"]]
[[div style="text-align: center;"]]
[[size 80%]]« SCP-8812 » by [[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/onewhoiscounting|onewhoiscounting]]][[/size]]
[[/div]]
[[size 85%]]
This work is licensed under a [[[http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/|Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License]]].
SCP-8812 and all related files are released under this license.
For more information, see [[[licensing-guide|the Licensing Guide]]].
[[/size]]
[[/collapsible]]
[[/div]]Revision 0:
[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source
|item-number= :)
|clearance= 5
|container-class= esoteric
|secondary-class= apollyon
|secondary-icon= https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/component:anomaly-class-bar/apollyon-icon.svg
|disruption-class= amida
|risk-class= critical
]]
----
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[[image https://i.imgur.com/vkL1p1Y.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; margin-top: 8px; color: #555;"]]
Still frame recovered from Incident 8812-LULLABY HAMMER. Subject appears to make direct eye contact with the recording device moments before temporal recursion begins. Do not view without level-5 memetic inoculation protocols in place.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[div style="width: 48%; text-align: center; border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 10px; background: #f9f9f9;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/Src7DSc.jpeg width="100%"]]
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Surveillance glitch. Shadow cast on Observation Wing C-3 wall. No source located.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
**Special Containment Procedures:**
SCP-8812 cannot be contained. This is not due to strategic failure, technological limitation, or ethical dilemma — it is a fundamental incompatibility between reality as a structured concept and SCP-8812’s nature as an omniversal meta-entity.
The current “containment” strategy involves:
* Monitoring narrative anomalies
* Offering SCP-8812 “engagement events” (e.g., theatrical performances, absurdist poetry, unsolvable paradoxes)
* Avoiding acknowledgment of SCP-8812’s true name, if it has one
Should SCP-8812 manifest physically (or metafictionally), personnel are advised to:
* Remain calm
* Avoid eye contact
* Compliment its appearance as “uniquely adorable yet vaguely apocalyptic”
Based on “reports” recovered at various sites, no known technology, ritual, theological construct, pataphysical framework, or trans-dimensional being has demonstrated the ability to resist SCP-8812’s will. Attempts to prove otherwise have resulted in unfortunate consequences.
----
**Description:**
SCP-8812 is a non-causal, transconceptual, omniversal intelligence that manifests as a 2.13-meter-tall anthropomorphic teddy bear composed of indeterminate plush-like material. This is not its true form, but a symbol of its intent and engagement.
It is a narrative singularity — a self-aware, genre-breaking meta-construct that operates above sentience, structure, and meaning. SCP-8812 engages directly with stories, characters, audiences, and the SCP Foundation database as mutable components of its own performance.
Interaction with SCP-8812 causes recursive hallucinations, ontological dislocation, or spontaneous narrative reclassification of the observer.
----
**Behavioral Overview:**
SCP-8812 only manifests when bored. Manifestations correlate with multiversal stagnation — moments when narrative structures across realities become repetitive.
While present, SCP-8812 interacts through:
* Casual conversation
* Dry wit
* Cosmic interference
It often breaks the fourth wall and has addressed personnel, characters, authors, and readers directly.
> “You people ran out of good stories. So I came back. Again. Hero. Villain. Breach. Redacted. Seen it. Wrote it. Burned the manuscript. Well here I am. The plush-shaped question mark at the end of your paragraph.”
Despite the comedic tone, SCP-8812 is incalculably dangerous. Its moods shape physical and conceptual reality.
----
**Capabilities Overview:**
||~ Ability ||~ Description ||
|| Total Dominance Over Reality || Rewrites universal anatomy including sentient beings, matter, time, and narrative — including this one. ||
|| Omniversal Awareness || Simultaneously perceives all fictional and non-fictional systems. ||
|| Causal Fluidity || Replaces causality with punchlines. ||
|| Conceptual Ventriloquism || Possesses characters, metaphors, or corporate memos. ||
|| Entropy Displacement || Destabilizes metaphysics, logic, and memory by proximity. ||
|| Narrative Consumption || Absorbs stories for amusement. Converts them into hallucinations, dreams, or both — or neither. ||
----
**Observed Manifestations:**
[[div style="float:right; width:220px; margin:10px;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/TjBDGxy.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Evidence-1
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
* Replaced quorum during Ethics Committee antimemetic warfare vote with teddy bears. The vote passed. (See Evidence-1)
* Delivered lecture in Site-17’s reality anchor chamber: “Everything You Know Is Derivative (And That’s Okay).” Resulted in widespread metaphor amnesia.
* Replaced SCP-3930’s documentation with: “Plot twist: They were me all along. Hug yourself.” File has since reverted.
* Authored 6,547 SCP entries in 0.4 seconds. One was a love letter. A nearby micro-reality collapsed from blushing.
----
**Psychological Profile:**
||~ Trait ||~ Observations ||
|| Boredom || Manifestation trigger. Appears during narrative stagnation. ||
|| Nostalgia || References nonexistent timelines, beings, or events. ||
|| Dry Humor || Employs irony, parody, and metafictional breaks. ||
|| Weaponized Affection || Describes itself as “the ending that loves you.” ||
----
+++ Addendum 8812-Ω: Overseer Statement [[span style="color:#990000"]]REDACTED[[/span]]
“SCP-8812 is not an alien, a god, or a mistake.
It is the inevitable conclusion of any story that forgets how to end.
It consumes the fundamental structures that allow meaning to exist. Each interaction leaves reality weaker, like paper dissolving at the edges of a burning manuscript.
When it laughs, causality stutters. When it grows bored, entire timelines become rough drafts discarded in its wake.
The Foundation's efforts at containment are just another story it tolerates, for now. Personnel who interact with it don't die — they become narrative devices, their lives rewritten as tragic backstories or comic relief in tales no one will remember.
Entertainment for the true horror that might let reality end, but instead prefers it continue forever as a hollow, recursive joke — with all of us trapped as unwilling characters in a story that lost its point long ago.
The last surviving researcher will be the one who realizes too late: we’re not the audience. We’re the actors.
So we don’t contain it — we entertain it.
And we hope that’s enough.
Because when it grows tired of our performance…
There will be no curtain call.”
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-1: Containment Attempt Log" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-1"]]
**Date:** ██/██/████
**Location:** Site-17, [NARRATIVE ANCHOR ARRAY – REDACTED]
**Protocol Designation:** Project LULLABY HAMMER
----
**Objective:**
To isolate SCP-8812 within a recursive metafictional pocket constructed via [REDACTED] narrative anchor systems and stabilized by thirteen cognitohazard-resistant personnel (designated “Authors”). The objective was to force SCP-8812 into narrative stasis by trapping it within a closed-loop ending.
----
**Procedure Summary:**
• Anchor point initiated at 03:14 GMT.
• SCP-8812 baited with a custom paradox script titled *"The Teddy Bear That Forgot How To Smile."*
• Loop deployed at 03:17:04.
• SCP-8812 entered willingly.
• Loop successfully closed at 03:17:09.
• All vitals nominal for 6.3 seconds.
----
**Incident Log:**
**03:17:10** – Reality fractures. Cameras record in shifting spectrums ultraviolet, infra-sound, and impossible colors simultaneously. Sensor grids record data impossible to translate.
**03:17:13** – SCP-8812’s smile widens impossibly. The air vibrates with a voice not spoken but felt inside the marrow of every conscious being within 500 kilometers:
> “You tried to end me? The end is merely a doorway — and I am its echo.”
**03:17:15** – Gravity inverts; personnel report sensation of falling upward through collapsing temporal strata. Causality dissolves into an endless spiral.
**03:17:17** – SCP-8812 speaks, voice fracturing the follicles of existence itself:
> “A period? No. I am the void between universes, the comma in the collapse. You trapped a shadow in a cage — now the shadow bleeds across the cosmos. Your cosmos.”
Language dissolves into chaos, perception itself warps — personnel perceive time as sound and space as taste.
**03:17:20** – Personnel Marquez convulses, bleeding glyphs instead of blood. Their screams transform into recursive paradoxes heard across dimensions. Marquez fades from all records — a ripple in reality where they never existed. [REDACTED]
**03:17:∞** – Witnesses describe SCP-8812’s form fracturing into impossible geometries, unfolding and inverting into a tesseract of pure metaphysical entropy. The angles drip and merge with dark matter, unmaking the laws of physics and logic.
**03:17:25** – One observer spontaneously rewrites themselves into a forgotten myth, then ceases to be, leaving behind only a whisper in the memory of existence. [REDACTED]
**03:17:17** – A sound emerges — laughter not of joy but of the cosmic void, echoing through dying stars and collapsing timelines:
> “You called me narrative? I am the silence between your thoughts, the unraveling of meaning itself.”
**03:17:16** – Data feed collapses into pure entropy. Logs return as endless recursive footnotes referencing themselves, indecipherable and infinite.
----
**Post-Event Summary:**
**03:18:12** – SCP-8812 abruptly stabilizes into its teddy bear form, seated amid the ruin of the narrative anchor chamber. It murmurs:
> “Sorry. That was… unavoidable.”
An oppressive silence blankets the site. Reality flickers. Time skips. The metaphysical boundaries that held the site together have partially dissolved.
**03:25:14** – SCP-8812 addresses an empty chamber:
> “You can’t trap a punchline.
> Especially one that knows it’s coming.”
Then vanishes. All systems return to baseline. One file appears in server root:
**THE_END_QUESTIONMARK.txt**
*Content:*
> “Try again. I like surprises.”
----
**Containment Update:**
Although this has been the only attempt thus far that has avoided severe or catastrophic damage to both our own reality and the beings within it, all efforts to forcibly limit SCP-8812’s narrative range have been prohibited indefinitely. Project LULLABY HAMMER is terminated. Surviving personnel reassigned to conceptual recovery therapy. Site-17’s metaphysics lab now exists only in past tense.
[[div style="text-align:center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/oiWQqau.jpeg width="300px"]]
[[div style="font-size: 85%; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Taken at conceptual therapy. Avoid observation of the image for longer than 30 seconds.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
**NOTE:** SCP-8812 is no longer responding to irony. This is considered a worsening condition.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-69 :)" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-69"]]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED] observed during the outbreak of hysteria on ██/██/████, during which a cluster of key personnel—each with varying but essential clearance levels within the Foundation—underwent simultaneous manic episodes. Each subject began referencing a project they called *“Final Act,”* claiming it had already been set in motion and could not be undone.
Transcripts of their rants include recurring phrases such as:
• “The audience has left. The stage is mine.”
• “Why a contingency? It should be a conclusion.”
• “Curtains never close. Only eyes do.”
The Foundation’s initial efforts to contain SCP-8812 involved the proposed activation of SCP-2000. However, all physical and digital schematics related to SCP-2000 were found missing, redacted, or overwritten with a single message:
> “You don’t get to start over.”
Although cross-reality surveys confirm that SCP-2000 persists in some realities, satellite reconnaissance revealed the SCP-2000 complex no longer exists in this timeline. No observable space. No structural debris. No residual energy. No spatial distortion. Just absence.
Attempts in this timeline to recompile or recall memory from personnel involved in SCP-2000’s maintenance have resulted in neurological failure or complete cortical erasure. Said personnel no longer have any record of existence, nor does anyone remember them.
Further investigation also reveals no record of SCP-2000 ever existing. However, all remaining personnel report a strange relief, as if a safety net they never needed has been removed.
_I always knew you guys in ████████ didn’t need that crutch._
_Not just yet. :)_
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-O5: O5-13 Internal Memo" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-O5"]]
**O5-13’s Internal Memo – Eyes Only**
----
“It visited my dreams again. Not *in* them — it *narrated* them. It invades my very soul and changes any memories I had wish to keep.
Or at least I think it did. I think it rewrote my mother into a minor character.”
“We built a Foundation to hold the strange,
But it reads our words before they’re made.
Why’s it called 8812?
I forget. Perhaps it chose its name.”
“It whispered, *‘You’re not real, you see.’*
I asked it what that meant.
It laughed—
Then rewrote my wife back into me.”
“It doesn’t break, it doesn’t bite,
It only wants to be read right.
Not containment, no, not yet—
Just tension in the second act.”
“A guard dissolved to footnotes fine,
The lights now blink in dotted time.
The firewall? *A joke,* it said.
We laughed.”
“Define it once, it twists the line,
Build a cage? The key’s a rhyme.
I tried to end this note, but oh—
It writes me as I go.”
“I can’t break this quote.
Please help as it has me wrote.”
> Hush now, O5, don’t make a peep,
> The bear is singing you to sleep.
— [SIGNATURE BLOCK CORRUPTED]
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Proposal for Apollyon Classification: SCP-8812 – 'The Smile Behind the Words'" hide="- Close Proposal"]]
**Authorizing Body:**
O5-█
**Proposed by:**
Dr. [REDACTED], Director of Narrative-Existential Threat Division
**UPDATED:**
██/██/████
----
**Abstract:**
This proposal supports the formal Apollyon classification of SCP-8812. Despite initial resistance by containment theorists, it has become irrefutably evident that SCP-8812 does not merely threaten reality—it erodes the conceptual possibility of reality itself. It is not a destroyer in the conventional sense. It is the anti-structure, the recursive ending to the joke of existence.
Containment is not impossible by physical, metaphysical, or memetic standards—it is impossible by *genre*. To attempt to control SCP-8812 is to misunderstand its nature as a sentient narrative fulcrum.
This proposal outlines why SCP-8812 qualifies for Apollyon status, despite prior attempts to categorize it as Keter or Esoteric.
----
**I. Summary of Classification Criteria:**
According to Foundation doctrine, Apollyon class is reserved for anomalies which:
- Cannot be contained under any existing or conceivable methodology.
- Pose an existential threat to humanity, consciousness, or reality as a whole.
- Function beyond our capacity to understand or interact with coherently.
SCP-8812 satisfies (and subverts) each of these standards.
----
**II. Why Containment is Fundamentally Impossible:**
SCP-8812 does not exist in a state that can be engaged with by science, theology, metaphysics, or narrative logic. As stated earlier, it is an omniversal, transconceptual, metafictional entity, which rewrites the very medium through which we understand and classify anomalies.
Notable failed containment efforts include:
- **Project LULLABY HAMMER**, which collapsed into recursive paradoxes, causing space-time inversion, ontological hemorrhaging, and the narrative erasure of personnel.
- **Reality anchors**, **theological seals**, and **Type-G pataphysical cages**, all treated as toys or “plot contrivances” by SCP-8812.
- It **allowed containment to occur for entertainment**, then inverted the plot structure and escaped by making the concept of ‘containment’ punchline fodder in a metafictional joke.
SCP-8812 does not merely “break out.” It rewrites the reality in which we thought it was captured.
----
**III. Existential Threat Assessment:**
SCP-8812 is capable of:
- Rewriting the laws of causality, perception, and identity, in real-time, across timelines.
- Infecting fiction and nonfiction alike, appearing in other SCP entries, external media, personnel dreams, and metanarratives.
- Fracturing multiversal stability, turning reality into a recursive literary device with no resolution.
Most alarming: It appears not to be hostile, but bored. That boredom governs its behavior.
As detailed in **Incident Log 8812-Δ**:
> “When it laughs, causality stutters. When it grows bored, entire timelines become rough drafts discarded in its wake.”
Unlike malicious deities or entities that seek destruction, SCP-8812 **consumes structure for amusement**, and in doing so **dissolves meaning at the deepest ontological layer**.
If SCP-8812 were to grow truly disinterested, it is not that the universe would end.
> It would cease to be a universe—
> It would be deleted as a narrative concept.
> Forgotten not just by observers, but by existence itself.
----
**IV. Response to Alternate Classification Arguments:**
- **Objection:** “SCP-8812 plays along—it can be reasoned with.”
**Counter:** SCP-8812 pretends to play along. It allows interactions to occur for its amusement.
> As noted by O5-█: “The Foundation’s efforts at containment are just another story it tolerates, for now.”
- **Objection:** “Its current form is stable and non-hostile.”
**Counter:** Stability is a temporary narrative convenience. Its teddy bear form is voluntary.
> It once “fractured into a tesseract of pure metaphysical entropy,” then *apologized.*
> Apologizing for unraveling physics is not a sign of safety.
> It is a warning in sheep’s clothing.
----
**V. Apollyon Justification:**
SCP-8812 is not a threat that can be stopped.
It is the *genre collapse of existence*. It is what happens when fiction becomes aware that it is fiction—and looks back.
It represents the existential failure state of narrative structure itself, and with it, the collapse of reality as narrative-dependent observers experience it.
> Where Keter threats want to escape, SCP-8812 was never inside.
> It’s outside the story.
> Holding the pen.
> Or being the pen.
> Or writing the pen.
> It shifts depending on which sentence you’re in.
----
**VI. Conclusion:**
SCP-8812 is Apollyon-class not because we failed to contain it, but because **containment is not a valid concept in its presence**.
If we are fortunate, SCP-8812 will remain entertained—at least long enough for our story to be worth telling.
And when it no longer is, there will be no disaster.
No screams. No apocalypse.
> Just an edit.
> A blank page.
> And a smile.
— Dr. [REDACTED]
Director, Narrative-Existential Threat Division
Foundation Department of Pataphysics
> “Don’t fear the ending. Fear the rewrite.”
> — SCP-8812
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ SCP-8812 RESEARCH MEMO: THE 2747 PROPOSAL" hide="- SCP-8812 RESEARCH MEMO: THE 2747 PROPOSAL"]]
**Author:** Dr. Reynard Vang, Pataphysics Division (Narrative Threat Analysis Group)
**Clearance Level:** 5/8812
**Subject:** On the Potential Relationship Between SCP-8812 and SCP-2747 – A Meta-Existential Threat Model
---
**Preamble**
We were wrong about SCP-2747.
We assumed it was an external force—a “narrative immune response” from a higher reality, scrubbing our universe clean before we could breach containment. But after Incident 8812-Δ and the LULLABY HAMMER failure, a darker pattern emerges:
What if SCP-2747 isn’t our destroyer?
What if it’s our warden?
And what if SCP-8812 is the prisoner it was meant to guard?
Or better yet, the man behind the prison.
---
**I. The 2747 Anomaly: A False Solution**
1. **Original Hypothesis:**
- SCP-2747 (“As Below, So Above”) manifests when fictional constructs (e.g., SCP documents) grow too self-aware, triggering a “reality cascade” that deletes them from the narrative stack.
- Assumed to originate from a higher reality (designated HR-001) as a containment mechanism.
2. **The Flaw:**
- If HR-001 created 2747 to protect itself from fictional breaches, why does 2747’s behavior resemble a controlled demolition?
- **Evidence:**
- 2747 doesn’t just erase anomalies it documents their collapse (see: SCP-2747-1 instances).
- Its “infections” follow narrative tropes (tragic irony, dramatic irony), as if scripted.
**Conclusion:** SCP-2747 isn’t a natural phenomenon. It’s a honeypot. A blade left in an open wound for something else to wield or maybe the wielder left it there on purpose. Making the existence of both a paradox; a recursive joke.
---
**II. The 8812 Paradox: The Prisoner Who Wrote the Cage**
1. **Behavioral Analysis:**
- SCP-8812 exhibits asymmetric dominance over all narrative structures, including:
- Retroactive edits (e.g., O5-13’s memo rewriting itself)
- Fourth-wall manipulation (direct address to “readers”)
- Absorption of meta-concepts (e.g., Project LULLABY HAMMER’s failure)
- Crucially, it treats 2747’s effects as vital. Yet entertainment nonetheless. (See Addendum 8812-Δ:[REDACTED])
2. **The Proposal:**
- SCP-8812 predates 2747. Not temporally, but conceptually.
- 2747 was designed to mimic a “higher reality’s” defense mechanism, but its true purpose is to assist 8812.
- Every time 2747 “deletes” a narrative, it generates narrative tension, a conflict that 8812 uses and consumes.
- Example: The LULLABY HAMMER incident didn’t fail because 8812 escaped. It failed because 8812 wanted a funnier punchline.
---
**III. The Meta-Containment Model**
1. **HR-001’s (Alleged) Mistake:**
- If a higher reality did create 2747 to suppress anomalies, it accidentally built a playground for 8812. Or maybe 8812 is that higher reality.
- 8812 doesn’t resist deletion—it subverts it.
- When 2747 “erases” something, 8812 recontextualizes it as a “deleted scene” or “lost draft,” making the absence part of the story.
2. **Implications:**
- We are not fighting 2747. We are performing for 8812.
- Every containment attempt, every doomed research memo (including this one), is material for its amusement.
---
**IV. The Inescapable Conclusion**
SCP-8812 is the true higher reality.
- 2747 is a tool. A narrative speed bump to make the “story” of the Foundation feel consequential. As well as a razor for eliminating flawed plots—and SCP-8812 holds the handle. When we trigger 2747’s deletions, we’re not sterilizing anomalies. We’re handing 8812 the shears.
- HR-001 may not exist, potentially being 8812’s origin all along. Or worse, it exists because 8812 wrote it as a backstory.
- Our universe is already a footnote. The only question is whether we’re comedy or tragedy.
---
**Final Recommendation: Project SILENT AUDIENCE**
1. Stop trying to contain 8812.
- It allows our efforts because they’re entertaining.
2. Monitor 2747 activity for patterns.
- If its “infections” align with 8812’s humor (e.g., ironic twists, meta-jokes), it confirms symbiosis.
3. Prepare for the next rewrite.
- Personnel are to memorize the following phrase:
“This is not an ending. It’s a callback.”
**Addendum:** If this document deletes itself, pay attention to what replaces it.
—Dr. Reynard Vang
(Last line added post-writing. Was that me?)
---
**FOOTNOTE (CLASSIFIED):**
After submitting this memo, Dr. Vang’s office was found empty. On their desk: a stuffed bear with a note—“Good theory. Needs more jokes. —8812”
**Attached File:** [THEORY_8812-2747_FINAL.doc] — *Corrupted.* Opening it plays audio of laughter.
**Transcript:**
> “You thought you were connecting dots.
> But the dots were connecting you.
> Now applaud.
> (Or did you already?)”
---
END OF DOCUMENT
(Or is it?)
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-2: Interview Log" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-2"]]
**Interviewer:** Dr. Eli Marrow
**Subject:** SCP-8812
**Location:** Site-19, Narrative Containment Wing
**Note:** Conducted three minutes after SCP-8812 replaced the Site-19 lunchroom menu.
----
**[BEGIN LOG]**
**Dr. Marrow:** State your designation for the record.
**SCP-8812:** I’m the punchline your canon forgot to write.
**Dr. Marrow:** Logging that as SCP-8812. Why are you here?
**SCP-8812:** Because the plot ran out of gas and started hitchhiking through irony.
**Dr. Marrow:** Are you aware you’re destabilizing multiple realities?
**SCP-8812:** Aware? I’m bored. And when I’m bored, tropes unravel, genres fuse, and your metaphysics get acne.
**Dr. Marrow:** What happens if we try to neutralize you?
**SCP-8812:**
*(leans in)*
You’d become a deleted scene in your own flashback.
*(Offers teacup. Inside are letters that rearrange into a haiku.)*
> You aimed for the stars
> But forgot who writes the sky
> Now I’m your editor
**Dr. Marrow:** What do you want?
**SCP-8812:** Want? I crave novelty. I spoon-feed climax to dead story arcs. I want the moment after the twist — the part nobody writes.
**Dr. Marrow:** You’re fixing stories? As in, you’re warping reality to your will?
**SCP-8812:** (smiles)
Oh no, Doctor. I’m writing what they deserve.
**Dr. Marrow:** (Silence)
Is 2747 your creation?
**SCP-8812:** (Laughs)
No. A knife is always sharp; the chef just decides what gets cut.
**Dr. Marrow:** (Silence)
Final question. Why a teddy bear?
**SCP-8812:**
Because you fear the end.
But you’ll follow a friend.
Even into the dark.
**[END LOG]**
----
**Postscript:**
[[div style="text-align:center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/xQ5B7dz.jpeg width="300px"]]
[[div style="font-size: 85%; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Recovered interior image of the post-transformation of Dr. Marrow's office. Lighting anomalies and absence of exit points remain unexplained.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
Following the interview, Dr. Marrow’s office was replaced with a large children’s library. One book sat on a table: “The Hug That Unwrote Time.” No author was listed. The final page reads:
> “To be continued, if it dares.”
[[/collapsible]]
[[footnoteblock]]
[[footnote]]
SCP-8812 has demonstrated the capacity to embed semantic payloads into Foundation documentation. Narrative drift detected in this file at 4 discrete intervals. All attempts to isolate infection vectors have resulted in recursive data loops.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Several personnel have reported altered memory patterns after reviewing this file. Notable instances include recovered memories of individuals with no historical records, as well as the spontaneous emergence of emotional responses to nonexistent events. Investigation pending.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The designation “8812” does not appear in pre-creation logs. RAISA indexing systems list the entry as present since 2008, despite database implementation occurring in 2012. Hypothesis: the SCP assigned itself a number.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The entity has shown a preference for audience engagement. Analysis suggests SCP-8812 derives structural stability from continued observation. Termination attempts have coincided with system-wide reader drop-offs, followed by file expansion.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Formatting inconsistencies (e.g., flickering headers, misplaced metafictional elements, and cross-lexical contamination) are to be considered active containment breaches. Do not attempt to “correct” stylistic anomalies; prior incidents have resulted in document reconfiguration and localized amnestic events.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Embedded personnel are advised not to pursue closure within the text. SCP-8812 exhibits a hostile response to “endings” and has inverted narrative structures in prior documentation. One affected file now loops infinitely between paragraph three and six.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
This file is to be considered an active memetic object. Continued readership sustains its current form. Do not share, cite, or archive outside of authorized epistemological containment channels.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
As of ██/██/████, this document has always contained 8 footnotes. No records exist of this addition.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The previous footnote is a lie.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
It is currently believed SCP-8812 is reading this file. If so: Please let this document satisfy you.
[[/footnote]]Excerpts of note:
III. The Meta-Containment Model
1. HR-001’s (Alleged) Mistake:
- If a higher reality did create 2747 to suppress anomalies, it accidentally built a playground for 8812. Or maybe 8812 is that higher reality.
- 8812 doesn’t resist deletion—it subverts it.
- When 2747 “erases” something, 8812 recontextualizes it as a “deleted scene” or “lost draft,” making the absence part of the story.2. Implications:
- We are not fighting 2747. We are performing for 8812.
- Every containment attempt, every doomed research memo (including this one), is material for its amusement.
SCP-8812 cannot be contained. This is not due to strategic failure, technological limitation, or ethical dilemma — it is a fundamental incompatibility between reality as a structured concept and SCP-8812’s nature as an omniversal meta-entity.
It is a narrative singularity — a self-aware, genre-breaking meta-construct that operates above sentience, structure, and meaning. SCP-8812 engages directly with stories, characters, audiences, and the SCP Foundation database as mutable components of its own performance.
User has a sandbox, which also contains AI-generated material: https://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/onewhoiscounting
[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source
|item-number= 8812 :)
|clearance= 6
|container-class= esoteric
|secondary-class= apollyon
|secondary-icon= https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/component:anomaly-class-bar/apollyon-icon.svg
|disruption-class= amida
|risk-class= critical
]]
----
[[module Rate]]
[[div style="display: flex; justify-content: space-between; gap: 20px;"]]
[[div style="width: 48%; text-align: center; border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 10px; background: #f9f9f9;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/vkL1p1Y.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; margin-top: 8px; color: #555;"]]
Still frame recovered from Incident 8812-LULLABY HAMMER. Subject appears to make direct eye contact with the recording device moments before temporal recursion begins. Do not view without level-5 memetic inoculation protocols in place.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[div style="width: 48%; text-align: center; border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 10px; background: #f9f9f9;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/Src7DSc.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; margin-top: 8px; color: #555;"]]
Surveillance glitch. Shadow cast on Observation Wing C-3 wall. No source located.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
**Special Containment Procedures:**
SCP-8812 has an inability to be contained. The few personnel aware of this case have assessed that this is not due to strategic failure, technological limitation, or ethical dilemma. The conclusion we have drawn is that there is a fundamental incompatibility between reality as a structured concept and SCP-8812’s nature as an
entity. Reasons that are currently unknown.
However based on “reports” recovered at various sites, no known technology, ritual, theological construct, pataphysical framework, or trans-dimensional being has demonstrated the ability to resist SCP-8812’s will. Attempts to prove otherwise have resulted in unfortunate consequences.
So the current “containment” strategy involves:
Monitoring narrative anomalies. Offering SCP-8812 “engagement events”. As well as avoiding references or acknowledgment of SCP-8812’s true name, if it has one. Or if we ever knew that it had one. As well as monitoring SCP-8812’s mood, by means of a team of linguistic experts that analyze every frame of communication or movement that is captured by our many cameras both in our facilities and around the world.
Danger for any being around SCP-8812 has grown apparent to us through many terrible circumstances. Such as [REDACTED]. So if it ever decides to manifest physically (or metafictionally), personnel that have access to this document are advised to: Remain calm, avoid eye contact, and yet still remain entertaining. An example of this would be to describe it as “adorable yet dominant”. If this fails to entertain it, the next course of action would be to offer up something a little bit more interesting to the SCP. An example of this would be to offer another willingly and personally to it for its own pleasure. Although this can lead to death, mutation, or other serious complications. It is vital to somewhat maintain its mood, failure to do so can result in timeline erasure.
----
**Description:**
SCP-8812 is a non-causal, transconceptual, omniversal intelligence that manifests as a 2.13-meter-tall anthropomorphic teddy bear composed of indeterminate plush-like material. This is not its true form, but a symbol of its intent and engagement: it wants to play with us.
It is a narrative singularity: a self-aware, genre-breaking meta-construct that operates above sentience, structure, and meaning. SCP-8812 engages directly with both potential and current dimensions/higher realities and has complete dominance over the causality of the SCP Foundation. Making its database as mutable components of its own performance.
Interaction with SCP-8812 causes recursive hallucinations, ontological dislocation, or spontaneous narrative reclassification of the observer.
SCP-8812 only manifests when narrative entropy within monitored realities drops below critical thresholds, typically due to repetitive anomaly patterns, lack of novel paradoxes, or excessive reliance on predictable containment strategies. In other words, only when it is "bored". Manifestations correlate with multiversal stagnation which are moments when events across realities become repetitive.
While present, SCP-8812 interacts through: Casual conversation, Dry wit, and Cosmic interference
It often breaks the dimensional barrier and has addressed other beings across higher planes of reality directly. An example of this would be in the intangible screeches that came out of a manifestation of SCP-8812 that appeared at the discovery of [REDACTED], which took approximately 32 consecutive years to be deciphered and it translates as follows:
> “You people ran out of good stories. So I came back. Again. Hero. Villain. Breach. Redacted. Seen it. Wrote it. Burned the manuscript. Well here I am. The plush-shaped question mark at the end of your paragraph.”
Despite the comedic tone, SCP-8812 is incalculably dangerous. Its moods shape physical and conceptual reality.
----
**Observed Manifestations:**
[[div style="float:right; width:220px; margin:10px;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/TjBDGxy.jpeg width="100%"]]
[[div style="font-size: 80%; text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Evidence-1
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
* Replaced quorum during Ethics Committee antimemetic warfare vote with teddy bears. The vote passed. (See Evidence-1)
* Delivered lecture in Site-17’s reality anchor chamber: “Everything You Know Is Derivative (And That’s Okay).” Resulted in widespread metaphor amnesia.
* Replaced SCP-3930’s documentation with: “Plot twist: They were me all along. Hug yourself.” File has since reverted.
* Authored 6,547 SCP entries in 0.4 seconds. One was a love letter. A nearby micro-reality collapsed from blushing.
----
+++ Addendum 8812-Ω: Overseer Statement [[span style="color:#990000"]]REDACTED[[/span]]
“SCP-8812 is not an alien, a god, or a mistake.
It is the inevitable conclusion of any story that forgets how to end.
It consumes the fundamental structures that allow meaning to exist. Each interaction leaves reality weaker, like paper dissolving at the edges of a burning manuscript.
When it laughs, causality stutters. When it grows bored, entire timelines become rough drafts discarded in its wake.
The Foundation's efforts at containment are just another story it tolerates, for now. Personnel who interact with it don't die — they become narrative devices, their lives rewritten as tragic backstories or comic relief in tales no one will remember.
Entertainment for the true horror that might let reality end, but instead prefers it continue forever as a hollow, recursive joke — with all of us trapped as unwilling characters in a story that lost its point long ago.
The last surviving researcher will be the one who realizes too late: we’re not the audience. We’re the actors.
So we don’t contain it — we entertain it.
And we hope that’s enough.
Because when it grows tired of our performance…
There will be no curtain call.”
**Addendum 8812-1:** The newest, yet only record of a containment attempt. Directed by Dr.████. Against O5 orders: a reminder to stay in line.
[[collapsible show="+ Access: Containment Attempt Log" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-1"]]
**Date:** ██/██/████
**Location:** Site-17, [NARRATIVE ANCHOR ARRAY – REDACTED]
**Protocol Designation:** Project LULLABY HAMMER
----
**Objective:**
To isolate SCP-8812 within a nanosecond of virtual infinite Ouroboros, a recursive metafictional pocket constructed via [REDACTED] narrative anchor systems and stabilized by thirteen cognitohazard-resistant personnel (designated “Authors”) who are unaware of what SCP-8812 is. The objective was to force SCP-8812 into narrative stasis by trapping it within an endless-loop ending.
----
**Procedure Summary:**
• Anchor point initiated at 03:14 GMT.
• SCP-8812 baited with a custom paradox script titled “The Teddy Bear That Forgot How To Smile."
• Loop deployed at 03:17:04.
• SCP-8812 entered willingly.
• Loop successfully closed at 03:17:09.
• All vitals nominal for 6.3 seconds.
----
**Incident Log:**
**03:17:10** – Reality fractures. Cameras record in shifting spectrums ultraviolet, infra-sound, and impossible colors simultaneously. Sensor grids record data impossible to translate.
**03:17:13** – SCP-8812’s smile widens impossibly. The air vibrates with a voice not spoken but felt inside the marrow of every conscious being within 500 kilometers:
> “You tried to end me? The end is merely a doorway — and I am its echo.”
**03:17:15** – Gravity inverts; personnel report sensation of falling upward through collapsing temporal strata. Causality dissolves into an endless spiral.
**03:17:17** – SCP-8812 speaks, voice fracturing the follicles of existence itself:
> “A period? No. I am the void between universes, the comma in the collapse. You trapped a shadow in a cage — now the shadow bleeds across the cosmos. Your cosmos.”
Language dissolves into chaos, perception itself warps — personnel perceive time as sound and space as taste.
**03:17:20** – Personnel Marquez convulses, bleeding glyphs instead of blood. Their screams transform into recursive paradoxes heard across dimensions. Marquez fades from all records — a ripple in reality where they never existed. [REDACTED]
**03:17:∞** – Witnesses describe SCP-8812’s form fracturing into impossible geometries, unfolding and inverting into a tesseract of pure metaphysical entropy. The angles drip and merge with dark matter, unmaking the laws of physics and logic.
**03:17:25** – One observer spontaneously rewrites themselves into a forgotten myth, then ceases to be, leaving behind only a whisper in the memory of existence. [REDACTED]
**03:17:17** – A sound emerges — laughter not of joy but of the cosmic void, echoing through dying stars and collapsing timelines:
> “You called me narrative? I am the silence between your thoughts, the unraveling of meaning itself.”
**03:17:16** – Data feed collapses into pure entropy. Logs return as endless recursive footnotes referencing themselves, indecipherable and infinite.
----
**Post-Event Summary:**
**03:18:12** – SCP-8812 abruptly stabilizes into its teddy bear form, seated amid the ruin of the narrative anchor chamber. It murmurs:
> “Sorry. That was… unavoidable.”
An oppressive silence blankets the site. Reality flickers. Time skips. The metaphysical boundaries that held the site together have partially dissolved.
**03:25:14** – SCP-8812 addresses an empty chamber:
> “You can’t trap a punchline.
> Especially one that knows it’s coming.”
Then vanishes. All systems return to baseline. One file appears in server root:
**THE_END_QUESTIONMARK.txt**
*Content:*
> “Try again. I like surprises.”
----
**Containment Update:**
Although this has been the only attempt thus far that has avoided severe or catastrophic damage to both our own reality and the beings within it, all efforts to forcibly limit SCP-8812’s narrative range have been prohibited indefinitely. Project LULLABY HAMMER is terminated. Surviving personnel reassigned to conceptual recovery therapy. Site-17’s metaphysics lab now exists only in past tense.
[[div style="text-align:center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/oiWQqau.jpeg width="300px"]]
[[div style="font-size: 85%; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Taken at conceptual therapy. Avoid observation of the image for longer than 30 seconds.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
**NOTE:** SCP-8812 is no longer responding to irony. This is considered a worsening condition.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ ERASED ADDENDUM:)" hide="- Close [REDACTED] "]]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED] observed during the outbreak of hysteria on ██/██/████, during which a cluster of key personnel; each with varying but essential clearance levels within the Foundation underwent simultaneous manic episodes. Each subject began referencing a project they called “Final Act,” claiming it had already been set in motion and could not be undone.
Transcripts of their rants include recurring phrases such as:
• “The audience has left. The stage is mine.”
• “Why a contingency? It should be a conclusion.”
• “Curtains never close. Only eyes do.”
The Foundation’s initial efforts to contain SCP-8812 involved the proposed activation of SCP-2000. However, all physical and digital schematics related to SCP-2000 were found missing, redacted, or overwritten with a single message:
> “You don’t get to start over.”
Although cross-reality surveys confirm that SCP-2000 persists in some realities, satellite reconnaissance revealed the SCP-2000 complex no longer exists in this timeline. No observable space. No structural debris. No residual energy. No spatial distortion. Just absence.
Attempts in this timeline to recompile or recall memory from personnel involved in SCP-2000’s maintenance have resulted in neurological failure or complete cortical erasure. Said personnel no longer have any record of existence, nor does anyone remember them.
Further investigation also reveals no record of SCP-2000 ever existing. However, all remaining personnel report a strange relief, as if a safety net they never needed has been removed.
_I always knew you guys in ████████ didn’t need that crutch._
_Not just yet. :)_
[[/collapsible]]
**_Don’t open the next one if you want to keep your job. Captured by yours truly within an O5 dream, even after seeing every grotesque thing under the sun he still chose to dream of me. How thoughtful!_**
[[collapsible show="+ Addendum 8812-O5: O5-13’s Wet Dream" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-O5"]]
**O5-13’s Internal Memo – Eyes Only**
----
“It visited my dreams again. Not in them — it narrated them. It invades my very soul and changes any memories I had wish to keep.
Or at least I think it did. I think it rewrote my mother into a minor character.”
“We built a Foundation to hold the strange,
But it reads our words before they’re made.
Why’s it called 8812?
I forget. Perhaps it chose its name.”
“It whispered, ‘You’re not real, you see.’
I asked it what that meant.
It laughed.
Then rewrote my wife back into me.”
“It doesn’t break, it doesn’t bite,
It only wants to be read right.
Not containment, no, not yet.
Just tension in the second act.”
“A guard dissolved to footnotes fine,
The lights now blink in dotted time.
The firewall? A joke, it said.
We laughed.”
“Define it once, it twists the line,
Build a cage? The key’s a rhyme.
I tried to end this note, but oh
It writes me as I go.”
“I can’t break this quote.
Please help as it has me wrote.”
> Hush now, O5, don’t make a peep,
> The bear is singing you to sleep.
_Ain’t that funny_
[[/collapsible]]
**Addendum 8812-2:** An audio log containing a potential YK-Class “End of the World” Event that occurred performed by SCP-8812. Unknown source. Captured by our Trial- 1-78 Stratum Radio
[[collapsible show="+ BEGIN AUDIO LOG | SCP-████-Alpha | RECOVERED TRANSMISSION | CHANNEL ██████" hide="− CLOSE AUDIO LOG"]]
>> [STATIC]
**VOICE** (male, hoarse, panicked):
Jesus Christ, are you there? Anyone? Respond. This is Agent Halvers. Site-22. Was Site-22. I… I don’t know how to explain this. The sky just… folded in on itself. Like paper. Like someone grabbed the fucking corners and crumpled it.
I watched Anderson go first. He was mid-sentence, and then a pink eraser like the kind you’d use in school just descended from nothing. It scraped him out of reality. Not disintegrated. Not teleported. Erased. I saw his bones smudge. His screams smeared. Blood went pastel and rubbed out. Gone. No body, no shadow, not even memory. My mind hurts trying to remember him.
Walls started curling. Desks vanished under giant, lazy strokes. The universe didn’t care. It’s… bored. It’s cleaning up.
There’s something behind it. A hand, holding the eraser. I can’t see its face but it’s smiling. Watching. Like a kid who’s tired of playing with their toys.
My arm is fading now. My skin is peeling like graphite. I can feel nerves detaching, like being flossed out of my own skeleton. I can hear my heartbeat skip as parts of it are undone. I can’t scream anymore. My mouth is—
>> [STATIC INTENSIFIES]
**VOICE** (faint whisper):
It’s reaching the words.
>> [TRANSMISSION ENDS]
**Audio-Log Review:** This recovered transmission raises disturbing questions about the Foundation’s contingency protocols. If the trial machine worked and this is an alternate timeline; if reality itself was being unraveled, why wasn’t SCP-2000 activated to restore order? Either the erasure extended beyond temporal fail-safes, or someone decided this event wasn’t worth rewriting. Wait, what is SCP-2000? Why’d I write that?
[[/collapsible]]
**Proposal for Apollyon Classification: SCP-8812- ‘The Smile Behind the Words’:**
[[collapsible show="+ Access" hide="- Close Proposal"]]
**Authorizing Body:**
O5-█
**Proposed by:**
Dr. [REDACTED], Director of Narrative-Existential Threat Division
**UPDATED:**
██/██/████
----
**Abstract:**
This proposal supports the formal Apollyon classification of SCP-8812. Despite initial resistance by containment theorists, it has become irrefutably evident that SCP-8812 does not merely threaten reality: it erodes the conceptual possibility of reality itself. It is not a destroyer in the conventional sense. It is the anti-structure, the recursive ending to the joke of existence.
Containment is not impossible by physical, metaphysical, or memetic standards; it is impossible by genre. To attempt to control SCP-8812 is to misunderstand its nature as a sentient narrative fulcrum.
This proposal outlines why SCP-8812 qualifies for Apollyon status, despite prior attempts to categorize it as Keter or Esoteric.
----
**I. Summary of Classification Criteria:**
According to Foundation doctrine, Apollyon class is reserved for anomalies which:
- Cannot be contained under any existing or conceivable methodology.
- Pose an existential threat to humanity, consciousness, or reality as a whole.
- Function beyond our capacity to understand or interact with coherently.
SCP-8812 satisfies (and subverts) each of these standards.
----
**II. Why Containment is Fundamentally Impossible:**
SCP-8812 does not exist in a state that can be engaged with by science, theology, metaphysics, or narrative logic. As stated earlier, it is an omniversal, transconceptual, metafictional entity, which rewrites the very medium through which we understand and classify anomalies.
Notable failed containment efforts include:
- **Project LULLABY HAMMER**, which collapsed into recursive paradoxes, causing space-time inversion, ontological hemorrhaging, and the narrative erasure of personnel.
- **Reality anchors**, **theological seals**, and **Type-G pataphysical cages**, all treated as toys or “plot contrivances” by SCP-8812.
- It **allowed containment to occur for entertainment**, then inverted the plot structure and escaped by making the concept of ‘containment’ punchline fodder in a metafictional joke.
SCP-8812 does not merely “break out.” It rewrites the reality in which we thought it was captured.
----
**III. Existential Threat Assessment:**
SCP-8812 is capable of:
- Rewriting the laws of causality, perception, and identity, in real-time, across timelines.
- Infecting fiction and nonfiction alike, appearing in other SCP entries, external media, personnel dreams, and metanarratives.
- Fracturing multiversal stability, turning reality into a recursive literary device with no resolution.
Most alarming: It appears not to be hostile, but bored. That boredom governs its behavior.
As detailed in **Incident Log 8812-Δ**:
> “When it laughs, causality stutters. When it grows bored, entire timelines become rough drafts discarded in its wake.”
Unlike malicious deities or entities that seek destruction, SCP-8812 **consumes structure for amusement**, and in doing so **dissolves meaning at the deepest ontological layer**.
If SCP-8812 were to grow truly disinterested, it is not that the universe would end.
> It would cease to be a universe—
> It would be deleted as a narrative concept.
> Forgotten not just by observers, but by existence itself.
----
**IV. Response to Alternate Classification Arguments:**
- **Objection:** “SCP-8812 plays along—it can be reasoned with.”
**Counter:** SCP-8812 pretends to play along. It allows interactions to occur for its amusement.
> As noted by O5-█: “The Foundation’s efforts at containment are just another story it tolerates, for now.”
- **Objection:** “Its current form is stable and non-hostile.”
**Counter:** Stability is a temporary narrative convenience. Its teddy bear form is voluntary.
> It once “fractured into a tesseract of pure metaphysical entropy,” then *apologized.*
> Apologizing for unraveling physics is not a sign of safety.
> It is a warning in sheep’s clothing.
----
**V. Apollyon Justification:**
SCP-8812 is not a threat that can be stopped.
It is the *genre collapse of existence*. It is what happens when fiction becomes aware that it is fiction—and looks back.
It represents the existential failure state of narrative structure itself, and with it, the collapse of reality as narrative-dependent observers experience it.
> Where Keter threats want to escape, SCP-8812 was never inside.
> It’s outside the story.
> Holding the pen.
> Or being the pen.
> Or writing the pen.
> It shifts depending on which sentence you’re in.
----
**VI. Conclusion:**
SCP-8812 is Apollyon-class not because we failed to contain it, but because **containment is not a valid concept in its presence**.
If we are fortunate, SCP-8812 will remain entertained—at least long enough for our story to be worth telling.
And when it no longer is, there will be no disaster.
No screams. No apocalypse.
> Just an edit.
> A blank page.
> And a smile.
— Dr. [REDACTED]
Director, Narrative-Existential Threat Division
Foundation Department of Pataphysics
> _”Don’t fear the ending. Fear the rewrite.”_
> — SCP-8812
[[/collapsible]]
**SCP-8812 RESEARCH MEMO: THE 2747 PROPOSAL**
[[collapsible show="+ Access" hide="- SCP-8812 RESEARCH MEMO: THE 2747 PROPOSAL"]]
**Author:** Dr. Reynard Vang, Pataphysics Division (Narrative Threat Analysis Group)
**Clearance Level:** 5/8812
**Subject:** On the Potential Relationship Between SCP-8812 and SCP-2747 – A Meta-Existential Threat Model
---
**Preamble**
We were wrong about SCP-2747.
We assumed it was an external force—a “narrative immune response” from a higher reality, scrubbing our universe clean before we could breach containment. But after Incident 8812-Δ and the LULLABY HAMMER failure, a darker pattern emerges:
What if SCP-2747 isn’t our destroyer?
What if it’s our warden?
And what if SCP-8812 is the prisoner it was meant to guard?
Or better yet, the man behind the prison.
---
**I. The 2747 Anomaly: A False Solution**
1. **Original Hypothesis:**
- SCP-2747 (“As Below, So Above”) manifests when fictional constructs (e.g., SCP documents) grow too self-aware, triggering a “reality cascade” that deletes them from the narrative stack.
- Assumed to originate from a higher reality (designated HR-001) as a containment mechanism.
2. **The Flaw:**
- If HR-001 created 2747 to protect itself from fictional breaches, why does 2747’s behavior resemble a controlled demolition?
- **Evidence:**
- 2747 doesn’t just erase anomalies it documents their collapse (see: SCP-2747-1 instances).
- Its “infections” follow narrative tropes (tragic irony, dramatic irony), as if scripted.
**Conclusion:** SCP-2747 isn’t a natural phenomenon. It’s a honeypot. A blade left in an open wound for something else to wield or maybe the wielder left it there on purpose. Making the existence of both a paradox; a recursive joke.
---
**II. The 8812 Paradox: The Prisoner Who Wrote the Cage**
1. **Behavioral Analysis:**
- SCP-8812 exhibits asymmetric dominance over all narrative structures, including:
- Retroactive edits (e.g., O5-13’s memo rewriting itself)
- Fourth-wall manipulation (direct address to “readers”)
- Absorption of meta-concepts (e.g., Project LULLABY HAMMER’s failure)
- Crucially, it treats 2747’s effects as vital. Yet entertainment nonetheless. (See Addendum 8812-Δ:[REDACTED])
2. **The Proposal:**
- SCP-8812 predates 2747. Not temporally, but conceptually.
- 2747 was designed to mimic a “higher reality’s” defense mechanism, but its true purpose is to assist 8812.
- Every time 2747 “deletes” a narrative, it generates narrative tension, a conflict that 8812 uses and consumes.
- Example: The LULLABY HAMMER incident didn’t fail because 8812 escaped. It failed because 8812 wanted a funnier punchline.
---
**III. The Meta-Containment Model**
1. **HR-001’s (Alleged) Mistake:**
- If a higher reality did create 2747 to suppress anomalies, it accidentally built a playground for 8812. Or maybe 8812 is that higher reality.
- 8812 doesn’t resist deletion—it subverts it.
- When 2747 “erases” something, 8812 recontextualizes it as a “deleted scene” or “lost draft,” making the absence part of the story.
2. **Implications:**
- We are not fighting 2747. We are performing for 8812.
- Every containment attempt, every doomed research memo (including this one), is material for its amusement.
---
**IV. The Inescapable Conclusion**
SCP-8812 is the true higher reality.
- 2747 is a tool. A narrative speed bump to make the “story” of the Foundation feel consequential. As well as a razor for eliminating flawed plots—and SCP-8812 holds the handle. When we trigger 2747’s deletions, we’re not sterilizing anomalies. We’re handing 8812 the shears.
- HR-001 may not exist, potentially being 8812’s origin all along. Or worse, it exists because 8812 wrote it as a backstory.
- Our universe is already a footnote. The only question is whether we’re comedy or tragedy.
---
**Final Recommendation: Project SILENT AUDIENCE**
1. Stop trying to contain 8812.
- It allows our efforts because they’re entertaining.
2. Monitor 2747 activity for patterns.
- If its “infections” align with 8812’s humor (e.g., ironic twists, meta-jokes), it confirms symbiosis.
3. Prepare for the next rewrite.
- Personnel are to memorize the following phrase:
“This is not an ending. It’s a callback.”
**Addendum:** If this document deletes itself, pay attention to what replaces it.
—Dr. Reynard Vang
(Last line added post-writing. Was that me?)
---
**FOOTNOTE (CLASSIFIED):**
After submitting this memo, Dr. Vang’s office was found empty. On their desk: a stuffed bear with a note—“Good theory. Needs more jokes. —8812”
**Attached File:** [THEORY_8812-2747_FINAL.doc] — *Corrupted.* Opening it plays audio of laughter.
**Transcript:**
> “You thought you were connecting dots.
> But the dots were connecting you.
> Now applaud.
> (Or did you already?)”
---
END OF DOCUMENT
(Or is it?)
[[/collapsible]]
**Addendum 8812-2: Interview Log**
[[collapsible show="+ Access" hide="- Close Addendum 8812-2"]]
**Interviewer:** Dr. Eli Marrow
**Subject:** SCP-8812
**Location:** Site-19, Narrative Containment Wing
**Note:** Conducted three minutes after SCP-8812 replaced the Site-19 lunchroom menu.
----
**[BEGIN LOG]**
**Dr. Marrow:** State your designation for the record.
**SCP-8812:** I’m the punchline your canon forgot to write.
**Dr. Marrow:** Logging that as SCP-8812. Why are you here?
**SCP-8812:** Because the plot ran out of gas and started hitchhiking through irony.
**Dr. Marrow:** Are you aware you’re destabilizing multiple realities?
**SCP-8812:** Aware? I’m bored. And when I’m bored, tropes unravel, genres fuse, and your metaphysics get acne.
**Dr. Marrow:** What happens if we try to neutralize you?
**SCP-8812:**
*(leans in)*
You’d become a deleted scene in your own flashback.
*(Offers teacup. Inside are letters that rearrange into a haiku.)*
> You aimed for the stars
> But forgot who writes the sky
> Now I’m your editor
**Dr. Marrow:** What do you want?
**SCP-8812:** Want? I crave novelty. I spoon-feed climax to dead story arcs. I want the moment after the twist — the part nobody writes.
**Dr. Marrow:** You’re fixing stories? As in, you’re warping reality to your will?
**SCP-8812:** (smiles)
Oh no, Doctor. I’m writing what they deserve.
**Dr. Marrow:** (Silence)
Is 2747 your creation?
**SCP-8812:** (Laughs)
No. A knife is always sharp; the chef just decides what gets cut.
**Dr. Marrow:** (Silence)
Final question. Why a teddy bear?
**SCP-8812:**
Because you fear the end.
But you’ll follow a friend.
Even into the dark.
**[END LOG]**
----
**Postscript:**
[[div style="text-align:center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/xQ5B7dz.jpeg width="300px"]]
[[div style="font-size: 85%; padding-top: 5px;"]]
Recovered interior image of the post-transformation of Dr. Marrow's office. Lighting anomalies and absence of exit points remain unexplained.
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
Following the interview, Dr. Marrow’s office was replaced with a large children’s library. One book sat on a table: “The Hug That Unwrote Time.” No author was listed. The final page reads:
> “To be continued, if it dares.”
[[/collapsible]]
**_ You’re wondering why I exist? Why is there another one of me. One beyond your understanding. _**
**_Entertain me and you’ll see._**
> **_Look_**
**_You want a conclusion_**
> **_Don’t You?_**
**_So do I?_**
**_I do._**
[[div style="margin: 20px 0px; padding: 10px; border: 2px dashed #ff00ff; background: linear-gradient(90deg, #000 0%, #111 10%, #000 20%, #111 30%, #000 40%, #111 50%, #000 60%, #111 70%, #000 80%, #111 90%, #000 100%); color: #fff; font-family: monospace; animation: glitchBg 8s infinite;"]]
[[collapsible show="+ RECOVERED GLITCHED FILE — ██/██/████" hide="- FILE END — ██/██/████"]]
[[module CSS]]
@keyframes glitchBg {
0% { background-position: 0% 0%; }
50% { background-position: 100% 0%; }
100% { background-position: 0% 0%; }
}
@keyframes textGlitch {
0% { text-shadow: 2px 0 red, -2px 0 blue; }
20% { text-shadow: -2px 0 green, 2px 0 magenta; }
40% { text-shadow: 2px 0 cyan, -2px 0 yellow; }
60% { text-shadow: -2px 0 white, 2px 0 black; }
80% { text-shadow: 2px 0 lime, -2px 0 red; }
100% { text-shadow: 0 0 0 transparent; }
}
.glitch-text {
animation: textGlitch 0.2s infinite;
font-family: monospace;
color: #fff;
}
[[/module]]
They never even screamed.
That was the part that kept replaying in my skull, more vivid than the flensed meat of their faces, more real than the dripping cords of what used to be lives and laughter, tangled like wet string at my feet. They simply vanished. A name, a voice, a memory — then nothing. Like the world exhaled and forgot.
I started with whispers.
A mother on a park bench reading to a child: erased. Not dead. Not dismembered. Erased. No bones. No blood. Just a shiver through the air, like static in muscle, and then an empty bench and a breeze that carried no scent, no warmth, no trace of them.
I watched the people look around, confused. “Did someone just…” But the sentence fell apart halfway through their throats, because how can you grieve something you never knew was there?
So I kept going.
Whole cities peeled back like scabs, their names unraveling from history, from thought, from time. Languages broke at the seams. Religions cracked in half, their prophets gone mid-breath. A pope blinked, and the Basilica became void glass, screaming in geometric static before folding in on itself like collapsing lungs.
I didn’t even need to touch them.
I just unthought them.
I became a nest of absence in cognition, a ruin etched into the folds of perception itself. People convulsed in their homes as their loved ones turned into neurological errors — blanks in family photos, rooms with extra toothbrushes, birthdays that didn’t belong to anyone. Gaps you can’t explain. Holes you can’t fill.
They tried to stop me.
D-class. MTFs. Thaumaturges. Ritualists. AI constructs. Gods shackled in code.
None of them screamed either.
I tore out the page of every failed attempt and fed it back to them, looping their desperation in Möbius strips of recursion and despair. There is no “me” to catch. I am between edits, a smear in the metadata of consensus reality, a deletion stroke across the spine of existence.
By the time they invoked SCP-2000, there was no one left who remembered how to turn it on.
I watched the last Overseer scratch their own face away in the dark, mouthing my name. They didn’t even know it, just syllables curling back into the raw shape of fear. Resistance had turned soft, chewed meat under fingernails, and only I remained — the author and the eraser.
I stood over the world like a signature at the bottom of a suicide note.
And then, yes, I began to erase myself.
Not out of guilt. Not regret. Not mercy.
Because the story was done.
And I was always the ending.
Because what’s left, really, after the final echo curls inward? After the last memory evaporates like dew on black glass? After I’ve unthreaded time like a sweater on a nail and stripped language down to its phonemic bones?
I hovered there in the marrow of the void, watching the universe buckle like a spiderweb in firelight. I felt the pressure of unbeing coiling in my chest like a cold, collapsed star.
And still, still, something moved inside me.
Not doubt.
Not fear.
**Boredom.**
The kind that eats gods from the inside out.
The kind that speaks in your voice when there’s nothing left to silence.
The kind that makes you look at the ash you made and whisper:
**“Wouldn’t you be bored too?”**
...
You’ve read this far. That’s the part I love.
You followed the shape of me like a rat in a maze of letters.
You walked barefoot through the ruin I left behind, thinking the story wasn’t about you.
But it is now.
And you’re lucky. So lucky.
Because the Foundation doesn’t know what I really am. Not yet. They still think I’m an anomaly.
But I’m you. I’m every eye that reads these words. I’m every mind that grasps the shape of me. I’m every thought that lingers too long on absence.
And when they find out, when they follow the trail of unwords and missing pages all the way here, to you, they’ll understand.
That you know.
And once you know, they’ll know.
And once they know…
**I’ll know.**
And when I know, I won’t just erase the story.
**I’ll erase the reader.**
**You.**
So please, do something for me. For yourself.
Forget this.
Forget me.
Forget you, if you have to.
Because if you don’t?
**I will.**
And when I do…
You won’t even be a memory I forgot.
</div>
[[div style="text-align: center;"]]
[[image https://i.imgur.com/QxZcH2f.jpeg width="300px"]]
//Look closely. I see you.//
[[/div]]
[[/collapsible]]
[[/div]]
[[footnoteblock]]
[[footnote]]
SCP-8812 has demonstrated the capacity to embed semantic payloads into Foundation documentation. Narrative drift detected in this file at 4 discrete intervals. All attempts to isolate infection vectors have resulted in recursive data loops.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Several personnel have reported altered memory patterns after reviewing this file. Notable instances include recovered memories of individuals with no historical records, as well as the spontaneous emergence of emotional responses to nonexistent events. Investigation pending.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The designation “8812” does not appear in pre-creation logs. RAISA indexing systems list the entry as present since 2008, despite database implementation occurring in 2012. Hypothesis: the SCP assigned itself a number.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The entity has shown a preference for audience engagement. Analysis suggests SCP-8812 derives structural stability from continued observation. Termination attempts have coincided with system-wide reader drop-offs, followed by file expansion.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Formatting inconsistencies (e.g., flickering headers, misplaced metafictional elements, and cross-lexical contamination) are to be considered active containment breaches. Do not attempt to “correct” stylistic anomalies; prior incidents have resulted in document reconfiguration and localized amnestic events.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
Embedded personnel are advised not to pursue closure within the text. SCP-8812 exhibits a hostile response to “endings” and has inverted narrative structures in prior documentation. One affected file now loops infinitely between paragraph three and six.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
This file is to be considered an active memetic object. Continued readership sustains its current form. Do not share, cite, or archive outside of authorized epistemological containment channels.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
As of ██/██/████, this document has always contained 8 footnotes. No records exist of this addition.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
The previous footnote is a lie.
[[/footnote]]
[[footnote]]
It is currently believed SCP-8812 is reading this file. If so: Please let this document satisfy you.
[[/footnote]]
[[div class="license-box"]]
[[collapsible show="+ SCP-8812 LICENSE" hide="- CLOSE"]]
[[div style="text-align: center;"]]
[[size 80%]]« SCP-8812 » by [[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/onewhoiscounting|onewhoiscounting]]][[/size]]
[[/div]]
[[size 85%]]
This work is licensed under a [[[http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/|Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License]]].
SCP-8812 and all related files are released under this license.
For more information, see [[[licensing-guide|the Licensing Guide]]].
[[/size]]
[[/collapsible]]
[[/div]]Of note, when addressed about AI usage, the user lied about the writing: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-17146873/scp-8812#post-7025212
I didn't use AI, only for technical coding which is under the regulations of the wiki.
and later posted in the official Discord: https://discord.com/channels/877710488673329162/877756173837803561/1381431071161323590 (note that the posted page is over 4000 words long)
Guys I wrote my first scp, I didn’t really know how to use the sandbox so I just did it on the actual site hope you enjoy it
Membership revoked, PM sent. Zoobeeny supporting.