No offense, but it's kinda like if a new spiderman movie was made, but it wasn't at all about spiderman, it was doctor strange, and spiderman wasn't even mentioned.
I'm just amazed at how disrespectful you're being to everyone. You have no right to be this rude to anyone, especially not someone with experience who's just trying to help you.
How absolutely rude!
This reads more like a creepypasta honestly and it doesn't help when you're disrespecting everybody who has something to say about it
The dialougue is weird, the parawatch format is not related at all, in universe, and frankly, the concept is just kinda lame and not really executed well. "Ohhhhh its a creepy alternate universe with weird evil guys". That has been done before, but better (Ie, the alternate earth controlled by parasites, the entirely dead universe, etc). An alternate world but off is a hard thing to do especially when the twist is just "Evil guys live here". Also, what does this have to do with Narnia, besides being an alternate dimension?
I do think that with some refining, a format change to an actual SCP format, and rewriting the dialogue, it could be really cool! I especially like the image, as it kinda feels like your using a camera to view the area.
Also, the title shouldn't be "Not quite Narnia", it should be SCP-(the number, I forgot what you chose.)
I usually don't post here because I don't have a degree in SCP Writing-ology, but there are some things that just don't sit right with me.
1) It reads like I'm watching an instructional video. Something I've noticed when writing both inside and outside of SCP-mythos is that you don't really wanna use 2nd person (You in particular) to describe an SCP. For example, "After only fifty (50) miles, you will see mutated humanoid creatures called SCP-8490-1, they are extremely hostile and are often deadly" is incredibly jarring to read due to it sounding almost like your telling us specifically instead of everyone who reads it.
2) The amount of worthless data that otherwise doesn't add to the story whatsoever. "Interestingly, the only currently found technology in SCP-8490 is from the 1960s. But modern clothing is found often around homes or on clotheslines" is an example of this. Giving as many details as possible isn't bad, but it should at least have some relevance towards the anomalous properties.
3) Unknown or random characters. You mention 2 characters: Igor and Sasha on an addendum. The entire purpose for characters should be to drive the story further and give more information regarding the SCP, yet all they really provide is some dialogue with a whole lotta 'fucking' and not a lot of 'information.' I also can't tell if they are just random people or if they are specific towards the Foundation. Same with Quentin, who offers no useful information and is instead just randomly dropped in. The only thing these characters have in common is mentioning an 'Apex' that is never brought up in the initial document whatsoever, which leaves me asking: What is an Apex? Who is the Apex?
4) The jarring containment procedures. Reading the Special Containment Procedures and the Description offers me SCP-XXXX-1, of which it is very undetailed. At first, when reading, I thought it was a space or location within SCP-XXXX, but apparently it's an… organism? "If any creature is to exit from SCP-8490-1, it is to be terminated unless confirmed human victim" reads extremely weirdly; Why is a confirmed human victim any different from any other victim? How does it exit from SCP-8490-1? Why terminate them?
5) Redactions. Need I say more? The only things that should be worth redacting would be the names of individuals that require their names to be redacted for security purposes, not just to add filler and mystery to the SCP.
6) Keter designation isn't worth it. It seems very easy to contain, it should at most warrant an Eucild/Vlam Classification.
Overall, its poorly written in my opinion with multiple contradictory details and horrible conversations between characters that don't serve a purpose.
I'm not a Writing Major from the University of SCP writing and making, however, so you do you, but that's my criticism.
Not only are you extremely hostile (wow just like SCP 8490-1), your article leaves much to be desired.
1. Of course, as a few people have mentioned before, this should NOT be Parawatch format. It has nothing to do with Parawatch. It doesn't even have a reference to Parawatch. If you want to use the theme, you can find a way to do that without using the image by copying the CSS and asking the owner of the theme for permission.
2. Spelling and Grammar. For example, There is to be four (4) guards, two (2) -> There are to be.
3. No need for it to be Keter. If you close the door, nothing happens.
4. Dialogue isn't bad.
5. Not really much of an idea. Door to a place with evil things, not all that interesting.
6. Chi-7 is never mentioned in the actual article.
7. I don't know if the music has any significance, but if it doesn't, why is it there?
