Noting that new site member Dapper_Biscuit (account age and site membership 1 day) recently coldposted the following page, which has multiple indicators of AI-generation: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8823/comments/show page title "Scp-8823 Wooden Candywoman"
Of note, there were two revisions after page creation. The first revision added a lot of addendum text (user edit comment "added addendum and updated the old addendum") while the second revision removed some of the AI indicators from the added content (edit comment "edited Addendum"
Revision 1:
Item #: SCP-8823
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-8823 is contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber at Site-██. The chamber is to be furnished with minimalistic, non-fabricated furniture to prevent concealment or accumulation of anomalous materials. Audio and visual surveillance must be maintained at all times. Surveillance logs are to be reviewed bi-weekly by Site-██'s psychological analysis team to monitor for any deviation in SCP-8823's behavior or speech patterns.
Interaction with SCP-8823 is restricted to personnel with Level 2 clearance or higher. All verbal exchanges with SCP-8823 must be documented and reviewed. Removal of SCP-8823’s synthetic hair is strictly prohibited outside of approved testing scenarios due to the presence of the Dr. Wondertainment™ insignia and potential anomalous significance.
Description:SCP-8823 is a humanoid automaton measuring 1.68 meters in height, visually resembling a feminine wooden mannequin. The entity is composed entirely of hand-carved, non-anomalous wood and exhibits full autonomous mobility and speech. Its joints are spherical and allow for articulation beyond standard human anatomical limits.
The entity's surface is painted uniformly white, with decorative, painted-on clothing: a long-sleeved shirt featuring multicolored candy motifs, and pants with swirling stripe patterns. These color schemes shift subtly in correspondence with SCP-8823’s emotional state. The patterns themselves do not change, only their coloration.
Although SCP-8823 lacks a mouth or vocal apparatus, it is capable of producing clear, articulate speech. The mechanism for vocalization remains unidentified. Its ocular cavities contain rotating wooden spheres that shift in design, presumed to serve as a visual indicator of emotional expression.
SCP-8823 exhibits cooperative and non-hostile behavior and refers to itself as a “people pleaser.” Staff interactions have consistently described the entity as agreeable and non-threatening.
The entity's head is topped with a mass of synthetic hair which resembles a ponytail that remains in place despite a lack of apparent physical attachment. Attempts to remove the hair outside of testing protocols are discouraged. Etched into the scalp beneath the hair is the Dr. Wondertainment™ logo, suggesting a possible connection to other anomalous entities or objects associated with the brand.
SCP-8823 possesses the unique capability to produce individually wrapped pieces of chewing gum designated SCP-1200-8823, a variant of SCP-1200. These items are generated by SCP-8823 via an unknown method: when prompted, SCP-8823 will reach behind its back; upon extension of its arm, an instance of SCP-1200-8823 will be present in its open palm. The transition is visually instantaneous and produces no detectable sound or light.
Instances of SCP-1200-8823 measure 2.5 cm x 2.5 cm x 0.63 cm and are wrapped in packaging labeled with the phrase “tastes like a gift.” Consumption results in a flavor experience subjectively perceived as the taste the consumer most desires at that moment. No additional anomalous effects have been documented.
Addendum 8823-A: Initial Recovery Log
Date: ██/██/20██
Location: ██████, Oregon
SCP-8823 was discovered in the display window of “Whimsy & Whittle's Toy Chest,” a long-abandoned toy store on the outskirts of ██████. Local authorities flagged the building after multiple social media videos surfaced depicting a humanoid figure “moving around like it was shopping” inside the store. Footage was quickly scrubbed by Foundation webcrawlers, and Mobile Task Force Iota-10 was dispatched to investigate.
Upon entry, agents reported the interior was unusually pristine despite over a decade of abandonment. SCP-8823 was found seated on a wooden rocking horse near the back of the store, humming an unidentifiable tune and holding a paper party favor. The entity made no attempt to flee or resist detainment. When addressed, it stood, offered Agent ██████ a piece of SCP-1200-8823, and stated:
“I knew someone would come eventually. It’s no fun to give gifts to dust.”
No additional context was provided. SCP-8823 willingly accompanied personnel to containment and has displayed no resistance to Foundation custody since recovery.
Notably, all clocks within the store had stopped at exactly 3:33 PM, and several shelves were newly restocked with unopened toys, none of which appear in known commercial records. A plastic “Now Hiring” sign was found propped on the store counter, marked with the Dr. Wondertainment™ insignia in faded ink.
Addendum 8823-B: SCP-1200-8823 Testing Logs
Test Log 8823-TL/1
Subject: D-9934
Result: Subject reported the gum tasted like “a rich, buttery steak with garlic mashed potatoes,” despite identifying as a vegetarian. Under questioning, the subject admitted this was their mother’s specialty dish, typically prepared on birthdays. SCP-8823 displayed no abnormal response and commented, “Birthday bites are always the best.”
Test Log 8823-TL/3
Subject: Dr. ██████
Result: Subject described the flavor as “warm banana bread fresh out of the oven with melted chocolate chips.” Subject paused for several moments before quietly stating, “I haven’t had this since I left home.” SCP-8823’s ocular spheres briefly shifted to a swirling heart motif before returning to baseline.
Test Log 8823-TL/5
Subject: D-11801
Result: Subject was instructed to think of a distasteful food before consuming the gum. Despite this, the subject described a sweet flavor consistent with “churros dipped in vanilla cream.” Subject appeared annoyed and stated, “I was thinking of sardines, not dessert!” SCP-8823 responded with a tilt of the head and the phrase: “I only give what’s wanted, not what’s thought.”
Test Log 8823-TL/6
Subject: Research Assistant Kovács
Result: Subject reported “boiled cabbage rolls in tomato sauce with a side of sour cream.” Subject expressed surprise, stating this was a dish from their childhood growing up in Budapest and had not been consciously recalled in years. SCP-8823 gave a slight bow and stated, “For homesick hearts.”
Addendum 8823-C: Incident Report – Hair Removal Attempt
Incident #: 8823-IR/04
Date: ██/██/20██
Personnel Involved: Dr. Mallory (Lead Researcher), Assistant Researcher Coen
Objective: Attempt removal of SCP-8823's synthetic hair for analysis.
Procedure: SCP-8823 was restrained per Protocol 8823-HS. Dr. Mallory used sterilized forceps to remove approximately 17 strands of synthetic hair. SCP-8823 did not resist.
Immediate Effects:
* SCP-8823's ocular spheres rotated to blank white.
* Entire body shifted to grayscale coloration.
* Repeated the phrase: “I must remain presentable.”
Assistant Coen experienced temporary memory loss, including SCP-8823’s designation and purpose of the experiment. Memory returned after 11 minutes.
Recovery: Hair was manually reattached. SCP-8823 resumed baseline behavior two hours later, showing no awareness of the incident.
Status: Unauthorized removal of synthetic hair is strictly forbidden. All incident footage and logs are restricted to Level 4 personnel and above.
Revision 2:
Item #: SCP-8823
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-8823 is contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber at Site-██. The chamber is to be furnished with minimalistic, non-fabricated furniture to prevent concealment or accumulation of anomalous materials. Audio and visual surveillance must be maintained at all times. Surveillance logs are to be reviewed bi-weekly by Site-██'s psychological analysis team to monitor for any deviation in SCP-8823's behavior or speech patterns.
Interaction with SCP-8823 is restricted to personnel with Level 2 clearance or higher. All verbal exchanges with SCP-8823 must be documented and reviewed. Removal of SCP-8823’s synthetic hair is strictly prohibited outside of approved testing scenarios due to the presence of the Dr. Wondertainment™ insignia and potential anomalous significance.
Description: SCP-8823 is a humanoid automaton measuring 1.68 meters in height, visually resembling a feminine wooden mannequin. The entity is composed entirely of hand-carved, non-anomalous wood and exhibits full autonomous mobility and speech. Its joints are spherical and allow for articulation beyond standard human anatomical limits.
The entity's surface is painted uniformly white, with decorative, painted-on clothing: a long-sleeved shirt featuring multicolored candy motifs, and pants with swirling stripe patterns. These color schemes shift subtly in correspondence with SCP-8823’s emotional state. The patterns themselves do not change, only their coloration.
Although SCP-8823 lacks a mouth or vocal apparatus, it is capable of producing clear, articulate speech. The mechanism for vocalization remains unidentified. Its ocular cavities contain rotating wooden spheres that shift in design, presumed to serve as a visual indicator of emotional expression.
SCP-8823 exhibits cooperative and non-hostile behavior and refers to itself as a “people pleaser.” Staff interactions have consistently described the entity as agreeable and non-threatening.
The entity's head is topped with a mass of synthetic hair which resembles a ponytail that remains in place despite a lack of apparent physical attachment. Attempts to remove the hair outside of testing protocols are discouraged. Etched into the scalp beneath the hair is the Dr. Wondertainment™ logo, suggesting a possible connection to other anomalous entities or objects associated with the brand.
SCP-8823 possesses the unique capability to produce individually wrapped pieces of chewing gum designated SCP-1200-8823, a variant of SCP-1200. These items are generated by SCP-8823 via an unknown method: when prompted, SCP-8823 will reach behind its back; upon extension of its arm, an instance of SCP-1200-8823 will be present in its open palm. The transition is visually instantaneous and produces no detectable sound or light.
Instances of SCP-1200-8823 measure 2.5 cm x 2.5 cm x 0.63 cm and are wrapped in packaging labeled with the phrase “tastes like a gift.” Consumption results in a flavor experience subjectively perceived as the taste the consumer most desires at that moment. No additional anomalous effects have been documented.
Addendum 8823-A: Initial Recovery Log
Date: ██/██/20██
Location: ██████, Oregon
SCP-8823 was discovered in the display window of “Whimsy & Whittle's Toy Chest,” a long-abandoned toy store on the outskirts of ██████. Local authorities flagged the building after multiple social media videos surfaced depicting a humanoid figure “moving around like it was shopping” inside the store. Footage was quickly scrubbed by Foundation webcrawlers, and Mobile Task Force Iota-10 was dispatched to investigate.
Upon entry, agents reported the interior was unusually pristine despite over a decade of abandonment. SCP-8823 was found seated on a wooden rocking horse near the back of the store, humming an unidentifiable tune and holding a paper party favor. The entity made no attempt to flee or resist detainment. When addressed, it stood, offered Agent ██████ a piece of SCP-1200-8823, and stated:
“I knew someone would come eventually. It’s no fun to give gifts to dust.”
No additional context was provided. SCP-8823 willingly accompanied personnel to containment and has displayed no resistance to Foundation custody since recovery.
Notably, all clocks within the store had stopped at exactly 3:33 PM, and several shelves were newly restocked with unopened toys, none of which appear in known commercial records. A plastic “Now Hiring” sign was found propped on the store counter, marked with the Dr. Wondertainment™ insignia in faded ink.
Addendum 8823-B: SCP-1200-8823 Testing Logs
Test Log 8823-TL/1
Subject: D-9934
Result: Subject reported the gum tasted like “a rich, buttery steak with garlic mashed potatoes,” despite identifying as a vegetarian. Under questioning, the subject admitted this was their mother’s specialty dish, typically prepared on birthdays. SCP-8823 displayed no abnormal response and commented, “Birthday bites are always the best.”
Test Log 8823-TL/3
Subject: Dr. ██████
Result: Subject described the flavor as “warm banana bread fresh out of the oven with melted chocolate chips.” Subject paused for several moments before quietly stating, “I haven’t had this since I left home.” SCP-8823’s ocular spheres briefly shifted to a swirling heart motif before returning to baseline.
Test Log 8823-TL/5
Subject: D-11801
Result: Subject was instructed to think of a distasteful food before consuming the gum. Despite this, the subject described a sweet flavor consistent with “churros dipped in vanilla cream.” Subject appeared annoyed and stated, “I was thinking of sardines, not dessert!” SCP-8823 responded with a tilt of the head and the phrase: “I only give what’s wanted, not what’s thought.”
Test Log 8823-TL/6
Subject: Research Assistant Kovács
Result: Subject reported “boiled cabbage rolls in tomato sauce with a side of sour cream.” Subject expressed surprise, stating this was a dish from their childhood growing up in Budapest and had not been consciously recalled in years. SCP-8823 gave a slight bow and stated, “For homesick hearts.”
Addendum 8823-C: Incident Report – Hair Removal Attempt
Incident #: 8823-IR/04
Date: ██/██/20██
Personnel Involved: Dr. Mallory (Lead Researcher), Assistant Researcher Coen
Objective: Investigate the nature and attachment mechanism of SCP-8823's carved wooden hairpiece.
Procedure: SCP-8823 was secured in a restraint rig compliant with Protocol 8823-HS. Dr. Mallory attempted to detach the hairpiece using precision lifting tools and non-invasive probing equipment. The structure, though a single carved wooden mass stylized to resemble a high ponytail, remained affixed to SCP-8823’s scalp via an unidentified attractive force. No magnets or fasteners were visible or detectable via handheld instrumentation.
After sustained effort and use of mild mechanical leverage, the hairpiece lifted approximately 4 cm from the scalp before suddenly releasing with no physical damage to the structure or the entity.
Immediate Effects:
SCP-8823’s ocular spheres rotated to a blank, featureless white.
Painted color on its body faded into uniform grayscale.
Subject repeated the phrase: “I must remain presentable.” in a monotone voice.
Assistant Researcher Coen became visibly disoriented, unable to recall SCP-8823’s designation or why the test was being conducted. Duration of disorientation: 11 minutes. No neurological damage detected post-recovery.
Recovery: Hairpiece was reattached manually. As it neared the scalp, it “snapped” into place with a silent, seamless alignment, as if pulled by a strong magnetic field. SCP-8823 resumed typical behavioral patterns after 2 hours, showing no memory or acknowledgment of the event.
Status: Unauthorized removal or manipulation of the hairpiece is now strictly forbidden without O5-level clearance. All visual and written documentation of Incident 8823-IR/04 has been sealed under Directive ██-████.
Excerpts of note:
SCP-8823 is contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber at Site-██. The chamber is to be furnished with minimalistic, non-fabricated furniture to prevent concealment or accumulation of anomalous materials. Audio and visual surveillance must be maintained at all times. Surveillance logs are to be reviewed bi-weekly by Site-██'s psychological analysis team to monitor for any deviation in SCP-8823's behavior or speech patterns.
Although SCP-8823 lacks a mouth or vocal apparatus, it is capable of producing clear, articulate speech. The mechanism for vocalization remains unidentified. Its ocular cavities contain rotating wooden spheres that shift in design, presumed to serve as a visual indicator of emotional expression.
SCP-8823 exhibits cooperative and non-hostile behavior and refers to itself as a “people pleaser.” Staff interactions have consistently described the entity as agreeable and non-threatening.
Addendum 8823-C: Incident Report – Hair Removal Attempt
Incident #: 8823-IR/04
Date: ██/██/20██
Personnel Involved: Dr. Mallory (Lead Researcher), Assistant Researcher Coen
Objective: Attempt removal of SCP-8823's synthetic hair for analysis.
Procedure: SCP-8823 was restrained per Protocol 8823-HS. Dr. Mallory used sterilized forceps to remove approximately 17 strands of synthetic hair. SCP-8823 did not resist.
Immediate Effects:
- SCP-8823's ocular spheres rotated to blank white.
- Entire body shifted to grayscale coloration.
- Repeated the phrase: “I must remain presentable.”
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