This was an odd one, but I pulled the trigger on it after watching for a while and deciding the level of discourse was being brought down.
Some salient points that steered my decision available in the collapsible. Worth noting this user does not have any actual writing experience on the site to my knowledge.
[19:42] <PhrygiPhan> Some of the best SCPs out there just out-right redact the most interesting parts. I'd say imagine your characters saying what you really what the to say, then put a big [REDACTED] instead
[19:42] <%taylor_iOStkin> I
[19:42] <%taylor_iOStkin> Uh
[19:42] <%taylor_iOStkin> You’re very wrong
[19:44] <PhrygiPhan> Well, many 001 proposals rely on redactions.
[19:44] <PhrygiPhan> and they tend to be pretty popular
[19:47] <DrLycus> if i may take control of the convo here in a non-op way, since i was trying to get some feedback on an anomaly
[19:47] <PhrygiPhan> Sorry drlycus, you're right
[19:47] <DrLycus> alright then
[19:47] <DrLycus> what do you think of it overall?
[19:49] <DrLycus> now that you've had a chance to hear my thoughts on it, phrygiphan
[19:49] <PhrygiPhan> I think it's middle of the road. which isn't a bad thing - you could be doing something terrible, which this isn't terrible. It shows room for improvement without being helplessly incompetent. A good place to start
[19:50] <%taylor_iOStkin> That’s
[19:50] <%taylor_iOStkin> Look man I don’t wanna step on your toes here
[19:50] <%taylor_iOStkin> But that’s incredible vague and like. Not the least bit constructive in any way
[19:50] <%taylor_iOStkin> You just told him you think it’s aight and expect him to be able to work off of that
[19:50] <PhrygiPhan> Well he asked overall
[19:51] <PhrygiPhan> That's my overall thought
[19:51] <PhrygiPhan> Details tend to incite debate here
[20:20] <Popsioak> http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/popsioak-12: here's that draft in question if anyone's not in thecritters lol
[20:29] <PhrygiPhan> Okay, okay. Too much jargen speak. To you and me, jargen is okay. But the average user shouldn't have to google very other sentence to get an idea of what's going on
[20:29] <Popsioak> Wait, is that crit, PhrygiPhan?
[20:30] <Popsioak> I mean, it's a medical skip. If you're gonna describe medical stuff in a clinical way, you kinda /have/ to use that. And I don't think I'm using anything unnecessarily tbh.
[20:30] <Popsioak> "amoebaic" and "quintet" are really the two largest words i see
[20:32] <Popsioak> It's clinical tone, kinda need it, my guy
[20:32] <PhrygiPhan> A good way to get around jargen, for example: "and the properties of SCP is, to quote collection team 111: "xxx"
[20:32] <Dyslexion> Oof
[20:32] <Popsioak> you.. can't collect these. they're floaters. in your eyes.
[20:32] <Popsioak> it's not jargon
[20:32] <Popsioak> it
[20:32] <&bluesoul> PhrygiPhan tbh if people don't want to see jargon they're on the wrong website
[20:33] <Popsioak> is clinical tone
[20:33] <Popsioak> I mean, can you send an example
[20:33] <Popsioak> perhaps i'm missing something
[20:33] <PhrygiPhan> Dumb it down for us, don't assume we know what quintets or amoebaic means. I know we like to assume what it means because we all have big brains, but it's going to go nowhere
[20:33] <JackIke> PhrygiPhan: Well i mean
[20:33] <Popsioak> but like
[20:33] <JackIke> Not to be rude or anything, but it doesn't take much to get an idea of what both those words mean
[20:33] <Popsioak> those aren't /hard/
[20:34] <Popsioak> it's quintet and aomebaic
[20:34] <Popsioak> like
[20:34] <Simartar> PhrygiPhan: well you need to balance that with clinical tone, clinical doesn't necessarily mean super complex but you have to use some jargon
[20:34] <Popsioak> five things
[20:34] <Popsioak> and a amoeba
[20:34] <JackIke> Plus Dr. Google is always available
[20:34] <PhrygiPhan> Do we want people to read SCPs?
[20:34] <Popsioak> ok, dude, i /am/ already an established author
[20:34] <Popsioak> .au
[20:35] <%Secretary_Helen> Popsioak: Popsioak - (http://www.scp-wiki.net/popsioaks-garden) has 10 pages. (8 SCP articles, 1 Tales, 0 GoI Formats, 0 others.) They have 281 net upvotes with an average of 28. Their latest page is SCP-4735: You're alight again, my dear. at 33.
[20:35] <Popsioak> I have stuff on the wiki
[20:35] <Modern_Erasmus> PhrygiPhan: of course
[20:35] <PhrygiPhan> Cool. Do we want people to read SCPs?
[20:35] <Popsioak> dude, i like, don't write that confused, i hope
[20:35] <Popsioak> i mean
[20:35] <DrLycus> Popsioak: also the terms aren't complicated
[20:35] <Popsioak> my stuff does alright
[20:35] <&bluesoul> PhrygiPhan this is the sort of crappy critique that gets people cease-and-desist orders on the site
[20:35] <PhrygiPhan> Okay, if people are reading SCPs, should they need google open to understand our vocabulary?
[20:36] <Popsioak> Yeah, I like that old man JackIke
[20:36] <Popsioak> He cool.
[20:36] <Popsioak> Can you provide a specific example, my dude
[20:36] <PhrygiPhan> Yes, @popsioak
[20:36] <Mew-ltiverse> PhrygiPhan: dude I watch miraculous ladybug and that uses words I don't know and its a kids show
[20:36] <Popsioak> send please
[20:37] <PhrygiPhan> It's totallly okay to say thing like, "amoebaic"
[20:37] <&bluesoul> .au PhrygiPhan
[20:37] <%Secretary_Helen> bluesoul: I couldn't find any author by that name.
[20:37] <&bluesoul> what have you written for the site please
[20:38] <Modern_Erasmus> PhrygiPhan: I'm gonna be real with you, you're giving awful advice that is completely counter to site norms and culture.
[20:38] <PhrygiPhan> But the reader needs something like, "its a single cell organism." What tells us it's single-celled? Why is that important?
[20:38] <DrLycus> Popsioak: ah, I totally see it now
[20:38] <Popsioak> But it's /not single celled/
[20:38] <Popsioak> It just LOOKS amoebaic
[20:39] <Popsioak> because it ACTS like an amoeba
[20:39] <PhrygiPhan> Just looks? why is it important it looks and acts like it?
[20:39] <Popsioak> which is why i /use/ amorphous
[20:39] <Popsioak> because it's 2 goddamn dimensional
[20:39] <Popsioak> it's SUPPOSED to hint the reader to the fact that it's fucking hard to describe how a 2 dimensional entity's hand would work
[20:39] <&bluesoul> PhrygiPhan if you want to write a third-grade level that's fine, knock yourselves out
[20:39] <PhrygiPhan> But amoebas aren't 2 dimensional……..
[20:40] <&bluesoul> telling others to do so is not really going to fly, alright?
[20:40] <Popsioak> it's a /hand/ my guy
[20:41] <PhrygiPhan> We have COMPLETELY forgotten what we were talking about.
[20:42] <Popsioak> dude like
[20:42] <Popsioak> i don't understand what you're saying
[20:42] <PhrygiPhan> Okay popsioak, what you do want? over ideas? maybe there's something in specific you're not sure about and want ideas on?
[20:42] <PhrygiPhan> overall ideas*
[20:43] <Popsioak> dude, i honest to god don't know if your crit is amazing
[20:43] <Popsioak> quite honestly, it's counterproductive
[20:43] <Popsioak> i mean, *quintet* is a regular word used for groups of five
[20:43] <&bluesoul> Popsioak be wary of crit from people that haven't written a lick for the site
[20:43] <PhrygiPhan> For you, posioak
[20:43] <Popsioak> I've been /trying/ to get crit from authors
[20:43] <&bluesoul> it's the same thing we have to let people down about when they get built up from redditors
[20:44] <Popsioak> None wish to give it to me, it's disappointing, though i did get Cimm
[20:44] <Popsioak> for like, the first paragraph lol
[20:44] <&bluesoul> i need to get this cafe pre-game thread out and then i can take a look before bed, how long is it
[20:44] <Simartar> Popsioak are you up to draft swap? I've only got 2 mainlisted articles though
[20:44] <Modern_Erasmus> Fuck it, I''ll read what you have
[20:44] <PhrygiPhan> Okay, 2 dimensional means they can't be contained. 2 problems
[20:45] * bluesoul sets mode: +b *!*@DBE1284C.6F4E3988.94475B8C.IP
[20:45] * PhrygiPhan was kicked by bluesoul (Trolling or indistinguishable from trolling.)
[20:45] <Popsioak> Thank *god*
[20:45] <Popsioak> I love flatland
[20:45] <DrLycus> i dont mean to be rude
[20:45] <Dyslexion> Wtf were they on abt
[20:45] <Popsioak> how quintet is a big boy language
[20:45] <DrLycus> but i was trying to get crit on my antimemetic skip from them
[20:45] <&bluesoul> Dyslexion i do not know hence the reason
7 days.