I am obviously far from figuring out my new life, but I'm doing my best to get through all of these new struggles. As for my part here—this is hard but with all the many things I'm dealing with in real life, I doubt I'll be returning to staff work since life is constantly having me be focused elsewhere. I appreciate the admins for generously putting me on reserve until I am ready to return, and I apologize that I come back saying that I don't know if I'll ever be returning.

I'll see where life takes me and maybe I'll be able to return someday. For now, it's goodbye. Thank you for letting me be a part of staff, and thank you for always supporting me. I wouldn't have been able to live my life to the fullest of it weren't the staff and friends I've made here. You've all taught me how to be strong.

P.S. I'm not dying (apologies if it sounded like it) just sad. I'll be seeing a specialist for my condition soon. Promise. Thanks again.

Best of luck, T.L. This would be surely a long road, but I'm confident you will be able to reach the goals you set for yourself. Take all the time you need in order to recover and, even if we don't know each other very well, know that me and other people are here if you need to talk.

For the last few days, I’ve been having breakdowns and have been trying to fight them off. I finally snapped yesterday and believed I was actually a sleepy burrito that just wanted to roll around on the floor and sleep. As funny as that may come off, I’m dead serious. I’ve come to the point where I’ve had enough and am desperate for changes.

For the next couple of years (hopefully less), I will be working towards reaching a goal that will most likely be the most difficult I will ever have to face in my life—this will include shutting off my emotions temporarily just so that I can get through with it. In order to make it easier for me, I will be distancing myself from the site including anyone who is part of it. I will only reach out when I severely need to and will only answer messages when necessary.

I do not plan to return to staff work until I’ve reached this goal I have in mind (this goal will be discussed with the current teams I am a part of; for anyone else who would like context, I’ve discreetly hidden hints about what’s going on), and hope to reach this goal by next summer depending on things go.

Goodbye for now, and thank you.

I also want to apologize for my inconsistent activity and staff work in the last year. I’ll do my best to stay more active and help out more often now that things are stable IRL. Thank you to everyone for supporting me and helping me get through this goal thingy. Y’all mean the world to meeeeeeeeee. <3

If you ever need a second to talk, please don't be afraid to reach out! I'll be wishing for your wellbeing in the meantime. Best of luck and take care out there!

please please please PLEASE take care of yourself!

No worries. I made a promise to someone that I will… and it haunts me everyday. O_O)

Thank you for the concern though.

Just updating to let you all know that I may be doing significantly less in regards to my staff duties and site activity for the next 2 months (Dec 2020 and Jan 2021). My mom and I haven’t been receiving income for a significant period of time due to her inability to work, and I am the only other person in the household who can. During those next 2 months, I will attempt to catch up with my classes, complete and submit forms related to college applications, find a good paying job that can benefit both my mom and me, pass my driving test, and manage my staff duties here in the SCP Wiki, all while fighting through my exhaustion and painful symptoms. Those 2 months will act as an experiment to see if I have the mental, physical, and emotional capacity to handle such burdens. The experiment will help me determine whether or not I should leave the site entirely until my situation improves for both my mother and me, and I honestly do not know how long it will take if I were to leave.

However, I will do my best to get through this situation so that I can remain an active member of the site and continue to serve its community. I want to stay active and do as much as I can on-site because I simply do not wish to leave it all behind me. Please know that my decision in leaving the site will only be a last resort if my attempts were to fail—I want to stay. More than anything.

Thank you to everyone who's been understanding and supportive of my approach towards this. You’ve all been so kind, and you all mean the world to me. <3

Glad you're back, T.L.

Also, thank you for all the kind comments! It really means a lot.

Take care!

I will be reachable via Wikidot PM and Discord during this period if needed for any dire, world ending reason and shall be returning to active staff duty on October 15th, 2020.