Four trolls of increasing obviousness showed up in 17 today. First, a user named AlvinEdward appeared, claiming to be a member of the Vietnamese People's Army (as part of the "Strategic Ballistic Defense" division, which doesn't seem to exist) who had mistakenly told his commander that SCPs were real. He was more or less given the benefit of the doubt, but the longer he continued (and he continued for quite a long time), the less he was taken seriously.
During AlvinEdward's stay, a user named killer555 showed up in 19 with the hostmask "alvinedwa E8E03584.9246D7E.9F90536E.IP" and his name listed in /whois as Alvin Edward. AlvinEdward explains this in 17 as a username he uses for playing games (?).
Logs follow, courtesy of Reject.
AlvinEdward (PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM#PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM) has joined #site17
AlvinEdward hello ?
AlvinEdward is there anybody here ?
Drewbear yo, what's up?
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AlvinEdward Hello sir
Drewbear g'morning. what's up?
=-= Scansleeps is now known as Scantron
AlvinEdward um…. can I ask you something that I think you may have been asked by a lot of people …
AlvinEdward Is that acceptable ?
Reject Sure
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AlvinEdward um….. Is SCP real ?
Reject No
Reject We're a creative writing site
Drewbear oh lord, no
Drewbear for instance, I wrote all these: http://www.scp-wiki.net/drewbear-personnel-file
Nala Drewbear: Intelligence Operative "Drewbear"'s Personnel File [Other/Unknown] (rating: +1, 59 revisions, 0 comments) - tags: author
Drewbear completely original to my imagination and if any of them were real, I'd be /deeply/ surprised
AlvinEdward And all the SCP-XXXX things is …. um ….. not real ?
Drewbear that is correct
AlvinEdward So anyone could write a topic about SCP-XXXX ?
Drewbear XXXX is a placeholder that people use when they're writing a new SCP article
AlvinEdward I see …….
Drewbear so I might write a draft for SCP-XXXX that, once done, gets posted as SCP-1234 or whatever
AlvinEdward But what about the visual resources …… it seems to real to me …..
Drewbear many/most of those are pics of real-world art projects
Drewbear some are very good photoshops
AlvinEdward Wow …..
Drewbear !scp-173 for instance, uses a pic of an art sculpture
Nala Drewbear: The Sculpture - The Original (rating: +860, 20 revisions) - http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-173
Drewbear some Japanese artist that I can't remember his name
AlvinEdward You sir made me though that SCP is real ….
Drewbear actually made of a wire framework and papier mache, I think
Reject .guide faq
Nala Reject: http://www.scp-wiki.net/faq - FAQ by DrBright
Drewbear danke, Reject
Reject nala's the real hero
AlvinEdward Oh sorry about this ….. I have not checked the FAQ section …..
AlvinEdward So sorry for disturbing and wasting your time …..
Drewbear s'cool.
AlvinEdward Oh … can I ask you 1 more question before I go ?
Reject Of course
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AlvinEdward Um….. can I use your site's materials as my research documents ?
Drewbear for…?
AlvinEdward Well because I registered with my Officer to do a 250 pages about SCP Foundation ….. so do I have your permission ?
Drewbear okay, I think we need a little more detail here. your officer? and this is for a school paper?
AlvinEdward Yes my senior officer. Not school, report.
Drewbear feel free to use stuff on the wiki as reference material, but make sure that you include links to the original articles in your bibliography
Drewbear and again: none of this is real
AlvinEdward Well …. I kind of registered you guys with my Officer ….. so I have to do it.
Scantron well, now you have permission. What's the prompt/assignment?
AlvinEdward Don't worry, I will make SCP the most discussing topic at my base.
Drewbear ah, military officer. what branch?
Reject .guide licensing
Nala Reject: http://www.scp-wiki.net/licensing-guide - Licensing Guide by DrClef
Reject I guess this could be helpful?
Drewbear .sea history
Nala Drewbear: SCP-800 (An Eastern History), The End of History, Lessons from History, SCP-592 (Inaccurate History Book), A Brief History Of SCP-RU, plus 7 more.
Drewbear grr…
AlvinEdward I can tell you that I'm in SBD
AlvinEdward Yes all of the SCP-XXXX would be very helpful
Drewbear http://www.scp-wiki.net/history-of-the-universe-hub
Nala Drewbear: History Of The Universe Hub [Essay Hub] (rating: +15, 8 revisions, 18 comments) - tags: essay, hub
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Scantron what is sbd?
Reject sorry, what is SBD?
AlvinEdward How to translate this ……
AlvinEdward Strategic Ballistic Defense
AlvinEdward If I translate this correct ….
Reject what country?
Drewbear oh, different country. I thought you were USAian
AlvinEdward Wait …… so you sir are In the United States of America ?
Scantron Most of us are, yeah
Drewbear yeah, the majority of the reader base is
Drewbear not all, but most
Drewbear There's a pretty active Russian community, as well as a Chinese community and Korean community, too, though
AlvinEdward Oh I see ….
Drewbear And one of our more prolific authors is Israeli
Drewbear a lot of South Americans (I'm pretty sure I've seen a lot of applications from Brazil)
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AlvinEdward I see …..
AlvinEdward Oh and can I remove this line in my report ?
Reject What line?
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AlvinEdward "This is a work of creative. No real
AlvinEdward Is that possible ?
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Reject I mean, this /isn't/ real.
Reject I'm not sure how important accuracy is in your report, but one of our defining characteristics is that we're a creative writing website
=-= Mode #site17 +h Doctopus by ChanServ
Silber We're pretty upfront about not being real, yeah
AlvinEdward Yes I know but …… there is a reason why do I choose your website as my report and to remove the line that I just talk about …..
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AlvinEdward So do I have you sir your permission ?
FlameShirt What what?
AlvinEdward Um …… Your permission ?
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Doctopus We'd prefer it if you kept the line about this site being a work of creative fiction.
Drewbear 1) you have permission to use materials from the wiki as research material/background, so long as you include links back to the site in your bibliography
Drewbear 2) we STRONGLY prefer that you do not state or imply that the articles describe real things, or that we are anything other than a creative writing site
Scantron you'll come off as a complete nutjob if you pretend like we're not fiction, too. Virtually none of this stuff is plausible
AlvinEdward Yes I do know and I am not trying to pretend
AlvinEdward But I cannot not remove the line
Doctopus Why not?
Reject If you remove the line, you are pretending. Otherwise, you're implying that we're real
AlvinEdward Well …. before finding out that you sir are creative writers ….. I did a small presentation about Secret Organisation & It's Activities
AlvinEdward to my commander
AlvinEdward and they are extremely interested about you sir
AlvinEdward So sorry about this
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FlameShirt Where are you from, AlvinEdward?
AlvinEdward I am from Vietnam
Doctopus VPA?
AlvinEdward Yes VPA
Doctopus Okay. Right. Well. Let me be blunt and honest here. Either explain that it's creative fiction, or you don't have permission from us to write this. Because I don't want operatives from a foreign military shooting me in the back of the head.
AlvinEdward I do not think that we are going to shoot you or anything …….
Scantron I mean — either you tell them upfront and get in deep shit, or they find out later that it's not real, and you're in like an ocean of shit
Doctopus You don't /think/ that. I'd rather be sure before anything happens.
AlvinEdward My commander create a unit to monitoring your site because he is interested about "anomaly" things ….
Doctopus Yeah, Alvin, your commander is either going to find out this is bullshit real fast, and you're going to be in a lot of trouble.
Doctopus Or we're going to find out you wrote the report anyway, send them a letter explaining the situation, and then you'll get in a lot of trouble.
AlvinEdward So what choice do I have ?
AlvinEdward and what is "bullshit" ?
Djoric Shit from a bull
Djoric poo
Djoric feces
Djoric scat
Scantron Falsehoods, lies, fake, take your pick
AlvinEdward oh …..
AlvinEdward Those are difficult choices …… I do not know what to do …..
Doctopus Your choice is to either include the line, or just tell him you made a mistake.
AlvinEdward Um ….. could you sir give me a moment to think ?
Scantron yeah
Doctopus Sure.
AlvinEdward Mistake is not a option I think …… and include your line not a option either ……
AlvinEdward so do I have a third choice ?
AlvinEdward or other solution ?
Scantron Hope the people in the unit your commander made are really, really stupid
AlvinEdward I hope so ………
Silber because otherwise they will see your mistake after about five minutes on the site
Doctopus Yeah. Like, if that.
AlvinEdward I think they just check the SCP-XXXX archive thing, not the FAQ ……
Doctopus Dude they're going to explore every inch of this thing.
Doctopus And they're going to find the chat, like you did.
Doctopus And we're going to tell them it's fake.
AlvinEdward Do not worry they will not find the FAQ and the chat …..
Doctopus Your optimism is refreshing!
Scantron they're linked from the sidebar
Silber Your plan relies on a military unit completely overlooking the entire sidebar of every page on the wiki
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AlvinEdward I can give them order to look at archive thing only
AlvinEdward other things are not important
Djoric You're just digging your own grave deeper
Djoric because now you are knowingly misleading them.
AlvinEdward True …….
Scantron okay. dude. if they report back finding nothing saying we're fictional, your superiors will just send someone even /more/ important to look around
Scantron someone you can't instruct to ignore shit
AlvinEdward But SCP has a lot of information …. how they report back to my commander nothing ?
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Silber He means "if nothing in their report says we're fictional"
AlvinEdward So who is more important ? Only the Commander and I are the highest in SBD ……
Drewbear Alvin, say this: "Upon further investigation, it turns out that this organization is actually a community of creative fiction writers, who style their stories in the manner of dossiers and reports. I apologize for the error and confusion, but none of the material is real."
AlvinEdward I said the sentence. So what do I do next ?
Drewbear that's up to you. good luck and I hope you don't get in any trouble. But seriously, don't portray us as real any more. You'll just be digging the hole even deeper.
Scantron As in, you wrote it into the report, or said it out loud?
Scantron Because the important part is that your commander knows.
AlvinEdward Thank you and you will not regret it. And I said it out loud … like you said ……
Doctopus No no. WRITE IT DOWN. Or say it to your commander.
Doctopus Tell him this.
Doctopus Because otherwise you're just going to get into a lot of trouble. Like, jail time trouble.
AlvinEdward That will get me ….. um I think it's court marshall ?
Scantron And you think them finding out another way will turn out differently?
AlvinEdward I ….. um …. I do not know ……
Doctopus Honesty is the best policy.
Scantron Basically we're trying to mitigate the utter disaster you've brought upon yourself.
AlvinEdward mitigate the utter disaster ?
Drewbear help prevent things from getting even worse
AlvinEdward Um …….. If I do what you told me to do …..
AlvinEdward I am not going to military jail, right ?
Doctopus No you're going to superjail.
Doctopus ON THE MOON.
Djoric SUCH JAIL
Reject And that's the worst kind of jail
AlvinEdward Oh my ……..
Djoric very incarceration
AlvinEdward incarceration ?
Scantron Being put in jail.
AlvinEdward Oh I see ……..
Drewbear Alvin, we notice that your maskhost places you in Virginia, USA. If you're actually in the military, tell your superior before things get worse. if you're a troll, kudos; this is masterful stuff
Djoric 11/10 would screencap for posterity
Doctopus A++ trolljob
AlvinEdward Virginia ? No no I'm in Vietnam
AlvinEdward Why would I tell you that I am at Virgina ?
Drewbear mhm. then go tell your superior officer /RIGHT NOW/ that you made a mistake.
AlvinEdward If I tell my Commander, do I have to go to military jail ? And what is troll, kudos ?
Djoric troll: someone who fucks around with people online for shits and giggles
Djoric Kudos is congratulations
Drewbear I don't know if you would go to jail or not. I don't know how the Vietnam military works.
Scantron (shouldn't YOU know how the vietnam military works?)
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AlvinEdward oh I see …….. I do not take part in the QC so I do not know how it work
AlvinEdward and what is the "maskhost" thing ?
Scantron What exactly is your job?
AlvinEdward I am sorry I cannot tell you that
Xiao Good afternoon, 17.
Scantron i don't believe you
Xiao You don't work TS-level.
Xiao Bullshit.
AlvinEdward Um ……. TS-level ?
Djoric Top secret
AlvinEdward It is your choice to bielieve me or not to bielieve …….
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=-= Mode #site17 +b *!PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM#PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM by Xiao
Echo AlvinEdward?
Scantron xiao just banned him
Echo I see him in here still.
=-= AlvinEdward was booted from #site17 by Xiao (Well, I don't believe.)
Xiao Sorry, lag spiking.
Xiao INternet's being throttled up here… Rogers has been having really shitty service this whole week.
Scantron thanks, obama
Silber Damn, Echo didn't even get to talk to him.
Silber And I wish he had been more honest.
Silber I was about to write a 250-page report about this for Troy.
Drewbear I choose to believe that we just prevented World Ware 2.5
=-= Mode #site17 -b *!PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM#PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM by Xiao
Drewbear because it's more entertaining that way
Xiao LEt's see if he comes back.
Scantron Silber: I applauded IRL
Xiao Sorry if I'm ruining the fun.
Xiao But there is some shit that I cannot handle.
Xiao If he comes back, torture him.
=== AlvinEdward <PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM#PI.E63509F9.E7D6429.48530E8E|tibbiM> “http://www.mibbit.com”
=== AlvinEdward: attached to kermit.tx.us.synirc.net “Hi Ho! Kermit the Frog here!”
--- End of WHOIS information for AlvinEdward.
Xiao And off to lunch I go!
Silber I didn't realize that Vietnamese officers of dubious legitimacy were one of your buttons
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Scantron steeples fingers
Scantron so alvin
Scantron tell me about killer555
AlvinEdward Oh I used to play games and do other things ….. so I take the name killer555
Echo So…
Echo AlvinEdward…
AlvinEdward yes
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Reject …
Echo stared his bullshit into submission.
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Echo You said you're from Vietnam, right?
AlvinEdward Yes yes I am
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Echo Now, I was told you needed help here earlier, and you had a hard time getting an answer.
Echo How can I assist you?
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Silber AlvinEdward, you're using the chat on a work computer, right?
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AlvinEdward Does laptop is a work computer ?
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Echo A "work computer" means a computer that belongs to your employer or place of business.
AlvinEdward No I mean the military give me this laptop to work
AlvinEdward so does it belong to work computer ?
FlameShirt Yes.
=-= Mode #site17 +h Dmatix by ChanServ
AlvinEdward And I do not know how you would help me ….. I am very confuse
Silber If that laptop is issued by the military, then it likely has logging software.
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AlvinEdward Our military do not have logging software
Vince Bullshit.
AlvinEdward We are still poor
Vince Every company that issues tech out to their employees has a way of tracking what they do on it
Vince That'd probably go double for any military
AlvinEdward I am telling the truth
Reject No you're not.
Scantron Budget US $4 billion (Military Balance2007)
AlvinEdward Um…… I am not from the United States of America
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AlvinEdward I am from Vietnam
Reject That's the VPA's budget, I believe
Scantron i'm saying that the VPA has more than enough money to install logging software
AlvinEdward Our military district do not have the logging software ….
Scantron How do you know?
AlvinEdward Because I use my laptop everyday ….
AlvinEdward And it only have the Windows login thing
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Silber Logging software just runs in the background and keeps track of everything you do.
Silber You wouldn't notice it.
AlvinEdward Oh I see ……
AlvinEdward I just check the Task Manager
AlvinEdward so what is the name of the logging software ?
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Reject What kind of computer you on?
AlvinEdward Um ….. does laptop is a kind of computer ?
AlvinEdward Hello ?
Scantron yes, yes it is
=-= Scantron is now known as Scanlunch
AlvinEdward Um ….. can I ask you sir something ?
AlvinEdward Hello ?
Silber Sure.
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AlvinEdward It is 12h49 In the morning
AlvinEdward and I have my duty tomorrow at 5h in the morning
Doctopus Ah.
AlvinEdward Can I talk to you tomorrow
Doctopus sure
=== TroyL banned *!*@synIRC-F7B29DF9.bois.qwest.net from #site17 on October 11, 2013 11:56:07 PM.
=== Tox banned *!*@synIRC-D19E93A8.socal.res.rr.com from #site17 on September 26, 2013 5:40:43 PM.
=== nexus.hub.us.synirc.net banned danmab!*@* from #site17 on September 24, 2013 1:32:28 AM.
=== nexus.hub.us.synirc.net banned *!~ten.enoelbac.epc.C3FD0E93-CRInys|DkcuB#ten.enoelbac.epc.C3FD0E93-CRInys|DkcuB from #site17 on September 24, 2013 1:32:28 AM.
=== End of #site17 ban list.
AlvinEdward Thank you very much
Silber You should deal with this as soon as possible, though.
AlvinEdward And how do I turn off the chat ?
AlvinEdward I will sir I will
AlvinEdward How to turn off the chat ?
Doctopus Run a magnet over your computer.
FlameShirt You can just close the window or turn off the computer. The chat will close at the same time.
Reject If you're near a window, try throwing the chat out of it
AlvinEdward The chat ?
AlvinEdward I think I will turn my laptop off
Silber As a bonus, throwing the laptop out of the window might also get rid of the logs, unless they're transmitted somewhere.
AlvinEdward But I will get in trouble If I do that
AlvinEdward Thank you for your time to chat with me
AlvinEdward Please have a nice day
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Shortly after this (I don't have timestamps, I'm afraid) a user named Er appeared with some cryptic inquiries. This was followed even more closely by nicks SCP-049 and D-Class9201, who weren't even trying in their rusemaking.
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Er Hello.
Bright er, hi
FlameShirt Hey.
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Er Tell me about SCP-049.
FlameShirt What?
Reject What about it?
Djoric It's a plague doctor
Djoric it doctors plagues
Er I know clues.
Djoric and occasionally stabs people
Eric_H What about it?
Er Doctor..
Er ████
Bright !SCP-049
Nala Bright: Plague Doctor (rating: +152, 40 revisions) - http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-049
Er SCP Foundation..
Djoric You're dropping random words
Djoric with no context
Er I am?
Er The clue is what is really going on with the SCP Foundation.
Bright What is your exact question?
Djoric What's going on is that a bunch of people on the internet like writing weird little stories
Er When is SCP.
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Reject the fuck?
Djoric My thoughts exactly
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SCP-049 Greetings.
Reject You're kidding me.
SCP-049 Oh, My.
Djoric
SCP-049 What seems to be the problem..
Doctopus is this some role playing malarky
Doctopus because if so
Doctopus that's a paddlin
SCP-049 My chamber is quite cold.
Djoric Yep, it's RP
SCP-049 Please explain what you are talking about.
Djoric troll in the dungeon etc etc quit gawing on the pipework
Djoric *gnawing
SCP-049 You are quite scaring me.
SCP-049 You don't have any traces of the disease.
SCP-049 So if i may say, You are a doctor?
Djoric OP in the houss?
=-= SCP-049 was booted from #site17 by Scantron (Roleplaying is not allowed. Cease and desist, or be banned.)
Djoric We got a troll
Djoric danke, scan
MisterFlames Another one.
Reject or same one
Scantron smae one
Scantron it's Er.
Djoric it's always 049 with these fuckers
Echo What's this about a /b/ call to arms?
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D-Class9201 Is SCP real?
Reject You see this shit? No effort
Vince something another user posted in 19, Echo.
Djoric 0/10 go back to wherever you came from
=-= Mode #site17 +b *!*@synIRC-46678823.phnx.qwest.net by Scantron
Vince someone's trying to rally an army of idiots to troll us
=-= D-Class9201 was booted from #site17 by Scantron (yes, yes it is)
Vince, among others, suspects that this is part of a raid instigated offsite, but if so, it's a pretty meager one so far.
EDIT: I only just noticed, upon further inspection, that those last three nicks all have the same hostmask. We're looking at one or two rather tenacious trolls here.
EDIT 2: Reject pointed out that, after Drewbear pointed out that AlvinEdward's server (monster.va.us.synirc.net) is in Virginia, making it unlikely that he lives in Vietnam (which I don't know enough about to comment on; my chat server is somewhere in Australia), the guy came back attached to a different server (kermit.tx.us.synirc.net), this one located in Texas.