Well, as we all know, the 914 experiment log went from an interesting bit of information concerning a nice SCP, and kind of exploded. So, as part of the Mass Edit, I'm going to prune it down a fair bit, and take out all of the really nonsensical or silly logs. I'll post the edits here before I do the actual pruning.
Go for it, and I think the 261 and 294 logs could benefit from a similar review. I'd do the Coffee Machine set if people think this is a good ideal.
might want to hold off on sorting out all the log pages until after the mass edit's over, kids.
AYYY! Look what I found!
Resurrecting this thread from the grave because we've been getting complaints that the experiment log is again getting long in the tooth with lolfoundation entries. Thoughts on pruning some of this?
Go for it!
I'm going to tackle the Log of Anomalous Items (and likely Places/Events) when I get back home, and we'll need a 914/269 trim from Rewrite as well.
I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of line, but cannot restrain myself. The latest entry is actually using my own contribution and is making a parody of it.
Name: Dr. Veritas
Date: 2/7/2017
Total Items: Five (5) identical notes (written and copied by Dr. Veritas) reading: 'Are you sentient?'
Input: One note
Setting: Coarse
Output: A puddle of ink and a small pile of wood pulp.
Input: One note
Setting: 1:1
Output: One note of similar size reading: 'Are you capable of feeling, perceiving and experiencing subjectively?' Handwriting does not match Dr. Veritas.
Input: One note
Setting: Fine.
Output: One note of similar size containing an excerpt from the 1641 treatise 'Meditation on First Philosophy' by René Descartes in Latin.
Note reads: 'Ego sum, ego existo, quoties a me profertur, vel mente concipitur, necessario esse verum.' (English: 'I am, I exist, whenever it is uttered from me, or conceived by the mind, necessarily is true.').
Input: One note.
Setting: Very fine.
Output: One note of similar size containing an excerpt from the essay 'An Essay Concerning Human Understanding' by Philosopher John Locke reading:
'This Source of Ideas, every Man has wholly in himself … And though it be not Sense, as having nothing to do with external Objects; yet it is very like it, and might properly enough be call’d internal Sense.'
Note: The goal of this test was communicating with SCP-914 and discovering if it's self-aware. Let's…write that one up as 'inconclusive'. ~ Dr. Veritas.
Name: Dr. Berger
Date: 3/1/2017
Total Items: 1 piece of standard 8.5’ × 11’ white printer paper, 1 ██ brand No. 2 pencil
Input: One of the aforementioned pieces of paper, with “Are you sentient?” written on it in pencil, along with the pencil.
Setting: 1:1
Output: The same piece of paper with “LOL” written under the first message in a handwriting style similar to the ██████ font. The pencil had approximately one millimeter of graphite removed from the tip.
Note: Heck. - Dr. Berger
Am I being petty? I very well might be, and feel free to call me out on it. This is getting on my nerves a little bit though.
LurkD has asked me to handle the pruning for 914 specifically. All pruned logs will be posted here, for clarity. Reason for removal will mostly be it being overly LOLFoundation, nonsensical outcomes or in rarer cases adding nothing new to the experiment log (a test that has been done before/too similar).
Name: Dr. Chris █████
Date: 03/01/2016
Total Items: 5 homework worksheets from █████ High School in ██████, CA.
Input: One homework worksheet containing mathematical problems appropriate for a tenth-grade level education.
Setting: Rough
Output: █ strips of shredded paper.
"Oh, no! What is my son going to say to his teacher, 'My homework was destroyed at Dad's work?' What is my ex-wife in ████████ gonna say when I mail this back!?"-Dr. █████
Input: One homework worksheet containing scientific questions appropriate for a tenth-grade level education.
Setting: Coarse
Output: Unassorted pulp and ink.
"My son is flunking Science! No!" -Dr. █████
Input: One homework worksheet containing questions on standard English grammatical conventions, appropriate for a tenth-grade level education.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One homework worksheet containing problems similar to the first inputted mathematical worksheet.
"That is still not the same one as I originally had. Also, I wondered if 914 can do your homework for you." Dr. █████
Input: One worksheet containing questions on conventional world historical events, appropriate for a tenth-grade level education.
Setting: Fine
Output: The same worksheet filled in. Checking the answers showed that the work wouldn't earn a passing grade if counted as an assignment.
"This thing //does do homework for you! But if I tell my son, I would certainly get reprimanded." -Dr. █████//
Input:One homework worksheet with several questions related to domestic economic habits, appropriate for a tenth-grade level education.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: The same worksheet, filled in. All answers were correct.
"I should send this back to my son. He currently has a 'D' in Home-Ec." -Dr. █████
Name: Dr. Reeder
Date: 3/12/17
Total Items: One (1) piece standard paper with the words "How are you, 914?"
Input: One (1) piece of paper as described above.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) piece of paper with the words, "How are you, the Clockworks?"
Note: Attempt at direct communication failed. -Dr. Reeder
Name: Dr. Lynch
Date: 15/3/17
Total Items: One (1) white Xbox One console with one (1) white controller
Input: One (1) white Xbox One console with one (1) white controller
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One (1) fully working Gaming PC created by an unknown company. Seems to work in a slightly better condition than most PCs.
Note: Well, I suppose this confirms that 'PC Master Race' theory. Also, I'm keeping this. -Dr. Lynch
Name: Dr. Wittig
Date: 2/8/2017
Total Items: One (1) Small Replica of SCP-173
Input: Item Mentioned Above
Setting: 1:1
Output: SCP-173 "Action Figure." Output shows no anomalous properties.
Note: Mine. - Dr. Wittig
Note: Can you get me one? - Dr. Kenneth
Note: Nein. - Dr. Wittig
Note: Christ, it's moving. - Dr. Wittig
Name: Dr. Watterson
Date: 2-7-17
Total Items: Four (4) Polaroid images of SCP-096. Testing cleared by O5 Command.
Note: SCP-096 was moved to a makeshift container outside of SCP-914's chamber. All doors leading to SCP-914 were open for the duration of the test. The surrounding area was evacuated one hour prior to and following testing. Four Class-D personnel were on site and tasked with carrying out tests. All four personnel were equipped with a wireless electrical kill collar for enforcing disciplinary action and minimizing difficulty in termination in the event of an accidental viewing of the image.
Input: One image of SCP-096
Setting: Rough
Output: A thin strip of wood, as well as a small puddle of ink. Product did not induce a hostile reaction from SCP-096.
Input: One image of SCP-096
Setting: 1:1
Output: A picture of a homeless man sitting under a stop sign. Sign was in Arabic. Product did not induce a hostile reaction from SCP-096.
Input: One image of SCP-096
Setting: Fine
Output: A stylistic bobblehead doll of SCP-096, designed to look "young and hella cute" as described D-78819. Every time someone looked away and looked back at it, its facial expression changed. Product did not induce a hostile responce, although echolocators inside its cell showed it to glance over towards D-78819 every time she looked at the bobblehead.
Input: One image of SCP-096
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Seemingly the same image. D-78819 was instructed to look at the image. After she did, SCP-096 stood up and began screaming as per usual. However, after it was done doing this, instead of running towards D-78819, it "pulled a sombrero out of nowhere and began dancing to mariachi music." Echolocators in its cell, as well as an audio recorder, were able to confirm this. SCP-096 did this for 15 minutes before taking off the sombrero, which halted the music and disappeared completely. SCP-096 then ran towards D-78819 and [DATA EXPUNGED] per usual.
Note: Following this experiment, SCP-096 was contained without incident by MTF Eta-10 "See No Evil". All products of this experiment have been contained in a safe in SCP-096's chamber. Janitorial staff cleaned up results of final experiment. Testing was concluded for the day.
Note: *uncontrollable laughter* -Dr. Watterson
Name: Dr. Vuttenburg
Date: 2/7/17
Total Items: One (1) Unbranded water gun
Input: One (1) Unbranded water gun
Setting: Fine
Output: One (1) WWII-era M2 Flamethrower, loaded. Weapon deposited in site armoury.
Note: I think we should all accept that this machine is used for creative ideas and not for scientific studies. C'mon guys, if a man wants to put in a cake or a soda can just for the fun of it, is that really a crime? Of course not! If you want to use SCP-914 for a creative purpose even though other staff might think you are silly, then just don't listen to them and let yourself use SCP-914 for anything you want. -Dr. Vuttenburg
Name: Dr. Wittig
Date: 2-3-17
Total Items: One (1) Nintendo Switch belonging to Dr. Rohan
Input: Dr. Rohan's Nintendo Switch
Setting: Very Fine
Output: █████ Brand Gaming Computer
Note: Sorry, Rohan. -Dr. Wittig
Note: What the fuck? As stated earlier, we don't want personnel treating 914 like a toy! Also, as he was not authorized to carry out this test, Dr. Wittig is getting suspended from testing for the remainder of the month, and any people attempting to pull shit like this again will be treated the same. Seriously, do not let this happen again! -Dr. Rohan
Note: Nice job, Wittig. Rohan's just mad you took his Switch. -Technician Lantern
Name: Dr. Animus
Date: ██/█/20██
Total Items: 3 █████ brand computers
Input: 1 █████ brand computer
Setting: rough
Output: several spheres of varying materials
Input: spheres from previously stated experiment
Setting: fine
Output: 10 █████████ brand calculators
note: We now know it doesn't "save" what it does
Name: Dr. Pogue
Date: 11/26/2016
Total Items: One (1) Brand new ████ brand 14" snare drum with included heads.
Input: One (1) Brand new ████ brand 14" snare drum with included heads.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) Brand new █████ brand 14" snare drum with used █████ heads.
Note: After testing, it was concluded that any sticks used to strike the drum will break immediately upon impact.
All pruned logs will be posted here, for clarity.
Why not post it in 914 log's discussion thread? Some users might want to ask where their inputs have gone, and it would help for them to know why theirs are gone from the list.
The location of the removed logs was per LurkD's instruction. I'll comment in the discussion thread if that's favorable.
EDIT: Posts in the discussion have been made. I'll provide more feedback to users on request.
