Chat user DoctorAdelric came into the critters for help with a draft. I was notified by a chat user that the crit chat was getting into a bit of a dogpile, so I popped in to help the user. They responded with passive-aggression, snark, frustration, etc and did not take my criticism, which was a bit more patient than usual, well. I gave them an official warning regarding their behavior. Extremely short rope. Logs below.
23:50:32 <•TheMightyMcB> ‘If so, I recommend reading the *absolute shit outta this site,* until you know like, 100+ skips well enough to summarize them from memory.`
23:50:33 <Sevatar> it’s soooooooooooo sad.
23:50:39 <•TheMightyMcB> i dont think thats a really good metric
23:50:46 <Sevatar> You're right.
23:51:04 I'm crazy, tbh. No foolin', take everything I say with a grain of salt, except for this -
23:51:15 You don't even need to read Series I, except to know what not to do.
23:51:21 <•TheMightyMcB> a better one would be if you could read an idea and immediately start thinking about how *you* would turn it into an article
23:51:40 <Sevatar> ^
23:51:46 This is why McB gets the big bucks.
23:51:59 <•TheMightyMcB> writing for this place requires a certain level of outside the box thinking so you dont tread all over the same old ground
23:52:01 <DoctorAdelric> Ok
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23:52:16 <DoctorAdelric> So you don’t like my Ramen SCP idea?
23:52:24 <Sevatar> Quite honestly?
23:52:30 <•TheMightyMcB> but really it's a skill you develop by just figuring out what works and what doesn't, however that may be
23:52:36 <Sevatar> I could not get through the ConProcs, due to how off-tone it was.
23:52:49 <DoctorAdelric> -_-
23:52:58 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: link me what we're discussing here
23:53:00 <DoctorAdelric> “Off-tone”?
23:53:15 http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/dr-adelric
23:53:16 <etoile> here http://www.scp-wiki.net/clinical-tone-declassified
23:53:20 <Sevatar> http://www.scp-wiki.net/clinical-tone-declassified
23:53:21 <•Secretary_Helen> Sevatar: Clinical Tone: Declassified (Rating: +157. Written 3 years ago By: A Random Day) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/clinical-tone-declassified
23:53:35 <•TheMightyMcB> etoile, Sevatar thank you both but i've got it from here
23:53:44 <Sevatar> Thanks, McB
23:53:46 <•TheMightyMcB> np
23:53:57 <etoile> 👍
23:54:16 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: isnt takeshi that protectron from fallout 4 that serves noodles in diamond city?
23:55:03 <DoctorAdelric> I never played any Fallout games
23:55:21 <•TheMightyMcB> shame, give em a try sometime
23:55:34 <DoctorAdelric> Ok.
23:55:41 <•TheMightyMcB> anyways back to the idea
23:55:45 <DoctorAdelric> But what do you think of the doc I wrote?
23:55:58 <•TheMightyMcB> ‘All crates containing a particular kind of SCP-5056 are to be stored in their designated storage rooms in Site ██ at Sector 3 in ████, Japan.`
23:56:09 so lines like this have a major issue
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23:56:17 <•TheMightyMcB> you redacted stuff in the containment procedures
23:56:39 if those are the instructions for containing this thing, how am i supposed to know how to contain it if the information is hidden?
23:56:57 SCPs might be fiction but they still need to make sense in universe
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23:57:33 <DoctorAdelric> U make a good point,
23:57:34 <•TheMightyMcB> say this thing gets out somehow, or someone steals it or whatever. How do i find out where to take it back to, or where to go for experts on it?
23:57:43 <foxangel3313> Can I get some feedback on a sandbox? I want to make sure that what I have so far isn’t egregious in any way from current articles
23:58:21 <Sevatar> I can take that, Fox.
23:58:40 <foxangel3313> Sevatar: http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/foxangel3313
23:58:54 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: ‘Only Lvl.04 Personnel or higher are allowed to enter SCP-5056’s storage area.`
23:58:56 <Sevatar> hhhhhhh
23:58:57 Heimal???
23:59:01 Cosmic Top Secret??
23:59:05 I’m EXCITED!!!
23:59:10 — Sevatar claps quietly
23:59:22 <•TheMightyMcB> so first you're doing some strange stuff with paragraph breaks that dont make sense
23:59:32 new sentences dont need to be on their own lines
23:59:36 <Sevatar> Fox - I'll PM you
23:59:41 <foxangel3313> okay
Sunday, May 17th, 2020
00:00:03 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: that alone would get you downvotes for such strange formatting
00:00:23 ‘Two (2) Security Personnel`
00:00:24 this too
00:00:34 nobody does the Number (#) thing
00:00:50 ⇐ DoctorAdelric quit ↔ •uraniumempire (opped) nipped out
00:01:24 <•TheMightyMcB> your actual clinical tone itself isn’t awful- ok sure leave mid crit that's cool
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00:01:34 <Noodles> Some ping issue I assume
00:01:36 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: connection issues?
00:01:51 <DoctorAdelric> Yeah
00:01:56 <•TheMightyMcB> damn
00:02:02 <•Jak> pftt
00:02:04 <•TheMightyMcB> ill try to keep all of the messages displaying while you're here
00:02:17 <DoctorAdelric> I’m trying to pm you
00:02:29 <•TheMightyMcB> that command is /msg nick messagecontent
00:02:37 <DoctorAdelric> It keeps saying your offline
00:05:09 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: i pm'd you
00:05:12 did you get it
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00:05:20 <DoctorAdelric> I know, but it won’t let me reply
00:05:31 <•TheMightyMcB> i think this is an issue with your web connection
00:05:43 are you on like a really old phone or something?
00:05:55 <DoctorAdelric> No
00:05:57 <•TheMightyMcB> your hostmask is from cingular which doesn't exist and hasnt for years
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00:06:14 <•TheMightyMcB> they were bought by at&t like ages ago
00:06:20 <DoctorAdelric> Wait what?
00:06:29 <•TheMightyMcB> ~ten.ralugnicym.36F13FA6-CRInys|edarotcod#ten.ralugnicym.36F13FA6-CRInys|edarotcod
00:06:33 that's your hostmask
00:06:47 <DoctorAdelric> Dang
00:07:22 <Sevatar> wtfffff
00:07:31 bro does Adelric live in the past?
00:07:38 Maybe that's why he came up with Day Break…
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00:07:45 <DoctorAdelric> Anyway. That’s why I need all of ya’lls help helping me proofread my SCPs.
00:08:00 <Noodles> Sevatar: I was about to say it's the original author of Day break caught in some sort of timeloop
00:08:23 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: honestly, your clinical tone itself isn't like all that bad
00:08:36 the sentence structure, you have the absolute basics of active voice and such
00:08:38 ⇐ •uraniumempire quit (~uraniumem@3273B765:356BBFAB:C0EC8685:IP) Ping timeout: 185 seconds
00:08:46 <Sevatar> holy shit wait okay qntm if that really is you, send us a sign by making Day Break blue!!
00:08:52 <•TheMightyMcB> what's weird is your structure
00:09:03 Sevatar: qntm did the lock not when day breaks
00:09:23 shaggy did when day breaks
00:09:25 <Sevatar> o my bad
00:09:34 <etoile> lol
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00:09:38 <Sevatar> Yeah, qntm did 055, that's why
00:09:46 <DoctorAdelric> What’s weird about the structure?
00:10:00 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: you have paragraph breaks after every sentence
00:10:14 <DoctorAdelric> Ah
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00:10:25 <DoctorAdelric> Easy fix
00:10:40 → gumbal1 joined (~uraniumem@3273B765:356BBFAB:C0EC8685:IP)
00:11:00 <•TheMightyMcB> yes but there are further issues in the article that give me pause as well
00:11:12 that's just the most obvious one that raised an eyebrow
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00:12:00 <DoctorAdelric> How about now?
00:12:10 gumbal1 → uraniumempire
00:12:23 <•TheMightyMcB> the basic idea itself, for example, feels incredibly derivative of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from the Harry Potter books and also the Jelly Belly candies of the same name
00:12:26 •uraniumempire was opped (+o) by ChanServ
00:12:45 <•TheMightyMcB> so the article wont be able to ride on the novelty of the anomaly because it's been done before
00:13:11 <DoctorAdelric> Did u read about the effects of each flavor?
00:13:27 <•TheMightyMcB> that really doesnt change the initial impression
00:13:28 <DoctorAdelric> *certain flavors
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00:13:47 <•TheMightyMcB> like i as a reader on the site will not make it past the description here
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00:13:58 <•TheMightyMcB> because the actual anomaly itself feels like a ripoff
00:14:23 <DoctorAdelric> Other r people (my friends) liked it
00:14:23 ⇐ •uraniumempire quit (~uraniumem@3273B765:356BBFAB:C0EC8685:IP) Connection reset by peer
00:14:24 <•TheMightyMcB> even if you didnt intend for it, that doesnt change how it comes off
00:14:34 your friends arent the target audience of the scp wiki
00:14:36 <Noodles> DoctorAdelric: Also, I have to note after reading your SCP I don't really get what's supposed to interest me. It didn't really have that much of a story and it just felt like a log of various flavors you could come up with.
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00:16:26 <•TheMightyMcB> not to mention that the list itself is both too long and not interesting enough for me to actually want to read every single entry
00:17:35 ⇐ gumbal1 quit (~uraniumem@3273B765:356BBFAB:C0EC8685:IP) Client exited
00:17:41 <•TheMightyMcB> moving to the taste logs doesnt help either, because while now the flavors have substance, the substance that they do have kind of irks the scientist in me
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00:17:55 <•TheMightyMcB> ‘TASTE TEST SCP-5056-Cyanide Flavor:`
00:17:55 `D-49877 takes one bite. D-49877 comments that it has no flavor whatsoever. D-49877 then starts to foam at the mouth and collapsed to the floor. D-49877 is pronounced dead.`
00:18:31 ⇐ •uraniumempire quit (~uraniumem@3273B765:356BBFAB:C0EC8685:IP) Ping timeout: 183 seconds
00:18:38 <•TheMightyMcB> for example, hydrogen cyanide does have a flavor
00:18:47 it takes metallic, and a little bit like almonds
00:18:52 *tastes
00:19:23 <etoile> bitter almonds
00:19:29 is the stereotype
00:19:33 <DoctorAdelric> Fine. I get the point. I’ll just write something else.
00:20:01 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: look dude im not here to like take a big ol shit on your parade but there is a reason we send first time writers to the ideas forum first’
00:20:17 so they dont go writing up a whole SCP about something that nobody on the site will like
00:20:39 the process exists for a reason
00:21:00 writing here is a skill and figuring out how to do it is a long and difficult process
00:21:13 i was here for 6 months before i even wrote a single word
00:21:24 and honestly my first article is trash and i want to rewrite it
00:21:30 <etoile> ive been here since 2013 and only just now writing
00:21:43 <DoctorAdelric> FYI I’ve written stories for years and ya’ll r the first people to bash my ideas.
00:21:47 Just being honest
00:21:59 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: have you written for a critical audience before
00:22:01 <etoile> dude
00:22:16 <Noodles> Well to be honest, SCP articles are pretty difficult to write. We're just here to help you get started.
00:22:20 <DoctorAdelric> A couple times yes
00:22:29 <•TheMightyMcB> etoile, Noodles guys i said i got this
00:22:43 <Noodles> Sorry, didn't see, just kept tabbing in and out of here.
00:23:26 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: like i said, the basics of clinical tone are there
00:23:31 <DoctorAdelric> Well I have dozens more of ideas. Hopefully one of them you all will like
00:23:50 <•TheMightyMcB> you just need a solid idea and a better grasp of what an SCP article is supposed to accomplish
00:23:55 <Sevatar> I'm a journalist, tbh. and like, an amateur fantasy writer. I've written some high-level political analysis articles.
00:24:04 <•TheMightyMcB> the clinical tone is the hard part imo
00:24:05 <Sevatar> NONE of them are as hard as SCP articles are.
00:24:17 Don't be down on yourself because you can't nail it just yet.
00:24:20 The key is to keep trying.
00:25:20 <DoctorAdelric> I thought I did get the idea of an SCP document after reading so many of them.
00:25:39 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: you very well might have
00:25:54 in your own words, what do you think the purpose of an SCP file is
00:26:05 just so i know what you know and we can work from there
00:26:42 <DoctorAdelric> Identifying the anomaly, how to contain it, and what it does. Followed by additional files (AKA, addendums)
00:26:54 <•TheMightyMcB> that's only half of it
00:26:59 that's the in universe half
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00:27:18 <DoctorAdelric> What else is there then?
00:27:24 <•TheMightyMcB> Narrative
00:27:29 → •Zyn (promoted to admin, opped) joined
00:27:32 <•Zyn> Yo critters
00:27:34 <•TheMightyMcB> SCPs are fiction first and foremost
00:27:38 Oh fuck the captain in is
00:27:41 *is in
00:27:43 <DoctorAdelric> I thought I already did that
00:27:46 <•Zyn> any chance someone can look at a thread or at least placeholder?
00:28:08 It's pretty short, about 200 words. The author has been waiting for some time for a second reviewer.
00:28:16 Heyo, TheMightyMcB
00:28:23 <Sevatar> Needs greenlights?
00:28:26 <etoile> hey zyn!
00:28:31 <•Zyn> Sevatar: just review
00:28:34 <Sevatar> Hello, by the way!
00:28:39 <Alpha> hey there Zyn
00:28:39 <Sevatar> I can take care of review.
00:28:40 <Cognitive> Hm, right. Anyone have any slow burn horror advice/just general advice how to keep people hooked?
00:28:40 <•Zyn> this is… an author who has had a bit of a rough time with things so
00:28:48 <Cognitive> Since I keep struggling with it. :|
00:28:50 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: you have a fairly barebones narrative going on but not much in the way of a legitimate plot
00:28:51 <•Zyn> I wouldn't fasttrack them to greenlights immediately, personally
00:28:58 <Sevatar> Zyn, tbh is there anyone in particular you think I should message about joining butterfly squad?
00:28:58 <•Zyn> Sevatar: hello! That would be lovely
00:28:59 http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13273089/the-non-existent-nuclear-fallout
00:29:16 <Sevatar> I'd really like to be able to give greenlights.
00:29:18 <•Zyn> Sevatar: I have a list of things I ask for to determine readiness, yes
00:29:44 <Sevatar> Awesome! If you could shoot me a link to that list, I'd love to check it out and see if I'm qualified!
00:29:45 <•Zyn> Cognitive: I think we have at least two guides on that
00:29:50 also the essays on style
00:29:54 .sea essays on style
00:29:54 <•Secretary_Helen> Zyn: Essays On Style (Rating: +64. Written 6 years ago By: SoullessSingularity) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/essays-on-style
00:29:55 <Cognitive> Ah.
00:30:00 Mind giving em a link? And thanks.
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00:30:10 <•Zyn> I think there's a few notes from accomplished horror authors on how they approach their writing
00:30:21 <Cognitive> Alright.
00:30:22 <•TheMightyMcB> I could use some of that
00:30:26 My horror is poppy
00:30:29 *poopy
00:30:34 <•Zyn> Cognitive: just go to the guide hub, open the writing resources collapsibles, and ctrl+f for keywords
00:30:46 "horror" and "scary" probably are your go-to here
00:30:52 teach a man to fish, yadda yadda
00:30:55 <Cognitive> Alright.
00:31:07 <•Zyn> also belated, but hello etoile!
00:31:11 <etoile> =D
00:31:19 <•Zyn> and Alpha
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00:31:33 <Alpha> :)
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00:31:36 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: would an example help, perhaps?
00:31:50 <DoctorAdelric> Sure
00:32:00 <•Zyn> Sevatar: if you're interested in joining Butterfly Squad, PM me and I'll send you the criteria for review
00:32:08 <•RockTeethMothEyes> .s hack horror
00:32:09 <•Secretary_Helen> RockTeethMothEyes: I'm sorry, I couldn't find anything.
00:32:10 ⇐ Maddog1929 quit (~PI.3CE15933.D7147524.B5F795AA|291goddaM#PI.3CE15933.D7147524.B5F795AA|291goddaM) Quit: Leaving
00:32:11 <•TheMightyMcB> alright im gonna be an asshole and plug my own stuff cause im familiar with it
00:32:16 <•RockTeethMothEyes> .s hack terror
00:32:17 <•Secretary_Helen> RockTeethMothEyes: Essays By A Hack: Terror (Rating: +72. Written 1 year ago By: The Great Hippo) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/essays-by-a-hack-terror
00:32:30 <•RockTeethMothEyes> This is an essay I link A LOT.
00:32:40 It's a good resource for pinning down what makes things scary.
00:33:03 <etoile> yeah i can vouch for it
00:33:04 Soulless → •Soulless|dreamin
00:33:07 <•TheMightyMcB> scp-3272
00:33:09 <•Secretary_Helen> TheMightyMcB: SCP-3272: It's Rainin' Men, HALLELUJAH! (Rating: +236. Written 248 days ago By: TheMightyMcB) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3272
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00:33:22 <etoile> i got like 8x better at determining how to write scary after reading that
00:33:37 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: alright so this article is my most successful and it's also one of my shortest
00:34:17 <DoctorAdelric> Oh another SCP that’s one of my favorite “reads” is the SCP that shall not be mentioned.
00:34:33 <•TheMightyMcB> it works because it uses its wordcount effectively to tell a small story and to play with the reader's understanding
00:34:46 <•RockTeethMothEyes> DoctorAdelric: That doesn't help anyone. What SCP are you talking about
00:34:55 <barredowl> 2521 i believe
00:34:57 <•TheMightyMcB> 2521 i assume
00:35:01 <DoctorAdelric> I can’t tell you.
00:35:05 Yeah
00:35:08 That one
00:35:16 <•TheMightyMcB> you know they arent real right
00:35:17 <barredowl> well you can say
00:35:24 <Sevatar> SCP-2521
00:35:24 <•Secretary_Helen> Sevatar: ●●|●●●●●|●●|● (Rating: +4045. Written 4 years ago By: LurkD) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2521
00:35:27 <Sevatar> oh
00:35:27 <DoctorAdelric> I know but it’s fun
00:35:28 <•Mew-ltwoverse> you can just say 2521
00:35:29 <•TheMightyMcB> like lurkd made that shit up on photoshop
00:35:35 <•RockTeethMothEyes> DoctorAdelric: It isn't fun. It's confusing
00:35:40 <Sevatar> Don't try to write like your favorite articles. Write like yourself.
00:35:42 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Especially when people are trying to help you
00:35:50 <DoctorAdelric> Well if ur gunna be an ass about it
00:35:57 <•Mew-ltwoverse> Sevatar: good advice
00:35:58 <•RockTeethMothEyes> I am, yes.
00:36:07 <DoctorAdelric> I’m just saying
00:36:15 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: these chats have a 0 tolerance policy for roleplay
00:36:22 we dont do it
00:36:23 <DoctorAdelric> I know I write my own original ideas.
00:36:33 <•Mew-ltwoverse> we never said you didn't
00:36:43 <•TheMightyMcB> there's a roleplay server if you want to do that
00:36:46 <Sevatar> I apologize if I came of as an asshole.
00:36:49 <DoctorAdelric> Ok I won’t have any fun here anymore.
00:37:00 <etoile> come on dude dont guilt trip
00:37:04 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: how old are you
00:37:10 <DoctorAdelric> 27
00:37:20 <•TheMightyMcB> jesus christ dude act like it then
00:37:21 <Sevatar> Hang on, now… Adelric, if there's ONE big bit of advice I can give you, it's…
00:37:27 Never take ANYTHING personally.
00:37:28 NEVER
00:37:28 <•TheMightyMcB> i didn't have you pegged for a day over 15
00:37:29 <Sevatar> NEVER EVER
00:37:29 <etoile> pfffft
00:37:32 <Sevatar> Not online.
00:37:33 <chiifu> i don't know the events prior to this, but there are going to be harsh critters
00:37:34 <Sevatar> Not here.
00:37:59 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Going to ask that we stop dogpiling, please.
00:38:02 Thank you.
00:38:07 <Sevatar> Like, in here, you are gonna get line-editted. As a writer, let me tell you, that's the most painful thing you will ever go through.
00:38:09 <•Mew-ltwoverse> okay lets try to keep the peanut gallery away here
00:38:10 yeah
00:38:11 <Sevatar> It's never personal.
00:38:26 <•TheMightyMcB> Sevatar, etoile, chiifu please let crit staff deal with this
00:38:30 <chiifu> by the way Sevatar, want to hear out this idea i talked about with someone?
00:38:36 <•TheMightyMcB> ive said it like 4 times now and ill just start kicking people if it continues
00:38:40 <DoctorAdelric> Sorry if I’m a bit salty. I take my ideas and stories seriously and at times take criticism personal.
00:38:40 <Sevatar> pm me, yeah
00:38:42 <chiifu> got it TheMightyMcB
00:38:47 <Sevatar> sorry, McB
00:39:14 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: nobody here is going to suck you off about how good of a writer you are
00:39:32 <DoctorAdelric> I never said that
00:39:36 <•Mew-ltwoverse> DoctorAdelric: it can be hard to separate criticism from emotions at first, but we really do have the goal to help, I assure you
00:39:37 <•TheMightyMcB> you could write the next Hamlet and somebody would have somewhere you could improve it
00:39:59 <DoctorAdelric> Yeah
00:40:12 <•TheMightyMcB> dont take criticism personally, take it constructively
00:40:25 nobody will call you a terrible author for having an idea we dont like
00:40:42 and if somebody does, you come to staff and it'll be dealt with
00:40:56 <DoctorAdelric> I understand you’re helping, but instead of telling me to go somewhere on how to improve my writing please tell me what to fix and how to fix it. Please.
00:41:16 <•TheMightyMcB> i have been for literally the last 30 minutes
00:42:05 <DoctorAdelric> You’ve been telling me it’s boring and that it’s similar to jelly beans
00:42:17 <•TheMightyMcB> squeaky wheel gets the grease
00:42:25 like i said, im not here to suck you off
00:42:30 and im not here to write it for you either
00:42:42 <DoctorAdelric> I understand that.
00:43:17 <•TheMightyMcB> so me telling you where the problems are is so you can fix it yourself
00:44:36 <DoctorAdelric> Ok. So when you say it lacks narrative what do you mean?
00:44:48 <•TheMightyMcB> i mean that there is no logical progression
00:44:53 no beginning, middle, and end
00:45:00 there's no tension and release
00:45:08 <DoctorAdelric> That doesn’t tell me anything
00:45:12 Oh
00:45:56 Yeah I guess I shouldn’t have introduced this one first. 😑
00:46:00 <•TheMightyMcB> the point of an SCP out of universe is to set up the reader with an interesting scenario
00:46:05 play around with it
00:46:11 and then give a satisfying conclusion
00:46:19 .s thing that kills you
00:46:21 <•Secretary_Helen> TheMightyMcB: Did you mean : 1) SCP-TTKU-J (which is a thing that kills you): A Thing That Kills You, 2) SCP-4514: The Thing That Kills You, ?
00:46:26 <•TheMightyMcB> .sm 2
00:46:27 <•Secretary_Helen> TheMightyMcB: SCP-4514: The Thing That Kills You (Rating: +372. Written 1 year ago By: Captain Kirby) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4514
00:46:34 <DoctorAdelric> I did. Did u read the addendum of how they tried to find where this ramen company is located?
00:46:50 <•TheMightyMcB> that isn't a narrative
00:46:53 thats a detail
00:47:12 4514 is a good example
00:47:32 it gives you a simple premise that makes the reader ask a question
00:47:33 <•Mew-ltwoverse> a narrative is what the reader hooks to, it's what ties all the details together
00:47:38 <•TheMightyMcB> this is a knife that kills things
00:47:44 which like… duh thats what knives do
00:47:50 so why is it an SCP you might ask
00:47:54 that's the hook
00:48:05 you gotta find out whats going on
00:48:27 so you read it and see the test logs
00:48:27 <DoctorAdelric> I thought I did that
00:48:41 <•TheMightyMcB> and the test logs show the knife… well killing people like you'd expect
00:48:48 until things appear off about the tests
00:48:57 people are volunteering, foundation staff, etc
00:49:04 then the test subjects get impossibly old
00:49:10 some of them are over 100 years old
00:49:13 ⇐ DrTARS quit (stlob.dna.stob|651304diu#stlob.dna.stob|651304diu) Quit: Connection closed for inactivity
00:49:21 <•TheMightyMcB> and the ending hits you like a truck
00:49:28 the knife exists in a universe where people cant die
00:49:39 <DoctorAdelric> Dang
00:49:43 <•TheMightyMcB> can you see the build up and release there?
00:50:01 every single word on the page serves the purpose of keeping the reader hooked
00:50:30 <DoctorAdelric> Ok
00:50:44 <•TheMightyMcB> so what you want to do with a simple object SCP is this
00:51:11 you want to establish the rules of your item, you want to explore them in interesting ways, and then you want to cap it all off with an interesting way to break those rules
00:51:22 or just something the reader obviously wouldnt have thought about
00:51:29 .s ink under the skin to flesh
00:51:30 <•Secretary_Helen> TheMightyMcB: SCP-4354: From The Ink Under Your Skin To Flesh (Rating: +132. Written 276 days ago By: Crashington) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4354
00:51:33 <•TheMightyMcB> this is another great one
00:51:47 they're tattoos that come alive and rip off your body
00:51:59 super short, super simple, until you get to that last test
00:52:50 <DoctorAdelric> Are you talking about the Skin Wyrm?
00:53:49 → AlexlovesEggos joined (~PI.E7F3BE6D.B0B6AF29.4EB533B4|criigc#PI.E7F3BE6D.B0B6AF29.4EB533B4|criigc)
00:54:15 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: no, im talking about 4354
00:54:15 <Noodles> Anyone here willing to take a look at the first draft of my new idea? All about lies, the fear of being caught and the question of what is anomalous and what isn't?
00:54:28 <DoctorAdelric> I haven’t read that one yet
00:54:29 <Noodles> I'd take it in DMs to not prevent the crit going on now <3
00:54:53 <•TheMightyMcB> but it's conceptually similar to the skin wyrm but it actually doesnt matter because the two articles do very different things
00:55:20 <AlexlovesEggos> hello, i like made a draft for an SCP im pretty new here but from what ive gathered im supposed to come here?
00:55:24 <•TheMightyMcB> nobody really cares that there are other tattoo scps because 4354 does its own thing and stands out because of it
00:55:32 <•RockTeethMothEyes> AlexlovesEggos: This would be the place, yes.
00:55:48 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: so like if you really wanted to, you totally could do an every flavor ramen scp
00:55:52 you'd just have to nail it
00:56:12 <DoctorAdelric> I try to
00:56:12 <•TheMightyMcB> and that's the hard part
00:56:33 you need to make it unique in its own way and your draft really doesn't because it's unfocused
00:56:34 <AlexlovesEggos> should i just send my description? its not too long i just dont exactly know what to do with it haha
00:56:57 <•RockTeethMothEyes> AlexlovesEggos: There is a character limit in chat, so that would not be advised.
00:57:05 If you are sending anything, it's a link to the sandbox your draft is in
00:57:07 <•TheMightyMcB> it checks all of the boxes for what an SCP is supposed to be but it doesn't set the hook properly
00:57:07 <Sevatar> AlexlovesEggos - Post it to the ideas Forum. Make sure to read the pinned posts so you know the format your post needs to take.
00:57:38 <AlexlovesEggos> ok thanks :) can i send my sandbox link here?
00:57:43 <•RockTeethMothEyes> AlexlovesEggos: You may.
00:57:44 <Sevatar> Yes.
00:57:45 <•Mew-ltwoverse> AlexlovesEggos: personally I only look at drafts that have had the concept greenlit, so I won't look at your draft but I can crit the concept for you
00:57:49 <DoctorAdelric> Some SCPs seem to not have narrative and are simple
00:57:54 <•Mew-ltwoverse> im not speaking for everyone here, though
00:58:02 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: you'll notice that those are primarily the super old ones
00:58:03 <DoctorAdelric> But people still love reading them
00:58:17 <•TheMightyMcB> literally nothing posted lately is like that
00:58:24 <barredowl> i will bring up an example of an author who pretty much exclusively does short-form stuff
00:58:25 <DoctorAdelric> Have you ever heard of “nostalgia”?
00:58:26 <barredowl> .au weryllium
00:58:27 <•Secretary_Helen> barredowl: weryllium - (http://www.scp-wiki.wikidot.com/weryllium) has 69 pages. (58 SCP articles, 9 Tales, 1 GoI Formats, 1 others.) They have 7772 net upvotes with a rounded average of 113. Their latest page is SCP-5253: Primeval Precambrians at 27.
00:58:29 <•TheMightyMcB> nothing posted in the last 5-7 years is like that
00:58:37 DoctorAdelric: is that sarcasm
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00:58:43 <AlexlovesEggos> i guess i will send it but ill try to get it greenlit as well
00:58:45 <DoctorAdelric> Sorry
00:58:51 <barredowl> weryllium gets away with having not a lot of story because his ideas are really interesting
00:58:53 <•Mew-ltwoverse> DoctorAdelric: people can enjoy things without aspiring to write like them
00:59:02 <•TheMightyMcB> im trying to help you dude i dont appreciate the bullshit
00:59:24 <•Mew-ltwoverse> I quite like SCP-590, but it's writing style is outdated
00:59:39 <•TheMightyMcB> tbh even weryllium's typical style doesnt really sit well
00:59:45 <AlexlovesEggos> http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/alexloveseggos
00:59:46 <DoctorAdelric> I’m just reflecting how I feel I’m being treated
01:00:04 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: if you want to bitch and moan you can find another critter
01:00:10 <•Mew-ltwoverse> we're just trying to help you
01:00:10 <•TheMightyMcB> im done wasting my time with you
01:00:31 <Noodles> Mew-ltwoverse: You have time for a draft?
01:00:43 <DoctorAdelric> They said this is the only place to be critiqued.
01:00:51 <•RockTeethMothEyes> DoctorAdelric: You may also use the forums.
01:00:52 <DoctorAdelric> And be greenlit
01:00:55 <•Mew-ltwoverse> Noodles: not tonight, but tomorrow I can look over a short one
01:01:06 <•RockTeethMothEyes> The ideas forums can be found here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/c-89000/help:ideas-critique
01:01:11 <Noodles> Mine is at 1.5 k, if that constitutes short
01:01:22 <•Mew-ltwoverse> DoctorAdelric: McB is saying he is not going to help you anymore, not that you can't use this channel
01:01:24 <•RockTeethMothEyes> You may also reach out to reviewers to look at the forum thread
01:01:28 <Noodles> It's a first draft though, so it might take a bit longer.
01:01:32 <•RockTeethMothEyes> you may find a list of trusted reviewers here:
01:01:34 <•Mew-ltwoverse> Noodles: yes that is short in my opinion
01:01:34 <•RockTeethMothEyes> .s butt squad
01:01:36 <•Secretary_Helen> RockTeethMothEyes: Butterfly Squad Roster (Rating: +65. Written 1 year ago By: Zyn) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/butterfly-squad-roster
01:01:40 <•Mew-ltwoverse> send me a tell
01:02:00 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: allow me to clarify
01:02:04 <Noodles> So that should be /.tell Yournick right?
01:02:18 without the slash of course.
01:02:31 <•TheMightyMcB> DoctorAdelric: i am personally done helping you, and if you talk to any of the other critters the way you've talked to me, you will very quickly find yourself out on your ass
01:02:43 nobody here owes you anything
01:03:39 <•Mew-ltwoverse> Noodles: no /, just
01:03:41 <DoctorAdelric> I’m not trying to be anything
01:03:48 <•Mew-ltwoverse> .tell noodles h
01:03:48 <•Secretary_Helen> Mew-ltwoverse: *Jots that down on her clipboard* Got it, I'll let them know…
01:03:55 <Noodles> Gotcha. Still new to IRC.
01:04:08 .tell Mew-ltwoverse http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/not-noodles second tab
01:04:09 <•Secretary_Helen> Noodles: *Jots that down on her clipboard* Got it, I'll let them know…
01:04:32 <DoctorAdelric> I just need help is all. The critical criticism could be toned down just a tad.
01:04:41 <•Mew-ltwoverse> dude
01:04:56 <•RockTeethMothEyes> DoctorAdelric: May I see the link, please?
01:05:07 <Noodles> On that note, anyone here for some instant feedback so I can improve the draft now? Just turned morning and got a lot of time here <3
01:05:14 <•Mew-ltwoverse> how do you expect to improve if people are not honest and constructive.
01:05:15 <DoctorAdelric> http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/dr-adelric
01:05:19 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Thank you.
01:05:39 882 words. Nice and short.
01:05:45 <DoctorAdelric> Well some are being, pardon my language, ass’s.
01:05:46 <Sevatar> Noodles - Yes! Second tab, 'The Fiction We Live;' Please PM me when you're done!! http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/sevatar
01:06:07 <•RockTeethMothEyes> DoctorAdelric: This is your final warning
01:06:18 <DoctorAdelric> I didn’t do anything
01:06:21 <Noodles> Sevatar: Oh, I meant I was looking for crit, sorry haha. I can take a look at yours later though when I am more in the critting mood <3
01:06:30 I'll bookmark your sandbox for now.
01:06:36 <Sevatar> Ooooo, my bad lol
01:06:49 <Noodles> It's no biggie. I phrased it poorly.
01:06:57 <•Zyn> DoctorAdelric: If you call people doing you free volunteer favors asses, that is certainly doing something.
01:07:07 <•Mew-ltwoverse> DoctorAdelric: you haven't listened to critique, you've been rude to critters, and overall unpleasant and childish
01:07:18 <•Zyn> You've pretty much just tanked your chances at anyone wanting to help you out in the future.
01:07:22 <•RockTeethMothEyes> It will no longer be tolerated.
01:07:59 <DoctorAdelric> I apologies if I seemed to be that way.
01:08:04 <Noodles> Sevatar: Though one quick thing I can note right away since it's just the conprocs for the contest. Is there a reason you redact parts in the conprocs?
01:08:05 <•RockTeethMothEyes> I'm going to read this now
01:08:09 <•Zyn> There is no "seems".
01:08:15 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Please be patient with me.
01:08:17 <•Zyn> You /were/ extremely rude, childish, and offputting.
01:08:18 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Thank you.
01:08:41 <•Zyn> RockTeeth is one of our best reviewers.
01:08:49 Also very in demand for requests.
01:09:04 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Zyn: Oh, I just started. McB was working on this earlier.
01:09:04 <Noodles> TheMightyMcB: Do you still have some time?
01:09:29 <•Zyn> RockTeethMothEyes: I know, and I saw.
01:09:33 I'm giving them some foreknowledge.
01:09:35 <DoctorAdelric> I’m just trying to figure out how to fix the problem
01:09:35 <•RockTeethMothEyes> Ah, gotcha.
01:09:51 <•Zyn> I can understand being frustrated if something isn't immediately positively received after someone has worked hard on it
01:09:59 however, that doesn't give anyone a free pass.
01:10:08 <DoctorAdelric> I don’t mean to be rude. I just act defensive when I feel threatened. I’m sorry.
01:10:09 <•TheMightyMcB> Noodles: i think ive had enough for today lmao
01:10:11 <Sevatar> Noodles - Yes. Frankly, I haven't come up with the hash-key yet. It's literally just a placeholder block for now. Additionally, the date will be rewritten to 'when the anomaly turns 18'.
01:10:23 So, tl;dr, both those redactions will be/are being removed.
01:10:30 <Noodles> TheMightyMcB: I understand. It's not a problem <3
01:10:47 Sevatar: Ok good, I'll take a look later then.
01:10:48 <•TheMightyMcB> thanks
01:10:59 <•Zyn> DoctorAdelric: preexisting bad behaviors aren't really a good excuse. Tone it down, cool off, and be more polite with reviewers in the future and we're good.
01:11:21 <DoctorAdelric> Ok
